Learning to Love Again
by opal aline
Summary: Bella has lost the ability to love due to past abuse, will Edward be able to turn that around?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you to my dear friend and beta, Justine, for turning my words into something that makes sense…smooches to you Twiny! To all my reader, thank you so much for your awesome support!**

**BPOV**

"Jasper Whitlock, I swear to God I will kick your ass if you don't get out of my kitchen now!"

Idiot!

Why the hell is he in here bothering me anyway?

He knows I hate it when he gets in my space without my permission. No sex for him tonight. Well…maybe nothing that drastic.

I can hear Emmett's loud voice coming from the bar, "I'd get outta there if I were you, man. She punches hard; don't let that tiny frame fool you."

I feel Jasper snake his arms around me from behind, his breath on my neck, "I love you, Bella," and then he's gone.

Fuck!

Now my evening is ruined. Dammit! The first time he said it, I let it slide because he was drunk. Not this time.

Damn!

And he has been such a good lay. I sigh heavily. Why did he have to ruin it with his love crap? I do not allow people to love me anymore – period.

**~xx~ **

It has been five years since I have allowed anyone to love me.

I remember well the last time a man had told me he loved me; it's actually a happy memory.

My husband was huddled in the corner, crying like a little girl.

Begging me for his life.

Telling me how much he loved me.

Swearing to me he would change.

Then, I shot the fucker.

I feel the satisfied grin spread across my face at the memory of him bleeding on the floor. Everything I used to be died the night I shot my husband. Good riddance. That Bella needed to die. How could I have let him beat me for three years? I feel the familiar burn of anger as it bubbles under the surface. Anger at him…anger at my parents…but mostly anger at myself. The only piece of my former life that remained was my education. I have been trained as a chef. I'm now the head chef at Elite, one of the hottest weekend spots in Seattle.

**~xx~ **

It has been another packed night. Thank God we're only open three days a week. Now I need to unwind. First stop: the bar. I collapse on a stool near where Emmett is still tending a few stragglers.

"Hey Bells," he greets me. "You want your usual?"

"You better make it a double tonight, Em."

Emmett crooks an eyebrow as he pours me two shots of vodka. I throw one back immediately, relishing in the warmth that begins to spread through my body.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Emmett asks.

"Jasper told me loved me."

Shock spreads across Emmett's features. "What the hell did he do that for?"

"I don't know." And I really don't. We had good thing going, he knows what I expect of him and he's complied with my wishes – until now.

"Hey, cheer up, baby, you'll find a new fuck buddy." I just roll my eyes at Emmett; he is so ridiculous.

**~xxx~**

My navy blue mustang roars into the parking lot of the hotel and into the valet line.

I step from my car, flipping my keys to the valet, barely pausing to take my valet ticket as I walk into the lobby. My stride is all business – no feeling – I don't allow it. I only feel one emotion now.

Anger.

I should never have kept Jasper around as long as I did. But he is just so hot and easy going I can't help myself. I know Jasper will be here tonight, we always meet here on Saturday night. I am relieved to see that he isn't in the bar. I don't want to waste time with talk. I burst into my usual suite like a tornado, pulling my clothes off as I walk.

"Whitlock! Pants off – now!"

I'm pleased to see he is already on the bed waiting for me…more then ready. I impale myself on him, riding him hard till both of us cum and are exhausted. I remove myself from him immediately. I never allow a man to hold me, and there is no point in delaying the inevitable.

I dress quickly and tell Jasper to follow me to the living room. I pour a drink and stand, swirling it in my glass. "We have to talk, Jasper." His face tells me he is expecting these words from me. "We won't be meeting here anymore," I tell him.

His hazel eyes flood with emotion. "I know and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, but that doesn't make it untrue."

My jaw is clenched in anger as I speak, "You shouldn't be wasting your love on me. Give it to someone who can return it. I don't have that ability."

He gives me a small, hopeful smile before speaking, "Can we still be friends?"

"Of course, Jasper."

**~xx~**

I'm in a reminiscent mood as I speed across town to my apartment. I think back to the life I used to have – the Bella I used to be.

She wouldn't recognize the woman I am now. My passion for cooking is the only thing that remains of my old life. I remember well the first day I realized I wanted to be a chef. I was fourteen and had spent the summer in France with my parents. I loved the food in France and was completely obsessed with learning the art of fine cooking.

I begged and begged my parents to pay for me to attend culinary school after prep school. They weren't happy about it. They wanted me to be a lawyer or something – something better for their high society friends. To them, being a chef was like being a servant. It was not something well bred, well educated ladies did.

I stuck to my convictions though, and continued to pester them for the next year. I finally convinced my mother by telling her I could be the next Martha Stewart. I started culinary school at eighteen and I loved it!

I loved the experimenting….I loved the creating….I think that was the last time I was truly happy. I am relieved to be back at my place and gladly slip into my shower, washing Jasper off me for the last time.

I hope for a dreamless sleep as I climb into bed. It has been a while since my last nightmare and I hope they stay away again tonight.

**~xx~**

I love that my life has a very predictable routine.

Sunday is my brunch day. Every Sunday I have brunch with my friends Felix and Demetri. They are the sweetest couple.

Felix is as enthusiastic as always when he opens the door to me standing on the stoop, "Darling! You look hideous! What happened to you last night? Oh my God! Are those scones? Come on, get your self in here, you crazy bitch!"

All I can do is smile at the barrage of questions Felix throws at me. He has so much zest for life it is infectious. It amazes me how quickly I've become friends with Felix and Demetri. But, I've come to learn they make it impossible to be anything but comfortable with them.

Felix works at the restaurant with me as the seating host.

He is the sweetest man ever – you can't help but like him. It is easy to see why Demetri loves him. Demetri welcomes me in his quiet manner, embracing me lightly and ushers me into their vibrantly colorful kitchen.

I love these Sunday afternoons. It is so relaxing to be the one sitting at the table and not the one cooking. Normally I don't like men doting on me, but Felix and Demetri are more like overbearing aunts. They fuss over me. They give me advice. I don't really mind.

**~xx~**

Monday is my boxing day. I love the physical release that comes from punching something as hard as I can.

"Bella, you ready to get started?"

"Always, Emmett, always."

Emmett is my boxing buddy and he is the perfect one for me. He is so much bigger than me I can lash out all my anger on him and it barely even fazes him.

I'm so glad I found Emmett. We met in the laundry room of our building where he was trying to torture a load of clothes. I offered to give him a hand, and from there we were fast friends. It was through Emmett I found my job. His adopted mother, Esme, owns the restaurant where I am now head chef.

There has never been anything sexual between us; he is more like the big brother I never had. I really feel that I can tell him almost anything. Emmett is one of the few people who knows about my past and still wants to be my friend.

There aren't a lot of people out there who want to be friends with a woman who had been in a nut house.

My muscles are rejoicing with the burning contractions as I swing at Emmett, my gloved fist making contact with his rock hard abs.

"How did things go with Jasper?" Emmett asks.

We don't miss a step, bobbing and weaving as we talk. "Don't worry I didn't damage your best friend; we're cool," I assure him.

Emmett's booming laugh echoes off the walls, "No worries, baby. He's a big boy, he'll find someone new. We need to find you a new boy toy though."

I continue my punching as I talk, "I don't know, Em. I'm not feeling in the mood to be looking right now. Besides, I'm picky." I sigh, "Sometimes it's more trouble then it's worth."

Emmett circles and my punch grazes his chest. Damn he is light on his feet for such a big guy.

"So you ever gonna hook me up with one of your friends, or just leave me with my own company all the time?" Emmett jokes and I roll my eyes at him. He has been trying for months to get me to set him up with my friend Rose.

He has only heard about her, but he is very interested. "Hmmm, I suppose I can see if Rose is game," I muse aloud. "What do I get in return?"

Emmett's face lights up. I can almost see him mentally flipping through his friends, thinking of someone he can set me up with. "I could hook you up with one of my boys. I can think of several—"

I cut him off abruptly. "No way am I hooking up with any more of your boys! Riley was a complete idiot. He was like a damn puppy, practically humping my leg in the bar. And hello! Look what happened with Jasper." I pause for a moment before continuing, "Maybe I should take a break from men or something."

Emmett stops, and he is grinning devilishly at me. "So are you gonna start batting for the other team?"

I roll my eyes again. "In your dreams, McCarty." I give him one last punch and head to the locker room.

"Please, please video tape it if you make the switch!" Emmett calls to me and I ignore him, flashing the bird before I push the locker room door open.

**~xx~**

Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week.

I hate the fact I have to go to this damn anger management class.

Talking doesn't help. Beating the shit out of things helps.

I like my advisor though, she's cool. She never pushes me too hard, even though she only knows the very basics of why I'm so angry.

She knows my ex-husband had been abusive, but she doesn't know how bad it got.

I feel calm today and it is easier for me to talk when I'm calm. I spot Rose as soon as I walk into the room. She spots me at the same time and begins her slow glide toward me. Her face is kind as she approaches, and I see the genuine concern on her face. "Hey, Bella, how are you doing this week?"

I answer as honestly as I can, "I think I'm pretty good this week."

We head over to a couple of comfy chairs to start our session.

Rose looks at me expectantly, her expression emotionless, and she gives nothing away. "Tell me about your week."

"Well, I spent last Wednesday with Alice. We got our nails done. Of course Thursday, Friday and Saturday I was at work—"

Rose cuts me off, "Did you see Jasper on Saturday night?"

I had been hoping to avoid this; Rose doesn't approve of my dating habits.

"Yes." My voice is a low growl.

"Are you still sleeping with him?"

I can't help the smile crossing my face. "We never quite got around to the sleeping part."

Rose rolls her eyes and ignores my comment. "How do you feel about Jasper?"

I hate talking about my feelings. I sigh, irritated.

"Nothing, Rose, I feel nothing for him."

Rose's blank demeanor slips and she is talking as my friend now, "What the hell, Bella! How can you have sex with someone for three months and say you feel nothing for them."

This line of questioning is really beginning to annoy me.

"I just don't, Rose, but if it makes you feel better I won't be having sex with him anymore."

I can tell Rose is surprised by this news when she cocks an eyebrow at me, waiting for my answer.

"He told me he loved me," I throw the words out there as though they're something smelly and rotten and I want them as far from me as possible.

"And you are still unwilling to let someone love you?"

"Yes." I can feel my ire building like slow moving flames.

"Why?"

I can hear the hiss and pop of the flames in my mind as my temper increases. "You know why, Rose."

She begins speaking in an overly patient tone – like she's talking to a child.

I hate that voice.

"You need to say it again, Bella, so you can deal with your feelings."

This is always the worst part of the sessions. I'm being forced along a cliff of anger – desperately clinging to the edge of the abyss of sanity – praying I don't fall in.

"Every proclamation of love I have ever received has come with conditions or pain. The ability to love was beaten out of me. How the fuck can I trust anyone again, Rose! How! How can I trust myself?" I'm shaking by this point; the flames of fury are coursing through my mind. I can barely see or hear or think.

Rose is calling me back to sanity, "Breathe, Bella, just breathe." Her words are calm and soothing, helping me douse the flames, pulling me back from the edge. Her voice is whisper soft now. "It's okay if you want to cry, Bella, you know that right?"

I acknowledge her words, but I do not allow myself tears. Crying is for the weak. I prefer to cling to my anger. It makes me feel in control.

A few more deep breaths, _in...out...in...out_, the air is washing through me, cooling the flames. "I'm good, Rose, no need for any water works."

Rose is serious when she looks at me, her blue eyes piercing my brown ones. "You're going to need to give into the tears at some point, Bella. Crying it out will help you in a way that all the boxing in the world can't. Trust me, I know. Crying doesn't make you weak. It takes a strong person to admit to being hurt and betrayed by people who loved them. You don't have to do it alone though…I'm here whenever you are ready."

We drop it for now and I tell her about the rest of my week. She doesn't ask any more about my feelings and I keep my anger under control.

As soon as my session is over Rose, my friend, reappears. We don't have the typical relationship that most people have with their advisers. We became friends quickly after the first time we met. Rose and I have a lot in common, both having been abused and betrayed by those we loved. Although, she is way ahead of me in being able to deal with, and talk about, her anger issues.

"So, you dating anyone right now, Rose?"

"You know I'm not, Bella. Why?"

"I was wondering if you would let me introduce you to a friend of mine."

Rose smiles at me. "Is he nice?" she asks.

"No, he's actually the devil," I scoff, "Yes, of course he's nice. I've told you about him before."

She looks a bit wary. "Oh God, it's not Jasper is it?"

I roll my eyes at her. "No, jerk, not Jasper…Emmett, my boxing partner."

Her smile lights up her face and she almost looks like teenager. "Really? From everything you've told me about him, he sounds great."

I just smile back at her and loop my arm through hers. "Come on, let's go get lunch."

**~xx~**

Wednesday is always a good day. I spend almost every Wednesday with Alice.

Alice is the tiny little whirlwind of a woman who owns the boutique across the street from my restaurant. She is a regular at our bar and you just can't help but like her, even if she annoys you into liking her. We always do something very girly and today is no exception. Alice is dragging me with her while she gets her tongue pierced.

"Bella, won't you please reconsider getting something pierced?"

"I don't know, Alice. I don't know if that's me."

"Please, Bella, please, please, please! Do it for me! You would look so cute with a ring or something through the corner of your bottom lip."

I look at her with doubt, but I know she can see my will fading. How could someone so small bend the will of everyone they encounter? Alice is a force of nature, like a tsunami, she can move anything.

Much to Alice's delight I decide on a small, silver barbell in the left lower corner of my mouth. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would and Alice was right…I do look cute. I hate it when Alice is right, which is most of the time.

**~xx~**

Thursday is turning out to be a great day.

Jasper is being really cool about everything, which makes me really happy because Emmett would have been pissed if I had made things weird with his best friend.

Before I know it, it's Saturday night again – well actually, it's two-thirty in the morning on Sunday and I'm sitting at the bar watching Emmett and Jasper cleaning up after a long night. I always enjoy hearing their banter after three crazy nights at the restaurant.

I sigh in satisfaction, content in my routine, ready for another week in my tightly controlled world.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please review, I always enjoy feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thanks to my fabulous beta and friend, Justine. This would be gibberish without you, babe! Thanks to my girls Alice, Kathie and Twiny for your awesome support! Smooches all around!**

**BPOV**

The first bite of the leather on my skin makes me scream in pain and fear.

Why?

Why is this happening?

The second bite is worse still, compounding the pain of the first impact.

The blows come again and again and again.

I cry out.

Tears stream down my face.

Why is he doing this to me?

The pain lashes through me as the blows continue to rain down on my back.

I can feel the blood as it travels in warm rivers down my spine.

I beg him to stop.

I claw desperately at the floor, trying to put distance between him and me.

He doesn't stop.

I scream and cry till there is nothing left.

My voice is gone.

My strength is gone.

I let the blackness take me.

**~xx~**

I sit bolt upright in my bed, sweat is pouring off of me, my chest is heaving in fear. Where am I? Where is he? I blink in the darkness.

All is quiet.

No one is here.

It has been so long since nightmares have torn me from my sleep.

I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, willing my mind to quiet.

It doesn't help.

I will sleep no more tonight.

**~xx~**

I lie, looking at the ceiling as the morning sun peeks through the windows thinking about how this day shows no prospect for being better than last night.

Today is Tuesday. Anger management day.

Rosalie will notice my mood is off. The last thing I want is to recount my dream, but I know that is what will happen. She is good at dragging my demons from me.

I sit, staring at Rosalie, trying not to look like the sulking teenager I feel is inside.

"Are you going to tell me about it, Bella?" Rosalie cocks her eyebrow at me.

I don't want to talk even though I know I should.

The look Rosalie is giving me pisses me off. It's like she is challenging me, telling me I'm too much of a chicken to talk.

I speak through clenched teeth, "I had another nightmare last night."

Rose just waits, looking me in the eye, silently telling me to go on.

I roll my eyes and clench my teeth, hating that she has the power to make me spill my guts.

"About James," I spit.

"And how did you feel when you woke up?"

"Scared and then angry."

"Who were you angry with, Bella?"

"James! Duh!"

Rosalie is unfazed by the venom and sarcasm in my voice. "Anyone else?"

"My parents." I don't even try to hide my contempt.

Rosalie continues to stare me down. "Anyone else, Bella?"

I know what she is getting at and I hate that she knows me so well.

"Myself," my voice is a whisper.

Rose is looking at me with her most serious face. "Why?"

Is this necessary? Does she always have to push my limits?

"For being so weak," I can barely whisper these words.

"And being weak makes you angry?"

My muscles snap to attention and I'm standing in front of Rosalie, yelling right in her face, "Yes it makes me angry! I loved them! I trusted them! And they stabbed me in the back and abandoned me when I needed them!"

My breath is coming in ragged gasps as I continue to yell, "If I had been strong enough, I wouldn't have let my parents run my life. I wouldn't have let them pressure me into marrying James, and I sure as hell wouldn't have let him beat me more than once."

My whole body trembles from the force of my anger.

Rosalie's face is full of sympathy and pity.

I want none of that.

She steps toward me, arms outstretched. I push her from me and storm away.

This session is over!

**~xx~**

**RPOV**

I shake my head, watching Bella's form retreat from me.

I'm sad for her.

So much anger and she holds it to her, like a security blanket. All the boxing in the world isn't going to help her. She needs a good storming, screaming cry. Of course, what she really needs is to let someone love her, the one thing she won't let anyone do.

With a sigh, I grab my purse and head to Bella's usual haunt.

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

Bella whips her head around to look at me and rolls her eyes.

"I'm not here as your mentor, Bella, just a friend. Promise."

She gives a small nod and I slide onto the bar stool next to her. I nudge her shoulder with mine. "You gonna talk to me?"

I watch a slow smile spread across Bella's face. "You have plans Sunday night?" I nod at her. "Are you up for a double blind date? Emmett called yesterday and asked if Sunday would be okay. You game, Rose?"

I feel the smile pull at my lips. I have been dying to meet this Emmett Bella has told me so much about.

**~xx~**

**BPOV**

"Rose, will you please stop fidgeting? You're driving me crazy." You would think she had never been on a date before.

We are standing outside Emmett's door holding several dishes of food.

The door swings open the second we knock. Emmett's muscled frame fills the door as he stands there, gaping like a fish, his eyes roving over Rosalie's body.

Jeez, way to be subtle Emmett.

I push Emmett's shin with my toe, hoping it will help him get his head out of his ass.

"Oh...um...sorry. Come in, ladies." Emmett finally moves, allowing us to walk in.

"Emmett, Rosalie. Rosalie, Emmett."

I keep the introductions simple and head for the kitchen to add the finishing touches to dinner.

As I push my way through the swinging door to Emmett's kitchen, I run right into someone.

My first thought is to be pissed about almost dumping food down my front, but as I look up all those thoughts completely leave my mind.

Who the hell is this?

The most beautiful man in existence is standing in front of me. It's like he was ordered from a catalog of perfect men, called, How to drive Bella out of her mind. I know social convention calls for me to say something...anything.

My brain is totally numb – shocked with the specimen of manliciousness before me. The deep, burning emerald of his eyes is causing me to blush, something I rarely do.

I'm pretty sure my tongue must be lolling out of my mouth. My eyes take in his finely chiseled jaw line, his perfectly shaped lips and his tousled copper hair.

The air around me sparks and crackles like an electrical current. I feel my stomach do loop-the-loops as his mouth turns up into the most heart melting, crooked grin I have ever seen.

Oh my God!

Did I just sigh!

Please say that wasn't out loud. He is going to think I'm completely mental.

To both my delight and horror his smile gets wider and his eyes sparkle at me.

Oh no!

I must have sighed out loud.

Before I gather my scattered wits, I feel hands gently touch my upper arms and my body is moving. I blink, confused for a second until I realize he has switched our places. I am now in the kitchen and he is out of it.

I manage to mumble the word, "Thanks," as he continues to pierce me with his gaze.

"Bella, I presume."

His voice is amazing, so smooth, like melted chocolate surrounded in velvet. All I can do is nod; my capacity to speak has completely left me.

"I'm Edward, Emmett's brother."

Whoa! Back up! Emmett's brother! I knew Emmett had a brother, but I was not expecting the man standing in front of me.

Edward is grinning down at me, and I can feel the blush spread across my skin.

What is it about this man that affects me so?

He gives me a wink and then he is gone and I am left trying to remember how to move.

Never in a million years would I have expected myself to react like that.

Rose bustles into the kitchen just as I manage to gain control of my motor skills. "Bella, thank you, thank you! Emmett is adorable!"

I'm having a hard time concentrating on Rose right now, my mind is still focused on blazing emerald eyes and tousled copper hair.

I mentally slap myself.

This is ridiculous!

You would think I had never been on a date before.

"Bella!" Rose is poking me in the side.

"Ow! Cut it out, Rose!"

"You zoned on me there, Bella."

"Ah...yeah, sorry." Rose is looking at me with amusement.

"Sooo...what do you think of Edward?"

I'm not even sure how to answer this, my brain is still rebooting.

"Hell, I don't know, Rose. I was only standing there for a couple seconds."

What do I think of him?

I'm not really sure. I mean obviously he is hot beyond belief, but there is more there.

What do I make of that electric charge?

And the depth of his eyes…they made me feel like I was drowning…drowning in exquisite pools of green.

Dinner is going well. Emmett and Rosalie are clearly into each other, almost to a nauseating point. I'm actually expecting them to start going at it on the table any second.

So, here I am on the weirdest date ever. Part of it is my own fault; I shouldn't have fought Emmett's idea of going to a club or something. I just have issues with other people touching my food. I never eat out if I can help it.

I try to be discreet as I watch Edward eat. I am totally mesmerized by the movement of his mouth.

The way his lips close around his fork…

The way the muscles in his jaw move…

The way his tongue sweeps over his lips…

What is wrong with me? I can't believe how I'm fawning over this guy. I have never been like this about a man before.

"Ow! Who kicked me?"

"Edward asked you a question, Bella. Traditionally that requires a response." Rose and her stupid pointy toed shoes. Man, that stings.

I realize I must have just been sitting here staring at him and didn't hear what he asked. What is it about him that turns me into a blithering idiot?

"Sorry," I mumble.

"Emmett told me you don't like to eat in restaurants. Why is that?" Edward's head is cocked to the side as he waits for me to answer.

Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

"I like to know who is touching my food."

His face is a light with amusement. He'd better not be laughing at me.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Don't you find it ironic that you can't stand to eat in restaurants even though you work in one?"

I feel my own face brighten and I offer him a smile. "I do have a method to my madness. You never know what someone could be doing to your food. It makes me nervous. I feel better when I'm in charge."

He looks at me suspiciously, lifting the corner of his lasagna with his fork, like he is looking for something.

I can't help myself; I burst out laughing as he flashes me a playful smile.

I feel myself starting to ease. Now that he has broken the ice, I want to know more about him.

"So, what do you do, Edward?"

"I'm a free lance photojournalist."

Hm, interesting.

"How does that work? Do magazines come to you or do you approach them?"

He swallows and appears to be in thought for a moment. "Well, usually I make a pitch to a magazine about a story I want to cover."

"I assume they pay your expenses."

He laughs softly. "Of course."

"Do you write as well?" I ask.

"A little bit, though I usually let the photos speak for themselves."

"Why have I never met you before?"

I'm surprised by my own audacity.

"I've based myself out of Chicago for the last two years."

He offers nothing further. I guess I'll have to drag answers from him.

"So, that means you live..."

I let my comment hang in the air, hoping he will fill in the blank.

He chuckles softly at my not-so-subtle fishing for information.

"I'm back here now and living with Emmett till I find my own place."

This makes me unexpectedly happy.

Perhaps I will be seeing him again.

Maybe blind dates aren't so bad.

**~xx~**

**EmPOV**

"Come on, Ed, I challenge you to a game of Halo while the girls clean up."

Damn that food was good! I wonder if Rosalie is a good cook. I have every intention of finding out. That woman is so fine. Ah, the things I could do to her...

"Don't you think we should help them clean up?" Edward asks.

I clap a hand on Edward's shoulder, "Trust me, you don't want to be anywhere near Bella when she is in the kitchen."

Edward gives me a confused look, but follows me to the living room.

I'm glad Edward is back in Seattle, I have missed having my brother around, though I would never admit that to him.

I'm totally kicking Edward's ass and thinking about how awesome tonight has gone.

The girls are cleaning up in the other room, so Edward tells me about some Russian chick he banged that was into spanking.

Before I can respond, I see a wine glass flying past Edward's ear, and I hear Bella screaming at the top of her lungs.

I turn in the direction of the yelling to see Rose, holding Bella, who is straining to break loose.

I've never seen Bella like this before. She's absolutely enraged and shrieking at Edward.

"You fucking think it's funny to hit a woman? You think it's some fucking game?"

I can tell by Edward's face, he is totally stunned.

"Get her out of here, Rose. See if you can get her to calm down. I'll be over in a few minutes. Don't let her drink." I issue orders without really thinking. Good thing Bella only lives a few doors down the hall.

Watching Rose drag Bella away, I feel stunned. I can't believe the way this night has turned out. There's going to have to be a lot of damage control.

**~xxxx~**

**A/N: Thanks to all of you that read! Please let me know what you think and hit that little review button:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you to my wonderfully fantastic beta, Justine. You are the jelly to my peanut butter - love ya babe! Thank you also to Alice, Kathie and Twin for all the love and support, I smooch you all! Thank you to all of you that read, it means a lot to me!**

**EPOV**

"What the hell was that, Emmett? Thanks for trying to set me up with some one who is clearly crazy!"

"Don't talk about Bella like that. You don't know what she's been through." "Well then, why don't you fucking enlighten me, Emmett? Since you seem to think she is justified in chucking a glass at my head!"

Emmett is glaring at me and taking several deep breaths - seemingly struggling with what he has to say next. I'm surprised by his apparent loss for words.

"Edward, her ex-husband used to beat her. She is really sensitive to any mention of violence to women. I'm sorry, I should have warned you."

I'm so stunned I can't speak.

I hadn't meant anything by what I said. I certainly wasn't one of those guys who got pleasure from hitting women. I simply smacked a girl on the ass who asked me to.

As the truth of what Emmett said sinks in, I begin to feel really horrible.

Is this how Bella sees me?

Does she think I like hurting women?

My God, she must hate my guts.

There is no way she will ever speak to me again.

I need to apologize.

Emmett's hand grabs my bicep as I make my way to the door.

"I wouldn't go over there right now; she needs a little time to cool off"

"I need to apologize, Emmett."

His grip stays tight.

"Not tonight."

**~xx~**

Sleep is bringing me no peace, only more confusion.

Every time my eyes close, I see nothing but Bella.

I flip on my nightstand lamp and lie staring at the ceiling.

Why can't I get this woman out of my head?

Everything about her plays in my mind – slowly and tortuously. The way her long, mahogany hair cascaded around her shoulders…her beautifully pale, milky skin…the deep, warm brown of her eyes…her full, red, pouting mouth with that little silver ball in the corner. Not to mention the way she sucked it into her mouth all evening.

Just the thought of that little piercing is going to drive me out of my mind. It was so mind blowingly hot it made me want to throw her against the wall and fuck her till she was begging me to stop.

ARGH!

I slide my hands over my face, trying to rub that image from my mind.

What is it about her that makes me want her more than any woman I have ever known?

My fist pounds the mattress in frustration.

First, I need to find away to apologize to her.

This is new ground for me – I have never chased a woman before, they always come to me.

I guess there really is a first time for everything.

**BPOV**

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Rosalie is manhandling me into my apartment and yelling right in my ear.

God, she is treating me like a naughty child.

I pull my arm from her grasp and turn to face her, blazing with fury.

"Get the fuck off me, Rose!"

"No way, Bella! You aren't going to pull this self righteous bullshit on me. You were the one in the wrong and you will apologize."

She is poking me in the chest now, her intensity matching my own.

Really? Scolding me?

Does she honestly think this is the best approach?

"Apologize? Why the hell should I apologize to him?"

Rose drops onto my couch, resting her head in her hands and letting out a long sigh.

"Are you serious, Bella? Can you really _not_ see what you did wrong? Edward made an innocent comment and you tried to assault him."

I am totally dumbfounded - how could she not be taking my side in this?

"Rose, did you not hear what he said? He hit that chick!"

Rose is looking at me like I'm totally insane.

"Are you kidding me, Bella? I wonder if you really heard what he said. He was just talking to Emmett about some girl who _asked_ him to spank her, that's it, Bella. Not every man beats women. You know that, right?"

How dare she throw that in my face like that!

God, I want to slap her.

Who would ever ask someone to hit them?

My subconscious answers me the second I ask that question. Someone who hasn't been beat with in an inch of their life.

Rose's words are starting to seep through my anger.

I don't want to be the one in the wrong.

I can't recall Edward's actual words.

Is it possible that I misjudged him?

I think carefully over what had transpired.

Oh my god! What have I done?

I drop next to Rose on the couch.

I am utterly humiliated!

My rage outweighed my common sense.

I try to dredge up what set me off.

I remember the look on Edward's face as he talked to Emmett - he was clearly happy.

What was he happy about?

Was he remembering that girl fondly?

Was he happy to be hanging out with his brother?

Or did he enjoy the thought of hitting that girl? Which is what I feared.

And that was it.

That's what made me angry.

The thought that he might have enjoyed hitting that girl.

What is this?

Why do I care?

Edward is no one to me.

That thought hurts.

Why?

I am so confused and humiliated.

As soon as Rose leaves, I'm going to drink myself into a stupor. I have too many emotions and thoughts flooding my body. I need to drown them.

**~xx~**

I'm planning to avoid both Emmett and Rose this week. Though, I expect it won't be without difficulty.

I send Emmett a text, telling him I'm not feeling up to boxing this week - which is true; I have a bitch of a hang over.

Emmett says he's disappointed, but he understands.

I hate to let him down, but I'm still too embarrassed to deal with what happened Sunday.

Rose is infinitely harder to avoid.

I text her, too. To which she responded, _No fucking way Bella - you call and explain yourself NOW!_

So, of course, like a dumb ass, I call her.

She is super pissed, telling me I'm in denial and that I need to grow up.

Jeez, you would think I had chucked a glass at her.

**~xx~**

I am actually glad when Wednesday comes - Alice has no idea what happened.

I hurry as I get ready, picking clothes I know Alice will at least tolerate.

I don't need any more grief this week.

Ok, got everything: keys, cell phone, purse, sunglasses.

Out the door.

My foot bumps into a small, plain, black book on the floor with Bella printed in gold on the cover.

What in the world?

Well, I don't have time to look at it now.

I toss the book in my bag and hurry out to my car to meet Alice for a day of shopping.

Alice is her usual chipper, hyper self, bouncing between the clothing racks, pulling out clothes with lightening speed.

"You should really wear more blue, Bella. It's a good color for you."

Oh, Alice. I should have known it wouldn't take long for you to start in on my clothes.

"Noted, Alice."

"Don't give me that 'noted' crap, Bella. We're here to shop, so start shopping."

I can't help laughing as I watch little, tiny Alice haul the huge pile of clothes she has already selected and head toward the dressing room.

I tag along after her with my two shirts and one pair of pants.

It only takes me ten minutes to try on my stuff. Alice on the other hand is still trying things on fifteen minutes after I finish.

I am getting seriously bored watching Alice parade around in all her outfits.

I decide to text Emmett and see what he is up to.

Digging in my bag, I look for my cell, when I come across the black book that was in front of my door this morning.

I had totally forgotten about the book, but now I'm bursting with curiosity.

It is a beautiful book, hard bound, black matte cover with gold-embossed letters spelling my name.

Who would do this?

I open the cover to a white page with, "To Isabella M. Swan," printed in elegant black script.

My interest is definitely piqued.

I turn the page and am surprised to see a glossy black and white photo.

My eyes take in the elegant curve of the scrolling on a metal pillar in the unmistakable shape of an 'S'.

Such a beautiful picture of such a mundane object.

I gingerly turn the next page and my eyes fall on a rustic wagon wheel representing an 'O'.

I'm amazed how at first, I don't see the letter, but once I make it out it is unmistakable.

I turn the page again to see a rusted iron water pump making the shape of an 'R'.

The next page also shows an 'R' on the arm of an ornately carved wooden bench.

I turn the next page to see a beautiful tree with a forked trunk forming a 'Y'.

The last page is another white page with elegant black script spelling out, "From Edward Masen Cullen."

I am blown away - completely stunned, as I stare at Edward's name there in black and white.

"Who is Edward Masen Cullen?"

Alice's voice startles me out of my stunned state.

"Ummm...what? Oh...no one."

Alice is looking at me skeptically.

"No one, huh? A no one who gives you gifts?"

"He's Emmett's brother."

I am still staring at Edward's name as Alice pulls the book from my hand.

"So why is Emmett's brother sorry and sending you gifts?"

I'm honestly not sure what Edward is sorry for. I guess for making me angry.

"Ummm... I think it's for something he said the other day"

I'm still so shocked by Edward's gesture. To go to this much trouble to let me know he is sorry...

He must actually mean it.

And now I feel like the world's biggest bitch.

Here Emmett sets me up with his brother - probably told him nice things about me, because that's how Emmett is - and I go and fuck everything up.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Ooh, better not open that can of worms.

"Earth to Bella. What did he say?" Alice is snapping her fingers in my face to get my attention.

"Huh? Oh...umm...well...um, he said something about spanking some girl - pissed me off."

Alice's eyebrows knit together as she speaks to me.

"Am I missing something here?"

I can feel my face color in embarrassment.

Alice doesn't really know anything about my past. She knew I had been married, but she has no idea that my ex had beat me constantly.

"Alice..." I hesitate slightly, about to reveal a piece of myself.

"My ex husband used to beat me. I took offense to what Edward said...and I...I...threw a glass at him."

Alice just blinked at me and looked from me to the book and back again.

Holy crap. I have rendered Alice speechless. I didn't think that was even possible.

"Bella...I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

Her voice holds the same pity that everyone's does when they find this out about me.

"Well, I don't really like to talk about it Alice."

Alice looks at me in confusion. "Did he know about your ex before he said that?"

"I seriously doubt it."

With lightening speed Alice snaps the book shut and whacks me in the shoulder with it.

"Ow! What the hell is that for?"

"Are you insane, Bella? You're the one who should be apologizing."

I know she's right, but I'm already so embarrassed. How could I possibly face him?

"He seems like he must be a pretty good guy if he went to this much effort to apologize to you."

I nod slowly at Alice.

Edward was very nice – the little bit I had talked to him.

And I did want him to think well of me - which was so confusing.

I'm in utterly new territory.

"I'm not sure how to apologize to him Alice. There is no way I can do it face to face."

Alice hands me the book.

"Play to your strengths, Bella."

Hmmm… My strengths? I can do that.

**~xx~**

I balance the huge tray as I make my way to Emmett's front door.

I'm taking Alice's advice and playing to my strengths. I'm bringing Edward an apology breakfast, and of course some for Emmett, too.

I bend to set the tray down so I can knock and run, but I hear the door open.

Oh my God!

"Edward!"

**~xxxx~**

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you think with a review :) Please check my blog for pictures relating to the story: http:/opalaline-purpletulip(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to my wonderful and beautiful beta, Justine...you are fabulous! Thanks to Alice and Kathie for all your support and thanks to all my readers for staying with me!**

**EPOV**

"Bella!"

I am so shocked to see her standing there her name is all I can manage.

What is she doing here?

I'm trying to think through the fog of sleepiness that is still holding my brain prisoner.

It's so early.

I realize I have said nothing.

I mentally slap myself. Say something, you tool!

"What are you doing here?"

Bella flushes a deep red, which doesn't help me at all.

She looks enticingly adorable with her hair worn in low pig tails that cascade down her chest.

And fuck me! She is sucking that little lip piercing into her mouth again… That thing is going to be the death of me.

"Bella?"

She pushes the impossibly large tray she is holding into my stomach and starts mumbling while she stares at the floor. "I made you an apology breakfast. I wasn't sure what you like so I made a variety of-"

I cut her off immediately.

"Bella, here, let me take that tray. Will you please come in and sit and eat with me?"

I take the tray from her and am surprised to feel how heavy it actually is.

How in the world did she carry this over here?

I step aside, allowing her to enter and then I follow her into Emmett's kitchen.

I try not to check her out as I follow her, though her low riding yoga pants are making it difficult.

I find myself standing across the breakfast bar from Bella. She is tracing patterns in the counter top and I stare at her, willing her to meet my gaze.

I have no idea what to say to this woman. All I can do is watch her. I am enamored by even her most mundane movements.

"Are you going to eat or let everything get cold?"

Bella's voice startles me and I pull myself from my internal ramblings.

"Oh...yeah."

I grab a couple of plates, handing one to Bella and eagerly start pulling lids off dishes.

Wow!

Bella has out done herself – there is so much food.

I helped myself to piping hot scrambled eggs, grabbed a handful of nicely crisped bacon, took a couple hash browns and three slices of french toast.

A small smile plays about Bella's lips. I'm sure I must look like a total pig, but it isn't often I get a hot, home cooked breakfast. It's usually just a bowl of cereal in the mornings for me.

I dig into my food eagerly. Everything is simple, but all so good.

We eat in silence for a few moments before I hear Bella's soft voice.

"Umm... the book...it's beautiful. Thank you."

I swallow my food and take a big gulp of milk before I speak.

"I'm glad you like it. And I do mean it. I had no idea. I never would have... Emmett told me about your..."

"Stop!" Bella has her hand up in a stop gesture and panic and anger is written all over her face.

Part of me wants to duck, just in case she decides to throw her plate at me.

"I don't want to talk about that, Edward."

I nod in acknowledgment, unsure of what to say next.

"Thank you for breakfast. It is wonderful."

Bella smiles again; she really does have the sweetest smile.

"What are your plans for the day?" I ask.

She looks quickly at her watch. "Crap! Actually, I'm late for a meeting with your mother."

"My mother?"

Bella is laughing now. "Yeah, she's my boss, you know. I would like to add some new things to the menu and I kinda need her approval."

Of course! My mom. God, I am retarded today.

"Well, I'm sure I'll see you around, Edward."

"Actually, you won't. I leave for assignment on Saturday and I'll be gone for a month."

"Oh."

I'm surprised to hear disappointment in her voice.

"Umm...I keep a live journal account. It's mostly so my folks can keep up with me, but...if you were interested at all...you could follow my trip."

I can't believe I told her that. Only three people follow my journal and they are all related to me.

"Do you post your pictures on there?"

I'm pleased to hear her ask about my pictures.

"Yeah, some of them."

"It would be interesting to read about your trip, and you take beautiful pictures."

I feel a thrill at her interest in my work.

I write down the information for my live journal account and tell her I look forward to seeing her posts.

**BPOV**

Two days.

This is how long I've been able to wait before stalking Edward's live journal for updates.

I know I'm being unreasonable. I mean, he just got to Mongolia on assignment today. I'm sure he has horrible jet lag and just wanted to go straight to sleep and here I am logging onto his live journal, hoping he will have written something.

Ugh!

I'm so exasperated with myself! I have no idea why I am doing this, but I just can't get Edward out of my mind. It's like I have some damn schoolgirl crush.

I sign into his account and am genuinely surprised by what I see.

His site is loaded with thousands of pictures and hundreds of journal entries. He has been so many places. It's amazing.

His last journal entry is from Siberia.

I read his entry about the frigid beauty of the land, the isolation of the people and their fierce pride.

I am entranced by Edward's amazing descriptions. He writes with such passion. His words are such an insight into who he is.

I quickly find myself lost in his words and the beautiful images that he has captured.

He really is a very gifted photographer.

I scroll through image after beautiful image.

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting, looking at all of his pictures, before I notice a blinking icon on the screen, informing me of a message.

Who would chat with me on here?

I click the icon and see a message from someone named nikon. I open the message not sure what to expect.

nikon: _Is this Bella?_

I hit reply.

chefylady: _Yes. Who is this?_

nikon: _It's Edward, silly. Who else would it be?_

I feel like an idiot. Of course it's Edward.

chefylady: _How was your flight?_

nikon: _Very long and extremely boring._

chefylady: _Sorry - that sucks._

nikon: _Nature of the business. How are you doing?_

chefylady: _Tired. It was a crazy night at the restaurant - tons of people._

nikon: _I bet. Very quiet here._

chefylady: _What time is it there?_

nikon: _8 p.m. on Monday._

chefylady: _Wow! That's a 16 hour time difference._

nikon: _Yeah, the jetlag is killer._

chefylady: _I've been looking through all your pictures._

nikon:_ And?_

chefylady: _They are just beautiful, Edward. You are very talented._

nikon: _Thanks. Any faves?_

chefylady: _Not sure. They are all so good. I would have to look through them again._

nikon: _Let me know if there is one you really like. I could get it blown up and framed for you._

chefylady: _You don't need to do anything like that._

nikon: _It wouldn't be any trouble._

chefylady: _So, what will you be up to tomorrow?_

nikon: _I'll be heading out to a remote village to document the semi-nomadic life of herding families._

chefylady: _Will you be staying with the local people?_

nikon: _Yeah, I'll be staying with a family._

chefylady: _Won't that be really weird?_

nikon: _It is at first, but most people warm up pretty fast._

chefylady: _Edward, I need to go, I'm about to fall asleep while I type._

nikon : _Sorry to have kept you up._

chefylady: _It was nice to talk to you._

nikon: _Yeah. Night Bella._

chefylady: _Goodnight Edward._

**~xx~**

Tuesday again. It's time to see Rose.

I know she is going to want to spend a lot of time talking about feelings this week.

I haven't met with her for two weeks. Not since the incident with Edward.

"How are you today, Bella?"

I consider her question for a moment before I answer her.

"I actually feel really good, Rose." And I'm surprised by the truth in my words.

"You bailed on me the last couple of weeks. Why?"

Classic Rosalie today – no bull shit and straight for the jugular.

"Honestly, I really didn't feel like hearing you chew my ass."

Rosalie stares at me with cold eyes for just a second and then bursts out laughing. "Bella, Bella, I'm glad to hear you be honest. I probably would have chewed your ass last week."

"So, does that mean I'm off the hook?"

"You are. I talked to Emmett and he told me about the breakfast."

"Really? So how often do you talk to Emmett?"

"You're deflecting Bella; we aren't here to discuss who I talk to. Now, how did breakfast go?"

I roll my eyes at her and decide to play nice today.

"It went well. Edward seemed to enjoy everything."

"So, did you actually apologize, Bella?"

"Um, yeah, sorta. I said it was an apology breakfast."

"That's not the same, Bella."

"I think he knew what I was trying to say."

"So you guys wiped the slate clean?"

"Hell, Rose, I don't know. I guess. He's not pissing me off and I'm not throwing crap at him, so I guess we're good. It's not like we have a relationship. I have talked to him a total of three times."

Rose crooks an eyebrow at me, and I realize I just revealed more then I wanted to.

"Three times? So besides dinner the other night and breakfast, when else have you guys talked?"

Man she is nosey. How is this relevant to anything?

I watch Rose tap her manicured nails on her knee as she waits for my response.

I roll my eyes at her and capitulate to her nosiness.

"Edward is out on assignment and we chatted online the other day."

Rose's face shows genuine surprise.

"Is that why you are in is such a good mood today, Bella?"

Am I in a good mood? I don't feel particularly angry about anything, so for me, I guess that constitutes a good mood.

"I don't know?"

"Bella, you know it's okay to like Edward."

Rose is a conversational genius. How does she always do this to me?

I shift uncomfortably in my chair.

"Yeah, I know."

Rose is staring me down.

"And do you like him?"

"I don't know. He is easy to talk to."

"That's great, Bella!"

"Alright, calm down, Rose."

Rosalie continues to question me about my thoughts and feelings concerning Edward.

I am honestly not sure what I think or feel about him.

The only thing I am sure of regarding Edward, is that I'm undeniably attracted to him, but anybody would be - he's gorgeous.

My mind drifts to the morning I had breakfast with him. The way his shirt fit so snugly over his body that I could see every muscle; I am amazed I managed to choke down any food.

Rose and I spend the rest of our session just chit chatting. I think this is the first time I've made it through an entire session without getting angry.

**~xx~**

I collapse onto the bar stool next to Alice. This has been the night from hell.

The last customers finally left at two a.m.

So, here I sit at four a.m., on a bar stool, talking to a very tipsy Alice.

"Alice, what are you still doing here?"

She sways slightly on her stool and looks at me with blurry eyes.

"Bella, I'm so sick of this dating scene. I have the worst luck with guys. Help me."

"You are asking the wrong person, Alice."

"Come on. You have to know someone."

I sigh loudly. "What kinda guy are you looking for?"

"Bella, I want someone who is sweet and thoughtful and funny."

I have never seen Alice like this. She is usually so happy and upbeat. She must be feeling really down.

"I want to fall in love, Bella"

"Why would you ask me to help if you want to fall in love?"

Alice's face suddenly goes red and she looks nervous.

"Ummm, well I...I kind of have a crush on someone you know and I was hoping that..."

I miss the fun, bubbly Alice. I am never going to let her drink again.

She seems to be struggling with what she wants to say next, her gaze is shifting back and forth till it lands on something behind me.

I casually look behind me to see Jasper joking with Emmett.

I look back at Alice, who is looking at her lap.

"Do you mind, Bella?"

"You mean Jasper?"

Alice nods her head minutely.

"Umm, no, but you know that we..."

"Yeah, I know and if it doesn't bother you, then it doesn't bother me."

I can't help but laugh.

"I'll give you his number, Alice."

**~xx~**

Another long day at the restaurant and I'm exhausted.

I throw myself onto my couch and try to will away the headache I can feel approaching.

Man, I need to sleep.

I get ready for bed and gratefully slide between the sheets, grabbing my laptop from my nightstand.

I am unusually happy as I log into Edward's live journal and see that he has left a message for me.

nikon: _Just got back from the remote village. It's nice to be back to a place with showers. Hope you had a good day. I missed talking to you._

Strangely enough, I miss talking to him, too.

I hadn't even realized I'd been looking forward to it all day till now.

I send a quick reply.

chefylady: _Glad you're back. Missed talking to you, too._

I close my laptop and snuggle under my blankets, thinking of impossibly green eyes as I drift to sleep.

**~xx~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think and hit review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thanks to my fabulous beta and friend, Justine. You are the cheese to my cracker! To Alice, Kathie and Twin...I am blessed to have you in my life!**

**~XXXX~  
**

**BPOV**

I hate when I wake up feeling out of sorts, and this is one of those mornings.

I have been feeling on edge for over a week now. It is driving me crazy, and no amount of boxing or booze seem to be helping.

I wonder if sleep deprivation has any part in it.

I stayed up late the last several nights chatting online with Edward; clearly the lack of sleep was affecting my attitude.

I needed to relax. Maybe a nice hot bath would do the trick.

The water feels heavenly as I sink into its steamy depths.

Oh, this is exactly what I need.

I can feel the water starting to relax my muscles.

I indulge in the calm feeling, closing my eyes, allowing my head to rest on the back of the tub.

I feel like I'm in that state between awake and asleep, my brain riding the delightful of semi consciousness.

My brain drifts to Edward. It's no surprise since I've been chatting with him every night for the past two weeks.

I can hear his voice in my head.

Soft, but strong.

Smooth, but with just enough gravel to make it enticingly masculine.

I keep replaying the sound of his voice saying my name.

The way his lips form the "B" and how the "L's" roll so smoothly off his tongue.

I think of his intense gaze and how his enchantingly green eyes smolder, turning my insides to goo.

As the hot water continues to work its magic, my mind continues to focus on Edward.

I think of him touching me, his long, straight fingers skimming over my skin.

I can almost feel his hands on me, tracing the edge of my breasts before deftly brushing his thumbs over my nipples, sending sensation jolting through my body.

My breathing increases and I can feel the heat spreading through my body, radiating out to my limbs.

I try to imagine how his body would feel pressed next to mine, every inch of his skin touching every inch of mine.

I imagine him dragging his full bottom lip up between my breasts and placing heated, open-mouth kisses across my abdomen.

My head swims with dizzying desire as I imagine him going lower, kissing and nipping along the edge of my pelvic bone.

I feel engulfed in flames at the thought of his moist tongue slipping into my warm and waiting folds.

I imagine the taunting strains of pleasure as he circles, licks, sucks and nibbles at my heated core.

I think of his face looking up at me, giving me a sexy, little half smile, knowing what he is doing to me, before lowering his head back to my center.

Overcome with pleasure, I feel myself coming undone.

My body tightens and then releases, all the edginess melting away.

I revel in the high of sexual release, before Edward's face blurs in my mind.

Blinking rapidly, I realize I'm still in my bathtub, one hand gripping the cool ceramic, the other buried between my thighs.

Oh God!

I just got myself off on thoughts of Edward.

I was so caught up in thinking of Edward's hands and his long, lean body I didn't realize I'd been touching myself.

This is so embarrassing!

Jeez, I am pathetic.

Apparently my only problem was rampant horniness.

I sink even further into the water, allowing my head to go beneath the surface.

I am so attracted to him I don't know how I will see him again without giving myself away.

**~xx~**

"Come in here, crazy bitch! What did you bring me?"

Felix never ceases to make me smile. I even grin at the ridiculous nickname he's given me.

"Buttermilk biscuits this week, Fee."

I set the piping hot plate of biscuits in front of Felix and turn my attention to Demetri.

"Is she sleeping?"

I sit on the loveseat next to Demetri and peer at the tow-headed infant he's cradling in his arms.

I'm thrilled for them, they have been waiting two long years to be picked as an adoptive family and their moment is finally here.

"What's her name?"

"Jane"

I honestly wasn't expecting such a plain, old fashioned name, but it seems to suit her.

I hear the doorbell sound and am truly surprised; it's always just the three of us for Sunday brunch.

"Be a love and get that for me, will you?" Felix is waving me towards the door.

I saunter off to answer the insistent ringing, curious to see who is pushing that button so persistently.

"Alice?" And I am nearly knocked off my feet as Alice, the human tornado, rushes past me, talking ninety miles an hour.

"Hey Bella, you look great today. Where's the baby? Have you held her yet?"

I flatten myself to the wall as Alice, and the biggest gift bag I have ever seen, squeeze past me and head straight for Demetri.

Felix is now sitting beside Demetri, his huge arm draped over his partner and baby Jane.

They are the picture of happiness and domestic tranquility.

God, I want that! Not the domestic tranquility, I have no intention of getting married again and I never want children. I want to be happy though. I wish I knew how to be happy.

Alice is like a walking baby store. Sweet, little Jane is going to be the best dressed baby in Seattle.

"You are a complete loon, Alice; she will never wear all these clothes," I say.

"Silence, Bella. You are ruining my fun. Nothing is too good for my favorite employee."

I roll my eyes at Alice's lunacy.

"Demetri is your only employee, Alice."

Alice is unfazed by me pointing out the obvious and waves off my comment like it's irrelevant.

I can't help but laugh.

Oh, Alice, you are simply too much.

The four of us quickly settle into easy conversation over our brunch, and baby Jane is passed from one pair of arms to the next.

After Jane wakes, Alice and I coo over her like a couple of fools. It takes no time at all for Jane to wrap her two "aunties" around her chubby little fingers.

"So I hear our hot bartenders are seeing some new girls?"

Felix is grinning like the Cheshire cat - the man lives for gossip.

"Really?" I am genuinely surprised to hear this.

Felix is practically bouncing out of his chair with excitement over the fresh gossip I clearly know nothing about.

"I can't believe you don't know. Emmett was talking to Jasper last week about some gal and from the way he was talking - he is banging her like a drum, honey."

I'm sure my jaw just hit the floor.

Why the hell hasn't Emmett told me? Who is this woman? I thought he was going to go after Rose. Stupid ass-hat!

"And then I overheard Jasper talking on the phone, and he was setting up a date."

Felix was leaning into me with a conspiratorial air.

"And hon - he looked so happy." He pauses, looking concerned. "Oh sweetie, is this bugging you?"

I laughed out loud.

"Good Lord, no! I'm happy for him, but I would like to know why the mystery girl couldn't tell me herself." I look pointedly at Alice and I'm not sure whose face is funnier - the sheepish look on Alice's face or the shocked one on Felix's face.

"Sorry; I wasn't sure you would really be okay with me going on a date with Jasper."

"Are you kidding me, Alice? I'm the one who gave you his number. I honestly don't care."

And before I can even take my next breath, Alice wraps herself around me and practically sits in my lap.

"I didn't even get a chance to really thank you, Bella. I was so drunk that night, I thought maybe you were just taking pity on me and I didn't even call him for a week cause I felt guilty and oh my God, Bella! When I finally called, him we talked all night. He is so sweet and funny and a gentleman. We've talked for hours every night for the last five days. God, listen to me going on and on; say something, please."

Wow. I don't think Jasper and I had talked that much in the three months we were together.

"That's great, Alice! I'm happy for you - both of you."

Alice hugs me even tighter.

"You're the best, Bella!"

Alice's exuberant display of affection is starting to get embarrassing.

"Alright, you loony midget, get off of me."

Alice bounces away happily and starts chatting up Felix about what she is going to wear for her date while I help Demetri clean up brunch.

**~xx~**

As soon as I step into the boxing ring, I walk up to Emmett and punch him as hard as I can in the stomach.

He grunts, "What the fuck, Swan! Hell of a way to say hello."

I ignore his comment, staring up at him, trying to look as intimidating as my five-foot-four-inch stature will allow.

"I heard you've been gettin' some ass. It better be from Rose cause I will kick you right in the balls if you have been yankin' her chain."

Emmett turns the brightest red I have ever seen, and if I wasn't so damn mad it would be funny as hell.

"Well...ummm, well, since Edward is gone...Rose has kinda been spending the night for the past couple weeks."

"Weeks? What the hell! How come no one told me!"

My voice is all high pitched and whiny and sounds annoying - even to me.

"We wanted to wait a little bit, see how things went with us, before we started telling people we're together."

I narrow my eyes at him. That may have been the most thoughtful sentence Emmett has ever uttered in his life.

"So you guys are an official couple?"

Emmett shifts his weight from foot to foot, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, letting out a deep breath.

"I think I'm falling for her, Bella. Rose is so amazing and not just because of her body, which by the way is fucking fanta..."

"Ok, gross enough. Save the locker room crap for Jasper."

Emmett gives his little boy smile and I roll my eyes at him before I poke him hard in the chest.

"I'm serious about the ball kicking thing though if you break her heart."

Emmett's booming laugh fills the gym causing heads to turn as we start our boxing session.

**~xx~**

I am sitting, waiting for Rose as she comes breezing into our session ten minutes late.

I stand up, putting my hands on my hips and try my best Ricky Ricardo impression. "You got some 'splainin to do."

Rose is usually calm and collected, but right now she is quite flustered.

"Sorry, something came up at the last minute."

Man, she walked right into that one. This is too easy.

"Yes, I'm sure he did."

Rose's face is priceless. First there is complete confusion, and then as my comment sinks in, comprehension.

"How long have you known?"

"Since yesterday. Why didn't you tell me yourself?"

"I don't know, Bella. You are so anti-relationship, I didn't feel like listening to you rain on my parade."

I will admit that stings just a little. Does my attitude really drag the people around me down that much?

"I'm only anti-relationship when it comes to me. They're great for other people."

Rose smiles brightly, curling herself in the chair across from me.

"Rose, am I really that bad?"

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Do I suck the happiness away from those around me?"

Rose sighs deeply, considering my words before she answers.

"Yeah, sometimes you do."

That is a blow.

I had no idea I've been affecting others so much. I don't want to bring my friends down; I want them to be happy.

"Are you happy?"

"I am. I really am."

We are both silent for a few moments before Rose speaks again. "Bella, I want you to make a list for me of the things that make you happy. I want you to list six things."

Six things. Oh, jeez. Do I really have to do this?

"Come on, Bella - this is important."

"Ok. Well cooking, boxing with Emmett, Alice dragging me with her to go shopping, having a drink with you, my Sunday brunches with Felix and Demetri and chatting with Edward."

Rose looks highly amused.

"Does Edward make you happy?"

I think for several minutes.

Does he?

I look forward to his messages.

I've taken to stalking his live journal, hoping to see new posts.

He is on my mind way more often then I like to admit.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Rose smiles, "We have progress."

**~xx~**

Friday night is a mad house at the restaurant. I am making food as fast as the wait staff can bring orders to me.

I'm in a surprisingly chipper mood, and I reluctantly admit that Edward being back from Mongolia might have something to do with that.

I'm actually humming to myself as I sauté veggies and barely notice that one of the waiters is trying to catch my eye.

"Chef Swan. Table four would like to meet you."

"Alright, thanks ummm... What's your name again?"

"Eric, ma'am"

"Oh right, Eric. Thanks, I'll be right out."

I wipe my hands and toss my soiled apron on the counter.

"Hey Ang, I'll be back in a sec; keep a lid on things here."

Angela is a great sous chef; I can always count on her to do what needs to be done.

I have to squeeze and weave my way through the restaurant because there are so many people.

There's wait staff all around the table I am headed to. Must be a birthday.

I push my way between two waitresses, see the guest, and my entire body freezes.

My brain shuts down and my vision goes red.

**EmPOV**

"Bella! Bella! Wait!"

Crap! She can't hear me over all the noise.

The look on her face is something I've never seen before.

Something is seriously wrong. God, her eyes – they're haunted like she's just seen a ghost.

I know she's going to run, but I'm too swamped at the bar to leave.

Scanning the crowd, I look for one of the waiters. "Ben! Hey Ben – come here! Hey man, I need you to get Felix for me now. It's an emergency!

I watch Ben run to the host station to get Felix.

I hate asking Felix for help with this, but someone needs to get to Bella. She looks inhuman. God only knows what she'll do.

I want to call Rose, but I know she's out of town, so I'll have Felix call my apartment and pray my brother is still awake.

"What's the nine-one-one, honey?"

"Felix, what happened to Bella?"

"I don't know." Felix is starting to look really worried.

"Shit! Something had to have happened. I need you to do two things for me. First, call my place, see if you can get a hold of my brother. His name is Edward. Tell him to go to Bella's place and check on her. Second, find out who the fuck she was talking to out there."

**EPOV**

"What?"

Who the fuck is calling at one a.m. ?

I listen as the man on the phone explains who he is and the sleepy fog quickly clears from my brain as soon as I hear the words Bella and trouble.

I slam the phone back down and hurry to put on something besides boxers.

Surely Emmett is over reacting; Bella can't be in any real danger can she?

**~xx~**

I slam my fist against Bella's door. "Bella! It's Edward. Are you in there?"

No sound.

I bang again.

Still nothing.

I try the knob and to my surprise, it turns.

It's dark as I crack the door and walk in.

"Bella?"

I listen and hear some quiet sniffling.

It's difficult to know where I am headed because it's so dark.

I fumble along the wall, searching for a light switch.

The sudden light stings my eyes for a moment till they focus.

The sight before me steals the breath from my lungs.

"Oh God! Bella!"

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you lovely readers! Please leave your thoughts with a review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you to my fabulous beta and friend, Justine - I couldn't do this without you! To Alice and Kathie, thank you for your never ending support! Thank you to my lovely readers for sticking with me!**

**EPOV**

I don't know what to make of the scene before me. I just know I need to get to Bella.

I walk carefully over the sea of glass that lies between me and Bella's balled up form.

God! What happened here?

It looked like every object in Bella's apartment had been thrown against the wall. Broken picture frames litter the floor. Pieces of dishes and glasses are in piles against the walls, all shattered. There are pages ripped out of books scattered all around, covering the floor like a blanket over the shards of glass.

I kneel next to Bella, not sure what to do or say. I reach out my hand to touch her arm.

She is trembling and rocking from side to side.

"Bella?" I keep my voice soft, not wanting to upset her further.

She is mumbling incoherently as she rocks. I can't really make out her words except for one. James.

Who the fuck is James? Did he follow her up here? Is he the one who tore apart her apartment?

I swear, if someone laid a hand on her, I will kill them.

I gently brush back the hair that is covering her face and gasp.

Her face, while still beautiful, is like something from a horror film. Her eyes are open, but completely dead. I've never seen anything like it in my life. They are wide, glazed, unblinking orbs.

I can tell she must have been crying at some point because her eyes are also puffy and bloodshot.

"Bella? Can you hear me?"

Nothing.

Her lips continue moving, mumbling words I can't hear, and her unblinking eyes continue staring, apparently unseeing.

I scoop Bella's thin frame into my arms so I can see if she is injured.

She doesn't stir at all, but in moving her, I can see that there are small cuts all over hands and forearms. I notice that a few of the cuts look deep. I really need to get her to a hospital, but first I am going to call my father and have him meet us there. I want Bella to have the best care and my dad is a damn good doctor.

I grip Bella tightly with one arm, so I can reach my pocket with the other. Fishing my cell from my pocket, trying not to jostle Bella too much, I dial my father's number.

"Hey Dad, it's Edward. A friend of mine is hurt; do you think you could meet us at the hospital?"

A sharp tug on my shirtfront demands my attention and I drop my gaze.

Bella has one of her bloody hands fisted in my shirt and she is staring at me with a maniacal glint in her eyes. "No hospitals. I don't want anyone to know...no one can know."

Her eyes are frantic and worried.

What does she mean no one can know? Know what? All of these unanswered questions are threatening to drive me insane!

I pull her tightly to my chest and press my lips to her hair.

"Shhhhh, it's ok Bella - no hospitals. I promise."

She calms immediately and I try not to feel the small thrill that races through me when I see her visibly relax in my arms and lean her head on my shoulder.

"You still there, Dad? Yeah, could you just meet us at Emmett's and bring a suture. Yeah, see ya in a few."

There is no way we are staying in her apartment. I'll take her over to Emmett's.

**BPOV**

What is all this annoying noise?

Whispering voices fill my head; everything is so groggy, like I'm hearing things under water.

I just want the voices to shut up so I can go back to sleep.

"Edward, it's not my place to tell you about her past."

Rose? Why the hell is Rose in my bedroom?

Ugghhh, I feel awful. Was I drinking last night? I feel so weird and weighed down.

"I was the one who was there last night, Rose! I think I deserve some explanation."

Edward? This makes no sense. Why are Rose and Edward in my bedroom?

Dreaming. That's it, I must be dreaming.

"Will the two of you shut up, you're gonna wake Bella up."

Alice is here, too? Maybe I'm not dreaming, but why would my friends be in my room?

I concentrate on opening my eyes.

Everything is a little hazy as I look around, and my room looks off, different.

I blink several times, clearing my vision.

Where the hell am I? This isn't my room. And what the hell are all my friends doing in here?

Now I know I'm dreaming or I've gone insane and am hallucinating.

"Dudes, we've been spotted."

Eight pairs of eyes look at Emmett before landing on me.

It's like a show down. They all stare at me, and I at them, waiting to see who will make the first move.

A middle-aged blond man makes the first move. I recognized him as Esme's husband, but I can't remember his name.

"Bella, I'm Carlisle Cullen; I'm a doctor. Is it okay if I take your vitals?"

I nod my head slightly.

I'm so confused. Why am I being examined by a doctor and why is everyone looking at me in concern?

"No fever and your pupils look normal, so no concussion. How do your hands feel?"

My hands? Actually they hurt – a lot.

"They're sore. What happened to me?"

Carlisle exchanges a concerned look with Edward, but it's Emmett who speaks up.

"Something happened last night at the restaurant, no one knows what, but I saw you leave. Your face...I knew it was bad, that something was really wrong. I had Felix call Edward to check on you...he found you."

Found me?

I looked to Edward with questioning eyes.

He sighs heavily before speaking, "I found you on the floor of your apartment. The whole place had been torn apart. There was glass everywhere. You had cuts all over your hands so I called my dad and he came to patch you up."

"Was I unconscious?"

I must have been; I can't remember a thing from last night.

"No, you spoke a little," Edward says hesitantly.

I can tell from the look on his face it wasn't anything good. "Well what did I say?"

"You said you didn't want to go to the hospital and you kept mumbling something about someone named James." Edward eyes me, looking for an answer.

Oh, God.

The whole night comes slamming back to me like a sledge hammer to the head.

I can see it all so clearly now.

I remember Eric coming to tell me that a table had requested to see the chef. This had been no surprise to me; people do that all the time. I remember making my way through the restaurant. The table I headed to was obscured from my view by the wait staff singing happy birthday to someone named Victoria. I remember poking my head between two waiters and feeling the bottom fall out of my stomach. I remember the feeling of nausea as my eyes clamped onto my ex-husband, who was having a happy and lively dinner with someone that appeared to be his girlfriend and…my parents! I remember the rage boiling under the surface of my skin. How could my own parents still associate with James? After all he put me through, the years of horrendous abuse, and there they sat talking happily with the monster they used to call son-in-law. It was too much; my rage had been on the verge of controlling me, but I managed to make my way back to my apartment.

I can feel my face color in embarrassment as I recall what happened to my apartment. I remember ripping things off my walls and slamming them with all my strength onto the ground, tables, anything. I grabbed every glass and dish in the cupboard, hurling them with all my of all, I remember crying, violent sobs wracking my body, causing me to collapse, spent from emotion, my hands catching my body as I fell, forcing glass into my skin.

There is nothing after that. I don't remember Edward coming into my apartment. I don't remember talking to him or having Carlisle fix up my hands.

"Bella?"

Edward's voice surprises me from my reverie and I lift my eyes to meet his.

His beautiful eyes are full of concern.

"Would you like me to call the police?"

This is so humiliating. He thinks someone broke into my place.

"Ummm, could you all just give me a few minutes? I'm a bit overwhelmed."

"I'll come back tomorrow, Bella, to check on your hands. I left some pain pills on the nightstand; just call me if you need more," Dr. Cullen informs me.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

Esme comes to my side and wraps me in a motherly hug.

"I want you to take a few weeks off, Bella. No arguing. I already talked to Angela; she has no problem taking care of things."

A couple of weeks? What the heck would I do with myself?

"Esme, I..."

"No arguing, Bella! I don't want to hear that you have been anywhere near the restaurant."

Esme is the sweetest woman alive, but when she has set her mind to something, it is best not to cross her.

I don't know who decided to call practically everyone I know and have them standing here watching me, but I really don't like it. I just need to be alone right now.

"Hey crazy, you're going to come over to our place and stay with us for a couple days."

Normally Felix's pet name for me doesn't bother me, but today I actually feel a little crazy, so there is a bit of a sting to it.

"I can't impose on you guys. My place is just fine."

Felix waves off my comment. "You aren't imposing, you're like family, Bella."

All this attention is making me feel guilty. Clearly I have caused everyone to worry when they don't need to.

Emmett throws his two cents in, "Yeah, Bella, there is no way you can stay at your place, it is totally trashed. You should really let Edward call the cops."

I give Emmett a look that tells him he needs to drop it and he shuffles out of the room behind Felix.

Alice is the next to approach me.

She squeezes my knee lightly. "I'm here if you want to talk about it."

I nod in acknowledgment of her offer, but I think she knows it won't happen. I flash Alice a small smile as she leaves with her hand clasped tightly in Jasper's.

They are an adorable couple.

Rose and Edward are still standing in the room. I can tell by Rose's stance she has no intention of leaving.

"Would it be alright if I stayed for a bit and talked to you?" I am surprised by how soft Edward's voice is - almost like he's afraid.

I know he must have questions for me. Lord only knows what he must think.

"Yeah, it's okay."

Rose's eyes widen in surprise. I almost want to laugh.

"It's okay, Rose. I'll talk to you on Tuesday."

She throws me one more surprised look over her shoulder before walking out of the room.

Now I'm in this strange room – alone - with Edward.

His movements are slow and graceful as he grabs the chair from a steel and glass desk in the corner and sets it next to the bed, lowering himself carefully, never once taking his eyes off me.

I scoot myself up into a sitting position, resting against the black leather headboard.

I'm not sure what to say to him.

His body language is nervous, which is making me nervous.

His knee is bouncing a constant rhythm and one hand is running through his hair, tugging the ends.

"Edward?"

His jaw is clenched tightly and I'm a little worried about what he might say to me.

"Why won't you let me call the police, Bella?"

I close my eyes for a moment, trying to escape his intense gaze. "It isn't necessary, Edward."

He looks angry and I'm shocked by how much this upsets me. I don't want him to be angry with me.

"Bella, if someone attacked you in your home we need to..."

"It wasn't like that. It was my fault."

He eyes me suspiciously, and I can tell he thinks I'm covering up something.

I sigh heavily; I might as well fess up to this humiliation.

"I did it Edward. It was me."

His face goes blank for a split second and then is replaced by complete shock. I can see him struggling for words.

"Why?" His voice is choked and it actually pains me to hear him like that.

I drop my gaze; I don't want to see the horror that surely must be on his face. "I was angry."

It feels like an eternity before Edward speaks, though I know it is really only a few seconds. "Was it James?"

"Yes."

"Did he hurt you, Bella?"

How do I even begin to answer this?

James hurt me in more ways then I can even begin to describe to Edward. I don't want Edward to know all my secrets. Nobody knows all of them. I have to tell him something, so I decide on the truth or at least a very tiny piece of it.

"Yes, but not last night. Edward, James is my ex-husband."

I chance a glance up at Edward's face. He really seems to be struggling with what to say next. He opens his mouth to speak several times, only to close it again.

"Why didn't you come talk to me? I would have listened if you needed to talk."

He is so sweet, but I could never burden him with my fucked up past.

"I want to be your friend, Bella, and friends talk to each other."

"I am your friend, Edward, but everyone has their secrets. I'm sure you have some, too."

"No, actually I don't. You can ask me anything and I will tell you the truth."

I don't really believe him. Everyone has secrets.

I can see a million questions written on his face and I pray he won't ask any of them.

"So was he there last night, at the restaurant?"

I wish he would just let this go, but I know I'm not that lucky. "Yes."

"Did he say something to you that set you off?"

He just doesn't understand. James didn't have to say a word to make me feel blind with rage. Even sitting here now, I can feel the sting of James's belt across my body and hear his sick laughter in my mind. A shudder passes through my body.

"No, he didn't have to."

"How bad was it, Bella?"

"I think we have talked enough for today, Edward."

That is my line and he just crossed it.

I feel a little bad for the disappointed look on his face, but this is a line of questioning I refuse to allow.

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

Jeez, he is relentless and I'm sure I must sound like a snotty bitch as I answer him.

"What is it?"

"I would like to take you out. Would that be alright?"

Now I'm the one who is shocked. "Like on a date?"

He nods his head.

I'm struck completely dumb. I can't even remember the last time I went on an actual date. I have been the hook-up-with-a-guy-at-a-bar kinda girl for a couple of years now.

"Edward, you don't want to go on a date with me; I'm not a nice person."

He leans in close to me so that his face is only inches from my own. I can smell his deliciously masculine scent and I swear my mouth is watering.

He is so close I can feel his warm breath whisper across my skin and his eyes are level with mine, boring into me with their glorious green magic. "I'm a big boy, Bella. I think I can judge for myself if you are a nice person or not. Please say yes."

How can I say no with him sitting here staring at me like that, I swear his eyes have some kind of magic power cause despite my better judgment I find myself nodding yes.

His smile is broad now and I can't help but smile back.

I don't know what to say next, so I just say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Ummm, where am I exactly?"

"Oh man, I'm sorry, Bella! I should have said something sooner. You're in my room."

I look around with interest. So this is Edward's room... He has very sophisticated taste.

Everything has very modern, sleek lines and a cool color palette of blues, grays and black. It's a very calming room and I'm quite comfortable here, which I find a bit embarrassing.

"Well, I should go and let you get some more rest."

I watch as he puts the chair back at the desk and turns to go.

"Edward, thanks for being there for me."

Stepping back beside the bed, he sits on the edge and looks me right in the eye. Taking me completely by surprise, he leans forward and wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug.

His proximity is turning my brain to mush. The only thing I can focus on is the feel of his sculpted chest pressed tightly against my breasts.

"Anytime, Bella. Never hesitate to call me if you need me."

He releases me much quicker then I would like. I can't believe how comfortable his arms felt, it's been years since a man had held me like that.

"I'll pick you up on Friday at six, okay?"

I nod to him and watch him walk out the door.

There is no way I'll be able to fall asleep now. I can still feel his warm, hard body against me and smell his wonderful scent all over me.

I'm going to need to take another bath.

**~xx~**

My week feels like it is literally flying by.

It's already Friday, and I'm trying not to count down the time till Edward comes to pick me up.

I sit and think about the past week; it's been a crazy, emotional week for me.

Monday was a hard day. Emmett, Edward and Rose had gone over to my place with me to help clean up.

I was shocked at the level of destruction I had caused and felt so embarrassed and ashamed the whole day that I almost canceled my date with Edward, but I just didn't have the heart to do it. He spent hours on Monday helping me sweep tons of glass and pick up broken frames and shredded books. I would go on this one date to thank him for his kindness.

Tuesday had been absolutely horrible. Of course Rose wanted to go deep into my anger issues and I resisted her every step of the way. Needless to say, it just caused a big fight and we both ended up saying things we didn't really mean. Thinking back, I feel bad about how rude I'd been to her and I know I will need to apologize to her in the future.

Wednesday was a better day. I told Alice about my date with Edward and she was so excited I thought she might actually come out of her skin. Of course we spent the entire day shopping. Alice insisted that I needed to buy a new outfit and I caved to her, picking out a pair of charcoal trousers and a royal blue cashmere v-neck top.

Thursday wasn't too bad either. I spent the day with Felix, Demetri and baby Jane at the park. It was fun; they really did make me feel like part of the family.

So now here I am.

It's a quarter to six and I am anxiously waiting for Edward to come and pick me up.

I feel like I'm fifteen, waiting to go out on my very first date.

Clearly this is not my first date, but it has been a long time.

James was actually the last man I had gone on an official date with, so to say my nerves are on edge would be a bit of an understatement.

Not that I believe Edward is anything like James, but I had never thought James would turn out to be a monster when we were dating – he saved that for after we were married.

Argh!

I need to stop thinking this way. I don't want James in my mind while I'm out with Edward.

I hurriedly change my train of thought. I want to be in a good mood tonight.

I begin to think of Edward and the way his body felt when he hugged me. I could tell that he was quite strong, but he had hugged me so gently, like I was made of glass or something.

I think of those insanely green eyes and the way they make me feel.

Dang! Is it getting hot in here?

"Bella?"

Felix's voice jolts me out of my daydream and I immediately start blushing.

Edward is standing right inside the front door with a look of amusement on his face.

I'm so embarrassed I could just crawl into a hole and die. Caught daydreaming with the subject of my dream standing ten feet away.

Great, Bella, way to be an idiot.

Now I really feel like I'm in junior high. Felix and Demetri are looking at me like a couple of proud parents sending their baby out for the first time. I'm half expecting them to whip out a camera and start taking pictures.

Edward steps toward me so that he is now just inches in front of me and holds his hand out to me.

I place my hand gently in his and the feel of his skin on mine does glorious things to my body, sending jolts of tingling energy everywhere.

"You ready, Bella?"

Man, he looks good, even hotter then normal. The light gray slacks and sport coat he is wearing fit perfectly on his tall, lean frame and the off-white button-down shirt hugs his chest in a tantalizing way.

I nod my head to let Edward know I'm ready. I don't trust my voice right now; I'm sure it would come out all high and squeaky.

"You kids have fun."

Felix is enjoying this way too much. He is annoyingly obsessed with other people's dating lives.

Edward gives Felix the cutest cheeky wink. "Will do."

Edward never releases my hand but instead pulls me along beside him. I like the feel of my hand in his and I smile to myself as he leads me out the door to his car.

He opens up the passenger door for me and I step in, settle myself in the seat and watch Edward stride around the front of the car. His car roars to life and he maneuvers it with ease into the Friday night traffic.

We ride in silence for several minutes before I finally break the silence. "So where are we going?"

Edward's face breaks into a heart-stopping mischievous grin. "It's a surprise."

I'll admit, I'm a bit worried. As a general rule I'm not big on surprises.

I'm even more surprised when Edward pulls onto the freeway and heads out of town.

Where in the world is he taking me?

I can't think of a thing to say. Why is it so much harder to talk to him in person?

I find myself watching Edward as he drives.

He really is amazingly handsome.

Not all men can pull off the scruffy I-haven't-shaved-for-three-days look, but Edward -wow, this is really his look, he makes scruff look damn good.

His hair is the riot of cooper that it has been every time I have seen him and I wonder if he ever actually brushes it or just rolls out of bed and leaves it that way. Not that I'm complaining…he has really sexy hair.

Edward's eyes shift from the road to me and he catches me while I'm ogling him and he laughs.

Damn, caught again. This man is way too easy to get lost in.

Before too long we are pull off the highway and into an affluent suburban neighborhood,into the circular driveway of a beautiful, white colonial style home.

What the hell?

Edward is out of the car as soon as he cuts the engine and comes to open my door.

Once again, he holds out his hand to me and I take it, allowing him to help me from the car.

To my surprise, we aren't headed to the front door, Edward is leading us around the side of the house toward the backyard.

I'm speechless when we round the corner of the house and my eyes fall on a white, wooden gazebo housing a table and two chairs.

I'm frozen in place. This is such a romantic gesture; I thought this was going to be a casual date.

Edward turns toward me as I stop. "What's wrong, Bella?"

What do I say?

"Edward, where are we?"

His face turns ever so slightly pink. "This is my parents' house. I hope it's okay. I know you don't like to eat in restaurants, so I thought you might be more comfortable eating someplace where you know the cook."

"You mean, we're eating here?"

Edward looks a little bashful; like he is afraid I'm upset.

"Ummm, yeah, I ordered food from the restaurant. Angela made it. I thought you would be comfortable with her cooking."

I'm blown away by Edward's genuinely sweet gesture. No one has ever done anything this endearing for me.

"Edward...this is amazing! I can't believe you did all this."

Edward's face breaks into a huge grin as he leads me toward the table and pulls my chair out for me.

Everything is beautiful! From the taper candles on the table to the twinkling white lights around the gazebo - Edward has outdone himself.

I pull off the silver lid that covers the food in front of me to find my favorite mushroom ravioli and a spinach salad.

"Angela said this is your favorite and my mom got this all set up."

"Thank you so much, Edward. This is lovely."

Edward's answering smile is dazzling and I'm pretty sure I sigh out loud.

We slip into easy conversation, though my side of the conversation is seriously lacking because Edward is using his green-eyed magic on me, dazzling my brain.

He surprises me by sliding his hand across the table and taking my hand in his.

"I'd like to say something to you, Bella."

Edward's face is serious and he isn't looking at my face. Instead he's studying my hand, turning it over and over in his.

The visual of my hand in his almost makes me laugh, his hands are so large and mine are so small, it looks like he is holding the hand of a child.

His eyes move slowly up to mine and my breath catches in my throat as he looks deeply into my eyes.

How does he do that? How does he make me feel I'm coming apart at the seams with just one look?

"I like you, Bella."

"I like you, too, Edward."

"Bella, I would really like to date you."

What?

I start to pull my hand away from his. "Edward...I..."

His grip on my hand tightens, enclosing my hand in his.

"I know you don't usually date, Bella, but I'm hoping you'll change your mind."

Wow! What do I say to that?

I know I should say no, but the look on his face, half pleading, half pure smoldering hotness, is more then I can take.

I nod a small yes and watch as Edward's eyes take on a new light and his lips turn up into that adorably sexy half smile of his.

He raises my hand to his lips and gently kisses my fingertips, sending tingling waves up my arm.

"Thank you, Bella."

The evening passes quickly and Edward is drives me back to Felix and Demetri's house.

Once again, I watch him as he opens my door and takes my hand, leading me to the front door.

"Thank you so much, Edward. I had a great time."

And here we stand on the stoop, beneath the porch light, like a cliché teenage movie-but there is nothing cliché about the way Edward looks at me. His eyes really do hold some magic green fire and I find that I can't look away from them.

"May I kiss you, Bella?"

My voice is barely a whisper, "Yes."

His movements are slow and deliberate.

One hand stays clasped around mine, the other finds its way to my face and cups my cheek in his palm.

His lips brush mine softly, sending jolts of energy through my body. I react without thought and inch closer to him.

Edward increases the pressure of his lips on mine causing a low hum to sound in my throat.

He smiles into our kiss before breaking away.

I wish I was at my own place so I could invite him in because I would very much like to continue kissing him.

He gives my hand one final squeeze. "I'll call you tomorrow, Bella."

I watch him stride back to his car and know that it will be a long time before I will be able to sleep. I know those fiery green eyes and satiny smooth lips will be dominating my thoughts tonight.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you for reading, please leave me your thoughts with a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thanks to my dear friend and beta, Justine! You are the olive to my martini! Alice, Kathie and Twin...'the girls' love you all in more ways then I can count! Thanks to everyone that reads and reviews, I appreciate each of you!**

**~XXXX~**

**EPOV**

I roll over with a sigh. I am never going to fall asleep. I have been laying here, staring at the ceiling for an hour. I can't stop thinking of Bella; she was so beautiful tonight, it was all I could do to be a gentleman and not take her in my arms and crush her to my body. I am driving myself insane thinking of Bella.

I punch my pillow several times, trying to make it more comfortable in hopes that I might fall asleep.

I continue to toss and turn for another half hour. I give up!

Nothing is working. I might as well just get up.

I flip open my laptop and log into my live journal. I haven't posted about my trip home yet.

As soon as the page loads, I notice the icon in the corner that says there is one user online.

My curiosity is piqued.

Emmett is still at work, so I know it's not him, and I doubt my parents are up this late. That only leaves one other person... Yep, Bella is online.

nikon: Bella?

I roll my eyes at myself,feeling stupid – who else would it be?

Idiot.

chefylady: Umm...yeah... Hi.

I bet she's blushing while she is typing. The thought of her skin tinged a delicate pink goes straight to my dick.

Get a grip Cullen, you're only talking online.

nikon: Couldn't sleep?

chefylady: No.

Great, now what do I say? Do I ask why she's on my live journal at one a.m.?

Do I dare to hope that she got on looking for me?

nikon: So...I had a great time tonight.

chefylady: So did I.

nikon: Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

chefylady: No.

nikon: Would you like to do something together?

chefylady: Like what?

nikon: My folks have season tickets to the Mariners - wanna go?

chefylady: Sure, that sounds great.

nikon: I'll pick you up around eleven thirty.

chefylady: Okay, can't wait

nikon: I guess I better get some sleep before the game tomorrow…or…later today.

chefylady: Okay, Edward. Goodnight.

nikon: Goodnight Bella.

**~xx~**

I'm standing at Bella's door. It's only eleven o'clock. I know I told her eleven thirty, but I just couldn't wait any longer.

As soon as the doorbell rings, Bella answers the door. I almost pass out when I lay my eyes on her.

Her clothes aren't really sexy per se, but they are damn sexy on her – snug jeans, a plain white tee, and her hair up in a ponytail, pulled through a Mariners baseball cap.

How does she look like the hottest woman alive in such simple clothes?

"Hey, you ready?"

"Yes."

I grab Bella's hand and pull her closer to me so our arms are touching as we walk to my car and, to my delight, she makes no move to take her hand from mine.

**~xx~**

"Edward, these are great seats!"

"Thanks. My dad loves basebal; he's been getting season tickets since I was twelve. If he wasn't on call he would probably be here this afternoon."

We settle into our seats as the game starts. I take a chance and throw my arm over Bella's shoulder. Well, she didn't smack my hand away, so I guess that's a good sign. She's actually snuggled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder.

It feels so good having her against me. All I want to do is crush her to me, so I can feel her delightful little body pressed to mine. I behave myself though and am content with just resting my hand lightly on her upper arm.

The game is passing quickly and I'm barely paying attention to what is going on – I simply can't pull my eyes from Bella.

"Did you want to go?"

I blink several times, trying to process Bella's question.

"No, why?"

"Ummm, well...you aren't watching the game Edward...so I just thought maybe...never mind."

Bella is clearly flustered, which just increases her appeal.

"I'm a bit distracted."

"Oh?"

I feel the color seep into my own face - do I admit what has me so distracted?

Bella has her eyebrows knit together, awaiting my answer.

"You are very distracting, Bella."

"Oh!"

Her face is deep red now and I lean over to whisper in her ear, my lips brushing against her, "You are welcome to distract me anytime you like."

She cocks an eyebrow at me and she has a devilish smile on her face. "Hmmm... Is that a challenge?"

Wow! Feisty, playful Bella. I can tell this woman is going to keep me on my toes.

I press my lips to her temple quickly and finally turn my attention to the game.

Not even ten minutes have passed and I feel pressure on my leg. I look down to see Bella's small hand on my thigh. I watch her hand as she slides it ever so slightly up my leg and gives a little squeeze.

I'm hard immediately. Sitting in jeans and hard-ons don't mix.

I shift, hoping Bella doesn't notice.

I peek at her from the corner of my eye, she is wearing a huge smirk; she knows what she's doing to me.

She continues moving her hand on my leg in a slow rhythm and I swear my dick twitches every time her hand moves up my leg.

My god, I'm pathetic. She is only touching my pants, but her warm hand is leaving a trail of heat on my leg and it is driving me out of my mind!

It's the bottom of the eighth, and I'm more than ready to get out of here.

I move my hand off Bella's shoulder and place it over her hand on my leg, trapping her hand in mine and whisper in her ear again, "Let's get out of here."

I pull Bella up and hurry out. She has to take little jogging steps to keep up with my long stride.

As soon as we reach my car, I lean Bella back against the passenger door, taking her face in my hands, pressing my lips and body against her.

Her response is immediate. She slides those hot hands up my biceps to my shoulders and pulls herself even closer to me. I don't need a second invitation. She wants more...so do I.

I open my mouth against hers and run my tongue along her bottom lip. She opens her mouth to me, allowing my tongue in to slide against hers.

Shit!

I thought last night's kiss had been amazing, but it was nothing compared to this.

She moans softly into my mouth, and my erection twitches, almost painfully, against the denim of my jeans.

No other woman has ever affected me like this. They have all had to work a lot harder to turn me on.

Not Bella, it's effortless for her. I swear all she has to do is breathe and I'm ready to go.

As much as I am enjoying the feel of her perfect body pressed to mine, I know I need to stop before I end up ravishing her in my car.

I savor her for a few more moments before breaking away. As soon as my lips leave hers, I want them back on hers again.

My eyes meet hers and she smiles widely. I hope that means she enjoyed the kiss as much as I did.

I help her into my car, then jog around to hop into my seat. I grab her hand and give it a squeeze. "You wanna get a drink?"

She nods and I'm relieved. I want to keep spending time with her, but I know I can't take her back to Emmett's place. There is no way I'll be able to keep my hands off her if we are alone.

Bella really is like no other woman I've ever met. I want to do things right with her. I want it to mean something.

I give Bella a small smile as my car roars to life and we take off down the road.

**BPOV**

I'm trying not to let the huge grin I feel inside spread to my face. I don't think it is working though.

I should have known Edward would be an amazing kisser.

Gah!

I can still feel the tingle of his lips on mine and the ghostly sensation of his tongue caressing my own. I press my fingers to my mouth, wishing I could hold onto Edward's kiss.

I already want to kiss him again. I've never had a man stir so much desire in me before from just a kiss. I can't even imagine if he had touched more than my face or done more than press his deliciously hard body to mine. I probably would have attacked him in the parking lot. Just the thought of ripping off his clothes is making me squirm in my seat. I press my thighs together for some much needed pressure. I really hope he doesn't notice my fidgeting.

I glance over at him right as he looks at me and gives me a panty melting half-grin... He is going to be the death of me.

Edward pulls up in front of a little restaurant down by the docks. I'm amused by his choice. I can actually eat in this restaurant. I'm friends with the owner.

As soon as I'm out of the car, Edward has my hand. I could really get used to the feel of my hand in his.

I know I'm spotted as soon as we walk in the door. Bree, the hostess rushes up to me and crushes me in a hug. "Bella! I haven't seen you in forever. What have you been up to?"

I give Bree an awkward one-armed hug as Edward still has me by the hand.

"Yeah, work has been keeping me busy. Can we get the corner table by the windows?"

Bree eyes me with curiosity. I've never been here with a guy before and I usually sit at the bar.

"Sure, Bella. Follow me."

We follow her to the far corner of the restaurant and sit down at the table surrounded by windows that overlook Puget Sound.

"Thanks, Bree."

She nods and replies, "I'll let Kate know you're here.

Edward is smiling widely at me from across the table.

"So I guess we can eat?"

I laugh, just because Edward seems so excited about eating.

"Yeah, we can eat. I went to culinary school with the chef, Kate. How did you know about this place?"

Edward blushes slightly – wow - I never thought a man would look good blushing, but he does. Though I have the feeling he could make anything look good.

"Emmett told me this is one of the places you will eat."

I'm a little taken aback by this. I never thought of Edward and Emmett discussing me.

"So you've been talking to Emmett about me?" I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but I think some is still seeping through.

Edward looks me square in the eye as he speaks, "No, I was just asking about places you are willing to eat. I wanted to be able to take you on a real date.

Oh! Now it's my turn to blush.

"I liked our date last night."

Edward leans across to me, his lips so close to mine I can almost taste them, his eyes burning into mine.

"So did I."

His warm breath washes over me and I can't help but close my eyes as his lips meet mine. This kiss is soft and sweet, but it still makes every nerve in my body sing. I've never felt anything like this before. I feel like an instrument and he knows exactly the right way to play me.

I'm so lost in his kiss I don't notice anyone standing next to our table till I hear a throat clear. My eyes fly open and I see Kate standing behind Edward. Her eyes are twinkling at me and she is fighting hard to suppress a laugh. I pull away from Edward and I feel the color pool in my face.

"Well, well, Bella, this is new. Who is the lucky guy?"

"Hey Kate, this is Edward..."

"I'm the boyfriend."

Boyfriend?

I mull the word over in my head. Is that what Edward considers himself? We've only had two dates.

Wow!

This is...is...I'm not even sure what I think. It's been so long since I had a boyfriend. I hardly considered James my boyfriend before I married him.

"Nice to see ya with a guy again, Bella. I thought maybe that bastard of an ex-husband of yours had put you off men forever."

I'm going to kill Kate! Could this be anymore embarrassing?

"Ha ha, real funny, Kate; don't you have cooking to do?"

"Alright I can take a hint. You two love birds enjoy your dinner."

Kate laughs as she walks away and I seriously consider throwing a spoon at the back of her head.

I grab my menu and start looking it over, trying to ignore Edward's gaze that is raking over me.

"Bella. Will you please look at me?"

I'm really trying to ignore him, but he is using that sexy, pleading voice that is turning my willpower to dust.

I drop my menu with a sigh and turn my eyes to his face.

"Are you upset with me?"

Am I?

"No, why?"

Edward's skin colors again. Jeesh, that is adorable and distracting. I'm having a hard time concentrating on his words; I'm getting totally lost in watching him.

"I guess that was a bit presumptuous introducing myself as your boyfriend. I just thought...honestly, I'm not sure what I thought."

What do I think? Do I want a boyfriend?

I guess. I do like talking to Edward and I really like kissing Edward.

I watch Edward's face while I think. It goes from hopeful to doubtful, until the light starts to fade from his eyes, and that, that right there makes up my mind. I can't stand to see that miserable look on his face.

"It's fine. I...I didn't mind."

Totally worth it!

The look on Edward's face is priceless. His eyes shine with light and he's grinning from ear to ear.

I can't help myself, I lean across the table and place several small kisses at the corner of his mouth before he turns his face and I find myself kissing him again.

Oh, sweet Jesus, I think I really could kiss this man all day. His lips are like magic, and I am completely under his spell.

Edward finally breaks our kiss and starts to look over the menu with great interest.

After we place our orders, Edward locks eyes with me. "So, your friend seemed genuinely surprised that you were here with me. Why is that?"

"Umm...I don't really date Edward."

"Until now."

I can't help but laugh. "Yes, until now."

Edward is holding my hand, tracing patterns in my palm. "Can I ask you a few things, Bella?"

"Sure."

"That night...when I found you... What—what happened?"

I drop my eyes. He won't understand.

I feel his fingers under my chin, forcing my eyes up to his.

"Please, Bella? You can trust me."

I want to trust him – I really do. I just don't know how.

Edward's face is thoughtful, like he is remembering something. His fingers continue to trace their pattern on my hand.

"You know, Emmett found me wondering the streets when I was seven years old. I had been on my own for two weeks. I was filthy and hungry and cold. I followed Emmett home like a puppy dog."

My breath caught in my throat. I had never thought about how Edward had come to be with Esme and Carlisle.

"I'll never forget my first week with them – it was the best week of my life. I got to have my own room with a real bed. I was so excited I didn't sleep the first two nights I was there. I would just lie awake, looking at the room around me, running my hands over the clean sheets. I still remember the feel of those sheets."

I am completely stunned. Edward is telling me something that had to be painful for him, showing me I can trust him. I remember him telling me he had no secrets. He is proving to be a man of his word.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly when I begin to speak. "My ex-husband was at the restaurant that night..." I close my eyes against the images in my brain, and take another breath to steady my nerves, "with my parents."

I can see the confusion cloud Edward's beautiful face. "Why?"

Why, indeed. I have been asking myself that very question for years.

"They still consider him their son-in-law."

Edward really seems to be struggling with that statement – I can see the deep confusion furrow his brow.

"Do they know? About how he treated you?"

This would be the test. Will he still want to date me after he hears about my family?

"Yes."

I can feel Edward's body tense beside me and see his jaw clench. "How long have they known?"

My voice is a whisper. "They found out right before the divorce."

Edward is quiet for a moment, turning my hand over and over. His voice is filled with disgust when he speaks. "How can they still talk to him if they know he hit you?"

Hit me - I wish. That would have been a relief from the crushing, horrendous beatings James had subjected me to.

"You would have to understand how my parents are."

"I would like to meet them sometime."

I smile slightly at that thought. They would hate Edward because he clearly doesn't care what people think about him and my parents are all about image. It seems that's the only thing that matters to them.

"You don't need to do that Edward. They really aren't a part of my life."

Edward looks really confused now. "But I saw a picture with you and your parents at Elite."

I mentally scan the pictures in my apartment. Ah, I know the one he is thinking of.

"That picture wasn't with my parents. My parents have never taken any real interest in the things that matter to me. That was my childhood nanny, Renee, and her husband, Charlie. They might as well be my parents though. They did more for me than my biological parents."

Edward's face gives away his complete shock, and I honestly wish I could know what he's thinking.

"Say something, Edward."

He laughs lightly, a smile spreading across his face. "I guess I never saw you as the nanny type."

Now I'm laughing. "Yeah, well I never saw you as the orphan type."

"I wasn't an orphan, Bella – I was a runaway."

Now it's my turn to be shocked. How can Edward come from this background and just be okay? People don't run from good homes.

What kind of home had Edward come from?

I want to know him, his history. Why his past doesn't seem to bother him while mine continues to haunt me.

"Chicken Alfredo for the lady and a Hawaiian Burger for you, sir."

Our waiter can't have worse timing. I can see in Edward's face that he is disappointed, and in all honesty, so am I.

Something inside me, deep down in my innards, knows I can trust Edward. I want to trust him. The mere thought of being able to unload my burdened soul sends waves of relief through me.

Edward gives me another of those heart-stopping half-grins before we both dig into our food hungrily.

**RosePOV**

I'm thinking today is not going to be a good day. It has been weeks since the last time I had a session with Bella and our last words were not kind.

I'm nervous as I see Bella stride toward me. She looks off, different. I can't really pinpoint it. Her clothes are her usual style - tailored slacks, white button-down shirt with rolled sleeves, and black high heels.

But there is something about the way she is carrying herself that is so different.

"Hey Bella!"

To my great surprise, Bella walks right up to me and wraps me in a hug.

I'm shocked. Bella is not one for overt affection.

"Good to see you, Rose."

I hold Bella away from me and look her in the eye. "Who are you and what have you done with Bella?"

Bella's answering laugh is loud and hearty. Seriously, who is this woman?

"Did you just get laid or something? What's up with you?"

"Nosey much? No, I didn't just get laid."

I motion Bella to take a chair. "Why the heck not? I figured you and Edward would be doing it like rabbits by now."

And here is regular Bella, back again to eye-rolling and head-shaking.

"Edward and I haven't slept together."

Wow! This really isn't like Bella; she has usually screwed the guy and moved on by now.

"So is something wrong? Because from what I gather from Emmett, he's pretty into you."

Bella's sigh and blush tell me I am getting somewhere.

"We haven't really discussed it, but it just...I don't know, hasn't been the right time. I just got back into my place a couple of days ago and Edward is still staying with Emmett, so..."

"But you want to, right?"

"Is this an interview? Yes, I want to... Hello, have you seen him?"

That's more like the Bella I know.

"We are dating and it's nice. Edward is very sweet. It's not something I'm used to, but I'm really enjoying it."

Oh my God! Well, wonders never cease. Bella Swan, Miss Anti-relationship herself, is actually dating…and liking it!

"I think Edward might be really good for you, Bella."

**AlicePOV**

"Bella, will you hurry up? How long does it take to try on a bra?"

"Alright, Alice, keep your pants on - I'll be out in a sec."

"So how long will Edward be gone this time?"

"Three weeks in Peru. He's only been gone for two days. Is it crazy for me to miss him already?"

"No, it's normal. He's your boyfriend - you are supposed to miss him."

"Well this is all new to me, Alice. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel."

"Just go with your gut. Bella, and you better be getting that dark blue lace bra and panties set. Edward is going to need a welcome home gift after all."

I can almost feel Bella rolling her eyes through the dressing room wall.

**EPOV**

I hate the jungle.

All I want is to be dry and clean...and to see Bella.

I miss her more than I thought I would.

I can't wait to be back in my hotel room and take a shower, sit in the air conditioning, and see if Bella has sent me any messages.

**~xx~**

I'm still rubbing a towel through my hair as I sit down at my laptop and am greeted by the delightful sight of an email from Bella.

To: Edward Cullen

From: Bella Swan

Subject: Couldn't Sleep

Hey, I couldn't sleep and was laying awake, thinking about you, wondering how you are doing.

Tonight was crazy at the restaurant. A huge bachelorette party stayed to almost three a.m. I think they drank all of our booze.

Went shopping with Alice yesterday. Sorta got you a gift.

I'm babbling, I know...I just wanted to say hi and say that...I miss you and hope you are well.

~Bella~

I'm amazed at the emotion shooting through me with the knowledge that Bella misses me. Man, I hope this assignment goes fast. I just want to be home where I can hold Bella in my arms, press her close to me, and feel her warm skin against my lips.

To: Bella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Wish I Was There

Glad you are thinking of me, because I'm thinking of you, too. It's miserably hot and humid here.

A gift? I like gifts. It just so happens that I got you one as well.

I miss you, too.

Sleep well my Bella!

Edward

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for continuing to read, please leave me your thoughts!**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: ALL TWILIGHT CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you to my wonderful beta and friend, Justine, without whom, none of this would be possible! To 'the girls'...your support holds me up and I love each of you! To my readers; thank you so much for your loyalty!**

**~XXXX~**

**Esme POV**

"How is Peru, dear?"

"It's good. How are Dad and the restaurant?"

"Your Dad is busy as ever, and actually, the restaurant is why I called. Next week is our third anniversary – will you be able to make the party?"

"Of course I'll be there, Mom. I wouldn't miss it."

"I didn't want to assume, just because you're living back here again... It's a date kind of event, if you want to bring someone with you."

"Umm, well...I have a girlfriend...and she will definitely be there."

"And does this mystery girl have a name?"

"Bella."

"Bella? As in my chef Bella?"

"The very same."

I'm shocked! I know that Bella isn't the dating type and I worry for my son. He will always be that sweet, little boy in my eyes.

"Please be careful, sweetie...I don't want you getting hurt."

I can hear the annoyance in his voice as he sighs loudly. "I'm a grown man, Mom; you don't need to worry."

"I know that, Edward, but I'm your mother, I always worry about you."

He laughs. Oh, how I've always loved that boy's laugh.

"You really should worry more about me being bit by some damn fly in the jungle than Bella hurting me."

"I worry about stuff like that, too, Edward. Just please take it slow."

"Okay, Mom, I know what you're saying."

"Before I forget, are you still looking for an apartment?"

"Yeah."

"I ran into Mrs. Newton the other day, and I was telling her you moved back here and she mentioned that the other side of their duplex is open now. Are you interested?"

"That would be great, Mom, especially with Mike gone."

"Actually he still lives with his parents."

"What a fucking loser."

"Edward Cullen! Don't you use that kind of language around me!"

"Sorry, Mom."

"Fine. Now, do you want me to tell Mrs. Newton yes or no?"

"You can tell her yes. Emmett is driving me crazy – I need my own space."

"Okay. Well, sweetie, I need to go. I'll let Mrs. Newton know you want the place. Please, take care of yourself, and I'll see you next Sunday. I love you, Edward."

"Love you too, Mom. Talk to you later."

**BPOV**

I check the time again. I need to hurry – Edward will be here any minute, and I'm still standing here in my underwear.

I hurry to my closet and grab the snug black dress Alice picked out for me.

I'm surprised at how comfortable I feel in this dress, the way the cool satin lays against my skin. I 'm not even embarrassed that the dress is just above my knee and sleeveless. I never wear anything sleeveless.

Just as I smooth my dress over my hips, I hear two sharp knocks at my door. Crap! Edward is already here.

I am unbelievably excited to be seeing Edward. It's been three weeks since the last time I saw him.

My door is barely open before Edward has his arms around my waist and pulls me tightly to his chest.

Oh, I forgot how good the sculpted planes of his chest feel pressed against my breasts.

Part of me, the southern hemisphere part, wants to skip this party and keep him here for a serious make-out session.

As though he can read my mind, his lips crash into mine, hot and heavy - his tongue finds mine as we envelop each other.

God, I missed kissing him. Three weeks was too long to be away from him. I hate to admit it, but I find myself craving Edward more and more – and not just sexually.

"I've missed you so much, baby. Are you ready to go?"

He has never called me that before, and I'm surprised by the feeling of warmth that shoots through me at his term of endearment.

"Yeah, just let me do something real quick."

He looks gorgeous of course, but not like himself. I reach my hand out and undo the two buttons of his suit coat, then loosen his tie just a little. Lastly, I reach up to his hair that is neatly combed down. I scrub my fingers back and forth through his hair several times till it is back to its normal just-rolled-out-of-bed look.

"Much better. Now you look perfect."

"I didn't look good before?"

I wrap my arms around his waist and place light kisses along his jaw.

"You always look good."

His answering smile is stunning.

As soon as my door closes Edward has my hand in his and he pulls me toward the stairs.

"Is the elevator out?"

He has an almost embarrassed look on his face as I glance up at him.

"No, I just don't like small closed spaces."

My eyes widen at his revelation. "Really? Why?"

"Later." His voice is brusque and I know the subject is closed for now.

"Are you fine with walking? It's a nice night."

I nod. It really is a nice night, amazingly rain free, and it's only two blocks.

I'm feeling really nervous walking toward Elite; almost everyone I know will be there tonight, most of my friends, all of my co-workers, even Charlie and Renee will be there. Of course Edward's family will be there, too, and even though I know them, it still makes me nervous. I wonder what Esme will think of me dating her son?

There are so many people here, more then I expected. I can't believe it's only been three years since this place opened and we are already rated number one among hot night spots in Seattle.

Esme wraps Edward in a hug almost as soon as we step inside. "Hi Mom. Looks like you have a good turnout tonight."

"Glad you're here, Edward."

Esme scans the crowd with enthusiasm before turning her attention to me. She crushes me into a hug and whispers in my ear, "You two look good together. Be good to my boy, Bella," and then she's off, working the crowd.

Edward pulls me toward the bar where Emmett is casually leaning with Rose pulled tightly against him. Emmett's face lights up as we get near him.

"Well, aren't you two kids cute?"

I roll my eyes at him. "You look nervous, Emmett. Are they messing up your bar?"

Emmett narrows his eyes at the hired bartenders manning his usual spot. "You punks mess up my bar, and I'll break you in half."

Thwack!

I can't help the laugh that bursts out as Rose smacks Emmett in the back of the head.

"Be nice."

Emmett makes his best "Yes, dear" face, causing Edward and I to bust up laughing.

I'm suddenly accosted by Alice. "Oh my God, Bella! That dress looks amazing on you! You should always wear dresses. Are you wearing that blue bra?"

Clearly Alice has been drinking, since her brain filter is gone.

I feel the bright red burning into my skin now that Alice has revealed my underwear to everyone.

"I'd like to know the answer to Alice's question." Edward's breath is hot against the side of my face, his words and the tone in his voice make my insides quiver.

I look up into his eyes and see that they are alight with excitement.

Oh my!

He smirks that heart-melting way he does before his lips lightly skim my neck. "Let's get a drink."

After we order our drinks, we turn to find Alice and Jasper standing right behind us.

Oh, awkward and then some.

Even though I see Jasper three days a week, this is very uncomfortable. When we are at work he stays behind the bar and I stay in the kitchen; we don't avoid each other, but we don't seek each other out either.

I'm just glad we're at a crowded party, otherwise there would be nothing to distract us from the uncomfortable silence.

Alice clears her throat and arches her eyebrow at me, and I know it's code for "Say something!"

Well here goes nothing.

"Edward, I would like you to meet some friends of mine. This is Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock."

"And this must be the infamous Edward Cullen."

I narrow my eyes at Alice. She should be banned from alcohol in any form.

"Infamous?"

Edward is clearly confused.

"Oh, yeah, you should hear how Bella goes on and on about you, it's very cute."

Please, floor, open up and swallow me now. Next time I see her, I'm going to kick her butt.

I pull Edward away with me before this conversation can get any worse.

"So you talk about me, huh?"

I just roll my eyes and lead him across the room.

I spot Charlie and Renee before they spot me. They're talking to Esme and Carlisle.

"Come on, I want you to meet Charlie and Renee."

I glance up at Edward to see him look suddenly nervous.

"Don't worry, they will love you."

The oddest look crosses Edward's face for a split second and then disappears. I would give almost anything to know what's flitting through his mind right now.

"Oh, Bella, honey, look at you! You look lovely!"

Renee is always so full of enthusiasm; you can't help but feel good in her presence.

Charlie is more subtle and goes for the half-hug.

"Ya look good, kid."

"Charlie, Renee, I would like you to meet Edward. He...is...kinda my boyfriend."

I'm not sure I could have shocked them more. The look on their faces is comical – they definitely weren't expecting that.

Renee recovers first from her open-mouth gaping. "So nice to meet you, Edward."

"Likewise, Mrs..."

"Swan. Renee Swan."

Edward's eyes flash to mine in confusion. He must be wondering why I took their last name. That is an easy answer to give him.

I stretch up to whisper in his ear, "I legally changed my name after my divorce. Charlie and Renee are my real family."

Charlie and Edward shake hands; Charlie sizes Edward up. Even though he isn't biologically my father, Charlie is rather protective of me.

A wink from Charlie lets me know Edward has his nod of approval.

"So how did you two meet?"

Here comes the Renee inquisition.

"Emmett introduced us; he and Edward are brothers."

I don't need to be a mind reader to know what Renee is thinking. She's questioning the sanity behind my decision to date my boss's son. To her credit though, she doesn't say anything, moving on with her line of questioning.

"How long have you all been dating?"

Charlie clears his throat loudly, his way of telling Renee she needs to clam up.

I love Renee dearly, but she can be a bit nosy at times, and I'm glad Charlie has curbed her before she can really get started.

I take this as my clue to hightail it.

"Let's go find a place to sit for dinner."

We end up sitting with our parents and Emmett and Rosalie.

Dinner is great and the conversation flows amazingly easy.

Before I know it, Esme is standing near our table with a microphone calling the room to attention.

She thanks everyone for coming and talks about her amazing staff, to which I blush, and then comes the moment of dread – she thanks me personally.

"All of you here know our head chef, Bella Swan. She is the biggest reason we are one of the hottest night spots in Seattle. I know Emmett and Jasper are the two greatest bartenders I could ask for, but we all know Bella is what keeps this place busy and has people coming back for more. For so many years, this restaurant was just a dream of mine, something I thought would never happen, and now, thanks to the support of my wonderful husband, and the good luck to find an amazing chef...here we are."

The applause is deafening as Esme walks over to me and throws her arms around me in a crushing hug.

"This night is as much yours as it is mine. Now don't be shy – say something." And with that, I find the microphone shoved into my hand and Esme steps back, giving me the floor.

I am overwhelmed and scared shitless. I hate talking in front of crowds. Everyone is looking at me, waiting for me to say something clever no doubt, and I've got nothing, my mind is a complete blank.

I scan the crowd, waiting for the words to come. My gaze travels across Renee, Charlie, Emmett, Rose, Esme, and lastly, to Edward. His eyes are intent on mine, unwavering, and, in them, I find something I never expected to find – a quiet strength.

I draw a slow, deep breath and find my words.

"Thank you all so much for coming out tonight. Three years ago, when I applied for this job, I wasn't really expecting to get it, but Esme took a chance on me, on all of us, and together, we have made something pretty amazing. Now, if we can all raise our glasses, let's toast the world's best boss in the hopes of many, many more years of success.

"Here, here!" is the resounding reply.

My face is impossibly red as I slide back into my chair next to Edward. He squeezes my hand and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before whispering in my ear, "Good job, baby."

**~xx~**

"I'm ready to go now."

Edward turns away from his animated discussion with Carlisle at the sound of my voice. "Alright, baby, let's go."

We say our goodbyes and step out into the cool night. I snuggle close into Edward's side as we walk, trying to absorb warmth from him. I knew I should have brought a coat with me.

"Baby, you're freezing." In one swift movement, Edward pulls away from me briefly and slips off his jacket, placing it around my shoulders.

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Come on, let's hurry and get you inside."

I fumble with my keys as we stand outside my door, nervous about what I'm going to say next. "Would you like to come in?"

It's insane to be this nervous; it's not like he hasn't been in my apartment before. But not like this - this is the first time we will be really alone with together.

"Yes." His lips are soft on my neck as he speaks, and that one little word sends waves of warm tingles down my spine.

I manage to get my door open and Edward follows close behind me as I lead him into the living room.

"Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?"

"I'm fine. Let's talk."

I feel a bit unsure; his voice sounds serious.

I sit on the edge of the chair across from the couch where Edward sits.

Edward rolls his eyes at me and I know that it's obvious to him my defenses are up.

"Bella, will you please come sit next to me?"

I heave a sigh, taking his offered hand and move to sit beside him on the couch.

His hands are warm and smooth as they stroke my hand.

"Can I just ask you a few questions?"

Oh, why does it always have to be questions?

I just want to get back to kissing him and maybe more. God, how I want more of him.

"So what was up with your friends, Alice and Jasper? You were acting kind of weird around them."

I don't want to have this conversation. I'm sure he'll never want to see me again when I tell him the truth.

"Can I kiss you one time first, please?"

His wide smile is my only answer as he draws me closer to him and presses his mouth firmly to mine, sucking my lower lip into his mouth. I savor the taste of him in my mouth, knowing this will be our last kiss.

I break our kiss - no use in delaying the inevitable. "Jasper and I used to be involved."

There is silence; he says nothing. I chance a look up into his face - amusement, maybe? I'm not sure. I wait for the hammer to fall.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Is he so disgusted he can't talk?

"I know you didn't date before, but I didn't think you were celibate."

His soft chuckle is a shock to my system.

He isn't angry!

"Bella, why do you look so perplexed?"

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying."

"I understand. You hooked up with guys, no strings attached, am I right?"

I nod, too stunned to speak.

"I'm not going to hold your past against you. It's not like I was Mr. Relationship, this is new to me too. Did you think I was going to leave?"

I nod again.

"Oh, Bella."

In one swift move, he scoops me up and sets me sideways on his lap.

His lips meet mine so quickly it makes my head spin.

He pulls away the slightest bit, just enough for him to speak. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Yes."

I think I would answer anything right now just so he'll keep kissing me.

"Why were you so surprised that my mom hired you?"

Why did he have to ask that?

I'm so tempted to ignore him, to continue with our kiss.

I press myself even closer to him, wiggling so my thigh is pressed firmly against his length, hoping that will distract him.

For a second, I believe it works as he sucks in a sharp breath and his eyes lose their focus.

His hands move from my shoulders down to my hips, gripping them firmly, his mouth still against mine.

"Bella, stop. Can you, please, just answer me?"

I sigh loudly, knowing I need to answer.

"I wasn't sure Esme would take a chance on someone with my history."

Edward looks confused and I know he is waiting for me to go on. I take another deep breath, and begin slowly rubbing my hands up and down his arms, hoping the action will not only calm me, but somehow will Edward to be understanding.

"I was afraid she wouldn't want to hire someone who had been committed to a mental health facility."

I can't even meet his eyes. Shame and embarrassment are coursing through me and the deep red of my blush is burning hot across my skin.

I brace my hands on his shoulders to push myself out of his grip. His silence a clear indication of his disgust.

I feel his muscles contract, his arms keeping me in place on his lap.

"Please look at me, Bella."

I keep my eyes fixed down at my lap, unmoving.

His soft, long finger traces along my jaw to my chin and lifts my face gently till my eyes meet his.

"Baby, I don't know why you were there and you don't need to tell me now. When you are ready, I'm here, you can trust me."

He is too good. Too good to be true. How can I possibly be lucky enough to deserve someone like this in my life?

His lips are soft as they touch lightly to mine, moving slowly, gently – speaking his acceptance more than words can.

All I want is to be closer to him, to feel more of him pressed against me.

I shift my weight drawing my knee over his legs so there's one on either side of his thighs, the skirt of my dress drawing dangerously high.

Our lips never lose their contact as I move, settling my apex over the noticeable bulge in his pants.

I gasp into his mouth at our contact, my hips involuntarily thrusting forward as the flames of desire crawl through my belly, radiating out to my limbs, turning every nerve hypersensitive.

He takes my bottom lip into his warm, wet mouth, sucking it hard before letting it go. Moisture pools beneath me, and I thrust myself into him again – harder this time. His answering groan almost undoes me.

I feel the warmth of his hands on my ass, grabbing me firmly, his fingers digging into me, pulling me roughly against him.

This isn't enough. I want more of him, I need more of him.

I move my lips hungrily down his neck to the collar of his shirt. This must go. His skin is too delicious to be covered by clothing.

I easily open the top two buttons of his shirt and slide my hand inside. The touch of my hand causes him to press his hips forward more insistently to mine, both of us letting out low, lust-filled moans.

My breath is coming in short, rasping gasps against Edward's neck and his breath is hot in my hair where he has buried his face.

"Bella. I want you." His voice is dripping sex and his whispered words go straight to my already soaked loins.

I bring my mouth back to his, pressing my tongue urgently into his mouth while my fingers busy themselves with his remaining shirt buttons.

His hands are traveling my body, one gliding firmly up my front to land squarely on my breast, pulling and massaging gently. His other hand is sliding from my ass, up my back, to the zipper of my dress.

My insides freeze the second his hand touches my zipper and the panic sets in.

I was so lost in his touch I never thought about him touching my back, putting his hands on the skin there.

I feel tears stinging my eyes, and bile churning in my stomach.

" Stop! Please stop, Edward!"

He freezes immediately and takes his hands off me.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I thought you wanted..."

I don't let him finish.

"I do, Edward. I really, really do. I...I have a hard time with letting people touch my back. I'm sorry."

Edward's brow furrows in concern.

"Don't be sorry. Will you tell me why so I can understand?"

I don't want to ruin the night by talking about it.

"Not tonight, Edward."

The mood is definitely ruined and I feel terrible.

I hope Edward doesn't think I'm a tease. I may have some questionable morality, but I'm definitely not a tease.

I slide off his lap and try to stand.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Edward pulls me back down.

"I figured you would want to go now."

"Bella, I'm not dating you so I can sleep with you...well, at least it isn't the only reason."

I can't help but laugh at his honesty.

"Would you like to stay and watch a movie?"

"That sounds great."

I pop Robin Hood into the DVD player and snuggle up next to Edward on the couch.

If someone had told me two months ago I would be dating someone, I would have said they were nuts. If someone told me that I would, not only be dating someone, but I would enjoy their company in a non-sexual way, I would have said it was pure science fiction.

But here I sit, snuggled up under a blanket on my couch, watching a movie with my boyfriend and I realize there is no place else I would rather be than right where I am.

Hmm…another first for me.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please leave me your thoughts!**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to my lovely friend and beta, Justine...you are the salt on my fry! To 'The Girls'...none of this is possible without you!**

**~XXXX~  
**

**EPOV**

My God! What is that awful, high-pitched screeching noise?

Ugh.

My body is stiff and my muscles are cramping.

A sudden jerking movement causes my eyes to fly open. I blink the sleep from my eyes, trying to make them focus.

I'm still on Bella's couch, stretched on my side, Bella curved awkwardly around me.

Bella! Oh my God! That noise is coming from _Bella_!

Her face is twisted in agony, and her body jerks violently with each screech.

"_No more!_ _Please, no more!_"

The terror in her voice sends stabs of pain shooting through my heart.

I wrap my arms tightly around her, pulling her against my chest.

"Bella. Bella, baby, wake up."

I try to keep my voice low and calm, not wanting to frighten her further. She continues to cry and twist in torment. I bring my hand to her face, stroking her tear soaked cheek. Her screeching crying quiets, though she is still whimpering.

"Bella. Please wake up. Open your eyes and look at me."

I brush my lips ever so gently against hers, hoping it will bring her back to reality.

Her eyes flutter rapidly before opening.

"Edward?"

"I'm here, baby."

Her face kills me, so twisted in agony.

"Make it stop. Please make it stop." Her voice is raw and rasping, begging me to help her.

"Bella, I'm here. You're safe, no one will hurt you."

Her hands tremble as her fingers trace the contours of my face. "Edward."

I cradle her head against my shoulder, kissing her forehead and brushing her hair from her tear stained face. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm here, Bella, I'm here."

I continue to brush my fingers through her hair, crooning soothing words to her. I feel her breaths evening out as they brush past my neck. I start humming as I rock her back and forth, rubbing soothing circles on her arm.

Her breathing continues to calm, slowly going in and out, her whimpers quieting slowly. "Stay with me, Edward."

I can't even speak; I just bury my face in her tangled hair and continue humming.

I'm not sure how long Bella and I sit on her couch, her fingers clinging to me, holding herself to me.

I feel as though my brain is in overdrive, a thousand images flip through my mind, images of what could be tormenting Bella so much.

She seems so different, vulnerable and lost. I'm not sure she was fully awake when she asked me to stay, but there is no way I would even think about being anywhere but here. Even though I don't wish any harm or pain on Bella, it makes me happy that she needs me, that she is sharing some of herself with me.

Bella's slow even breathing tells me she has fallen back to sleep, hopefully more peacefully this time.

**~xx~**

**EmPOV**

Where the fuck is my phone!

I don't know where the hell my damn phone goes, but I swear, every time it rings I can't find the damn thing.

Shit!

Where the hell is it?

The ring sounds like it's coming from maybe...

Aha!

How the hell did it get under my pillow?

"Hey."

_"Hi, Emmett."_

"Bella!"

_"I'm not going to make it today, Emmett."_

"You and Edward have a little too much fun last night?"

_"Jeez, you're such a perv, Emmett."_

"Seriously, Bella, you okay?"

_"Yeah, I'm okay. Just feeling a bit emotional today."_

"Anything I can do to help?"

_"No. Thanks, though. I'm just not in the mood for boxing today."_

"Okay, Bella, as long as you are really alright."

_"I'm fine, Emmett. I'll see you on Thursday."_

Hmmm, I hope Bella is really okay. I know how she can get when she has an emotional day. I don't want her to have a repeat of the apartment wrecking.

**~xx~**

**RPOV**

Wow, Bella looks so tired today! Her eyes are really bloodshot, almost hurts me to look at them.

"Hey, Rose."

Even her voice is tired; everything about her is screaming tired.

"You look terrible. What's going on, Bella?"

Her whole posture is rigid and defensive. I know she is going to be difficult today.

"I haven't been sleeping very well."

"Is there any particular reason that you haven't been sleeping well?"

I can see her hesitation before answering me. I know she is gauging her response, trying not to reveal more then she wants me to know. "Oh, you know, just the usual disturbing dreams."

I'm surprised she is actually admitting this to me. "Don't suppose you are going to tell me about those dreams are you?"

"I don't see how it will do any good to tell you about them. It'll just bring them to the front of my mind again."

"Bella. We have been through this before. I can't help you if you won't tell me what's going on in your head."

She inhales long and deep, allowing her head to fall back onto her chair before letting out a sigh. "The same thing I always have nightmares about, Rose. James. He's always my nightmare."

Her face is stoic, almost completely devoid of emotion; she is trying not to think, not to feel.

"We need to talk about this Bella. You need to give me more; otherwise this whole thing is pointless."

Bella's eyes flash with anger – she hates it when I push. Honestly, I'm not that crazy about pushing her buttons, but she can't keep avoiding my questions.

We stare each other down, waiting to see who will flinch first.

I'm finally able to penetrate Bella's chilly exterior and she begins to speak. "He just wouldn't stop hitting me, Rose."

There is a moment of anguish that crosses Bella's features before she locks it down, controls it.

"Where are you when he hits you, Bella?"

"The bedroom…always the bedroom." Her voice is so quiet I can barely make out the words.

"Okay. So talk me through it."

Every bit of color drains from her face and her eyes burn with the fire of her anger. "_No_! Isn't it bad enough I still have nightmares? I don't want to talk about it…to relive it."

I press my fingertips to my forehead in frustration. "Bella, I know we have been through this, but you need to face this or it will haunt you forever."

She shakes her head back and forth, her chin set in stubbornness.

"No, Rose."

She is so frustrating! She makes me want to pull all my hair out! "Well, dammit, Bella, you might as well just stop coming. The purpose of these meetings is to help you deal with your anger. We can't deal with it if you won't talk about the things that make you angry."

I feel like this is a losing battle with Bella. She tells me she wants help, but won't do the one thing that will help her.

"Fine, Rose! I'm ready to talk. I'm feeling angry right now. Angry at you. Angry that you are always pushing me. Angry that you have a self-righteous attitude because you have been able to tackle your demons. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?"

Her eyes are burning, her nostrils flaring; she looks like a crazed bull ready to charge.

I take a deep breath, trying to remain calm. I don't want to argue with Bella, but, man, can she really get to me.

I speak to her slowly through clenched teeth. "I think you should stop coming, Bella. If you aren't even going to try, then I can't help you."

I see the shock and hurt in her eyes as my words hit her like ice water. Her eyes settle into a steely glare, her jaw set, as she stands silently and walks away.

I really do care about Bella, and I'm worried I have lost my friend. All I can do is pray that someday she will forgive me.

**~Two weeks later~**

**APOV**

"Bella! I can't believe you've ditched me the last two weeks."

Man, she is slow! Pick up your damn feet, Bella! Guess I'll just have to drag her along.

"Christ, Alice, can you slow down? The salon isn't going anywhere."

"Stop being a whiner, Swan, and move your butt!"

"Why are we going to the salon anyway?"

"Because you my dear need your hair trimmed. I already booked you an appointment, and if you don't move your butt, we're going to be late."

_Ha_! She is so annoyed right now. Pretty damn funny really. "There is nothing wrong with my hair, Alice."

"Says you. Look at your split ends! I'm sure Edward appreciates my efforts to keep you looking gorgeous," I say, casting her a sidelong glance, gauging her reaction. Look at her blush!

"He does," she mutters.

"_Ooh_, spill, girl!"

Wow! I didn't know anyone could blush that much – she's got it bad.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Liar! If there's nothing to tell then why have you bailed on me the last two Wednesdays?"

"Well two weeks ago I just wasn't in the mood. I was kinda down in the dumps for a couple days, and last week, I was helping Edward move into his new place."

"How are things going with you two?"

"Really good."

"Oh, come on, Bella! Expand a little, please!"

"I don't know what to say, Alice. Things are going great. We talk several times a day, and I see him every day that I don't work. I enjoy spending time with him."

"So how are you liking the whole dating thing?"

"It's surprisingly nice."

_Ah_, here at last.

"Well, get your butt in there and let them make you gorgeous. Make Edward drool!"

**~xx~**

**BPOV**

Son of a bitch! How can there be _no_ hot water?

I don't have time to call the maintenance guy; I'm already running late.

I'll call Emmett and see if he has hot water.

"Hey, Em, do you have hot water at your place?"

_"Not sure – I'm at Rose's. Why? Yours out?"_

"Yep. Do you mind if I run over to your place and use your shower if you have any?"

_"Knock yourself out, Bella. You still have my key right?"_

"Yeah. Thanks, Emmett. I'll see ya at work."

_"Sure thing, Bella. See ya."_

**~xx~**

**EPOV**

"Emmett! Dude, turn down the music!"

Idiot probably can't hear me. Oh well, just need to grab the camera lens I left here and go. I realize this is _not_ the music Emmett usually listens to. Weird. Guess I should let him know I'm here. Nice glass of ice water over the shower door ought to be a nice hello.

Perfect!

The door to the bathroom is ajar. There is no chance he'll hear me come in.

Steam is billowing out of the cracked door and condensation is running off the glass, down my arm.

Emmett is going to crap himself when this water hits him. It's going to be so funny!

I poke my head into the thick steam, and my eyes land on the last thing I expect…

_Bella_?

I know I should look away and back out, but I can't – I'm frozen.

Bella is completely naked, bending over and drying her legs.

I want so badly to reach out and touch the milky skin of her perfectly rounded ass, but by some miracle I restrain myself. I allow my eyes to roam the rest of her body…

I'm shocked!

There against the beautiful pale skin of her back is a web of pink, spread across the skin from side to side. All the way up to the base of her neck and as far down as her tail bone are dozens of angry scars.

I feel the bile churning in my stomach, threatening to come up. My knees weaken; I feel unsteady.

I have to get away from here, get out in the fresh air before I go mad.

My legs hold out long enough for me to race down the stairs and out on the sidewalk. My lungs expand as I suck in huge gulps of air. I try to calm myself.

How could someone do that to her?

My fingers shake as I try to fit the key into the door of my car. My thoughts are a racing jumble. So many questions and…so much pain.

That is the most shocking part. _My_ _pain_. I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart, and the more I process what must have happened to Bella, the more the knife in my heart twists.

I somehow manage to make my way back to my place, though I don't remember the drive. I need to think…to process. I know it will hurt her, and me, but I need her to tell me… That's what I need to think about; how I can get her to trust me enough to tell me.

I should have my thoughts in order by tomorrow. Yeah, that would be enough time…I think.

I pull the phone from my pocket to send a text to Bella, not trusting my voice enough at the moment to speak to her without breaking down.

_Dinner tomorrow? We need to talk. My place…5:30? Edward _

I hit send, hoping I didn't sound upset. I didn't want to worry her.

It's just a minute before my phone buzzes with a text from Bella.

_Sounds great! Is everything okay? See you tomorrow._ _~Bella~ _

A jog will help me clear my head, figure out what to say.

**~xx~**

Bella is – of course – right on time.

I try to keep my expression blank as she comes in the door and kisses me lightly, grazing her lips softly across mine.

"Edward are you okay? You seem so sad."

"Lets eat first. We can talk after dinner."

We eat in virtual silence; the only sounds are the scraping of forks and the sound of our breathing.

"Edward, let me clean up. It's the least I can do since you made dinner."

I take her hand gently in mine, leading her to the living room.

"Leave it. Come talk with me."

She sits down lightly on the couch next to me, her body angled toward mine, our knees just barely touching.

My eyes are fixed on her hand, sitting softly on my knee.

I'm not sure how to start…if I can start.

Bella's small, soft hand is on my cheek, pressing warmly against my skin. I raise my eyes to meet hers and they are full of concern.

"Edward? Are you alright? What is it?"

Well, here goes….

"You know the clearest memory I have of my biological mother is going to work with her. She wasn't supposed to have me with her, but she couldn't afford any child care. Strip clubs aren't really the greatest place to be bringing a kid. I used to have to hide in the closet in the changing room."

I watch Bella's eyes as she listens to my story. I can see pain and disbelief reflected in their brown depths.

"That closet was so tiny and dirty. I used to fall asleep in there all the time…dreaming was my only escape from being afraid."

Her face is horror struck as she gazes at me.

"Edward…I'm so sorry! I…"

I could tell she was struggling to find words, so I pressed on. "I still have trouble with small, windowless spaces. That's why elevators make me nervous."

Bella's eyes are surprisingly soft, and it pains me knowing what I'm going to say next.

"Bella, I told you this because I want you to trust me, to show you I have fears, too. There is something I need to confess to you."

Confusion clouds Bella's features, and I can see the tension in her body.

"I stopped by Emmett's place yesterday. I had left a piece to my camera there. I…I didn't mean to snoop, I just peeked in the door, thinking I was going to surprise Emmett with a cold glass of water over the shower door…but I…I saw you in there."

I can barely meet Bella's eyes; her face has gone completely white.

"What did you see?" Her voice is so quiet I can barely hear her.

"Your back."

Her intake of breath is sharp, and her hand is trembling in mine.

"Bella. Please, trust me… How did…?"

I can't even finish; my voice is choked with emotion, because, in my gut, I already know how it happened, the look of utter agony on Bella's face confirms it.

"It was him wasn't it?"

Her eyes pool with unshed tears, her small frame quaking.

"Edward, don't."

I scoot closer to her so there is no space between us, taking her face in my hands.

"Bella, you can trust me. I care about you, just, please, tell me. You don't have to talk, just nod…something…please."

She looks intently into my eyes, searching for something within them. I never move my gaze from hers. She must find what she is searching for; she gives one quick nod and the tears that had been threatening slide unbidden down her face.

Each tear that slides down is like a dagger to my heart. My mind is whirling. How could anyone hurt someone like Bella - and to hurt her so badly. Tears are pricking my eyes now.

I have never seen Bella like this - she's like a whole different person. Her posture is dejected and her tears make rivers down her face.

I do the only thing I know to do. Carefully lifting her into my lap, very careful not to touch her back, and hold her face tightly to my chest, kissing the top of her head gently.

She is sobbing now, her body shaking against me.

"Shh, Bella, shh. I have one more thing to ask you if that's okay?"

I feel the up and down motion of her head against my chest.

"Are you afraid of me, Bella? Is that what bothered you when I touched your back?"

Silence fills the air around us and I wonder if she will answer me.

Finally she lifts her head from my chest and turns her red, swollen eyes up to mine. So many emotions are playing across her face. The most prominent is embarrassment… I wasn't expecting that.

"I'm not afraid of you, Edward; I'm afraid I'll disgust you."

If it wasn't for the fact that she is so obviously upset, her comment would be laughable. Is she joking? I feel anything but disgust for her. More often then not I have a raging hard-on in her presence.

"Why would you ever think I would be disgusted with you?"

Her skin is so red she looks like she could burst into flames, and she has dropped her gaze so her eyes are hidden from me.

I let my finger gently trace the edge of her cheek down to her chin, pulling her gaze back up to mine.

"Bella, why would you think that? You are so beautiful."

Fresh tears pour from her eyes.

"My…back…the scars…I'm hideous, unlovable…just an object."

"How can you even think that, Bella?"

The level of pain on her face tells me everything I need to know. Not only has that bastard of an ex-husband of hers brutalized her body, but he has turned her own mind against her. Rage courses through my veins. I have never wanted to kill someone so much in my life. Her ex deserves death for the kind of destruction he had caused to Bella.

Something else is coursing through my body now, warm and strong… Love?

Is it possible I love Bella? Maybe…

All I want is to protect her, show her how much I care, show her how wrong she is about her worth.

I press my lips to her damp cheek, kissing slowly till I reach her lips.

"Bella, you are the most beautiful thing and could never be an object to me."

I press my lips firmly to hers, trying to pour my feelings into this kiss. Feelings that aren't even clear to me yet, but they are there and they are strong.

Bella is sinking into our kiss, stroking her tongue against mine, pressing her firm breasts to my chest. I move my hands slowly down her neck to rest on her shoulders. I feel her body tense against me as my fingertips curl over her shoulders.

"Bella, I won't hurt you."

I let my lips fall to her neck as I await her approval. Her nod is almost imperceptible, and I can see the determination on her face. Slowly I inch my hands down, keeping my touch light. Her breathing comes in sharp gasps, and I freeze, hoping I haven't pushed too hard.

Electricity pulses through me with the touch of her hands to my chest, her breath warm on my ear. "Edward, don't stop."

I move again, bringing my hands to the middle of her back, pressing her even closer to me. Her body is still tense under my hands, but her lips are warm and urgent against my jaw. Bella's hands slide down to the hem of my shirt, toying with it momentarily before sliding underneath the fabric. I can't help the moan that escapes when her hands touch my skin, so warm and soft ghosting up my abs to my chest.

Taking my clues from her, I slowly bring one hand to the top button of her shirt. I press my lips against the soft skin of her collar bone and slowly twist the buttons on her shirt one by one, allowing the fabric to fall open, exposing her luscious skin. Her perfectly rounded breasts are spilling over the top of a bright blue bra, contrasting gorgeously with her skin. My lips continue their exploration, finding the delicate skin of her breast, sucking it gently into my mouth.

Soft moans fall from her lips causing my dick to leap and twitch underneath her, straining towards her.

Bella's hands pull at my shirt, trying to yank it upward.

I move my lips from her just long enough to help her yank my shirt off.

Her lips are now hot and moist on my chest, licking and nipping. My hips thrust involuntarily into her, moans sound in the back of my throat.

I need to keep this slow…take my time…show her how much I care for her.

I steady my breath and bring my mouth back to hers, sucking her tongue hard into my mouth.

I want this woman so much; I feel like I'm going mad with desire for her.

Before we go any further, I need Bella to know how very beautiful she is to me, how nothing about her could ever disgust me.

I push back on her gently as I stand, placing her on her feet, our lips still interlocked.

I pull my lips from hers, grazing them down her neck to her shoulder.

With extreme slowness and all the tenderness I possess, I slide her shirt off her shoulder, pushing it down her arms and past her fingertips.

Bella's breathing hitches as soon as her shirt hits the floor. I lace the fingers of one hand through hers and press my other hand against the small of her back, holding her to me.

Bella is holding her breath, her whole body tense.

"Trust me, Isabella."

I can barely contain the want in my voice.

My lips move back to her neck, kissing behind her ear. I remove my hand from hers and move slowly, gently around her body till I am standing behind her. I press the bare skin of my chest against the scarred skin of her back. She exhales loudly as our bodies meet, and I feel her trembling against me.

"Bella, you are so very beautiful."

I lower my lips to her shoulder, pressing them gently to one of her scars. She gasps sharply at my touch.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Please don't stop, Edward."

To emphasize her point she reaches back and grabs my belt loops, pulling me even tighter against her.

I continue to let my lips press lightly to the thin, raised scars. When I reach her bra, I unbuckle it quickly, pushing it out of my way as I smooth my hands around her, cupping her firm breasts. They fit perfectly in my hands…like they were made just for me. Bella moans, arching her back, pushing her soft mounds more insistently into my hands, and I relish the feel of her nipples as they harden against my palms.

I place heated open mouth kisses up her neck to her ear. "Come to bed with me, Bella."

**BPOV**

I melt into his hands with these words. His voice is dripping sex. I couldn't say no if I wanted to, and I definitely don't want to.

Edward is walking me toward his bedroom, his hands still on my breasts, his lips sucking gently at my neck.

My heart beats a wild tattoo behind my ribs. I can't believe how good it feels to have him behind me – I've never allowed this to happen before.

James barely slept with me the entire time we were married, and the few times he did, he was hard and cruel and always from behind; I was never to look at him.

I cringe inwardly and push James from my mind. I don't want thoughts of him ruining my time with Edward.

In this moment - with Edward behind me - I feel my fears and shame start to melt away. He is so soft…so tender…his lips crooning words of acceptance against my skin.

His hands continue to squeeze and circle my breasts, tugging ever so gently on my nipples, sending tingles of electricity down through my stomach straight to my core.

"Edward." His name tumbles from my lips in needy desperation.

I need this man.

I turn in his grasp, burying my face in the fine nest of hair that lightly covers his chest. I breathe his scent in deeply. He smells delicious, like soap and cologne and man. I reach my tongue out and run it through the fine hair. His moan vibrates through his chest into my lips causing the moisture in my core to increase.

His hands have found the button of my jeans and pop it open easily, sliding his hands down over my hips, pushing my jeans and panties down with the decent of his hands.

I am completely naked before him, every inch of me on fire. His eyes are drinking me in, roaming every inch of my skin. His hands follow his eyes to where I want him most, brushing me gently, gathering my moisture, taunting me with pleasure when his slick finger finds my pulsing bundle of nerves.

"Oh, God!" Or at least I hope those are the words that came out.

My mind is so overcome with the sensation of his touch that words are barely forming. I feel myself being lowered backward, my skin making contact with the soft comforter of his bed. My nerves kick in - I feel my body trembling.

"Bella, are you okay? We don't have to do this."

Edward is hovering over me now. He has managed to rid himself of his pants and is now positioned between my legs.

"I've never done this before." My voice is weak and pathetic, and I'm instantly annoyed with myself. Edward's face clouds in confusion and I rush to clarify. "I…I mean face to face….me on the bottom…"

I feel so stupid now.

Edward's eyes are intent on mine, holding my gaze. He lowers himself so his forearms are resting on either side of my head, his firm tip now pressed enticingly to my slick lips. "Let me make love to you, Bella."

Once again, his voice melts away any doubts or fears I have. I slide my hands from his perfectly muscled back down to the taut muscles of his rear, digging my fingers into the flesh, pulling him forward.

He pushes forward slowly, sheathing himself inside me one glorious inch at a time.

"Uuuhhhhh!" The feel of him inside me is beyond description.

My walls hold tightly to him, greedy in their need for him. I arch into him, meeting his thrust. No words even come to my mind, only animalistic groans as he fills me completely.

His breath is heavy on my face as he moves slowly inside me.

I've never felt anything like this. Every nerve, every emotion is raw, grated, laid bare.

Edward's eyes never leave mine as our bodies find their rhythm.

I feel like he is looking into my very soul; as if everything I am is lain before him, and, to my great surprise, it seems like he likes what he sees.

I don't understand… How can he not see how black and shriveled my soul is?

Our movement continues - him pulling back just enough to plunge into me again, each stroke a perfect riot of sensation, hitting me deep inside, bringing me closer to the precipice.

Sweat is beading on our bodies as our rhythm increases. Edward's face is so beautiful over me I feel my emotion overwhelming me. His hooded, lustful eyes are slightly unfocused, and I can tell from the tense rigidity of his body he must be getting close.

I am so close, every muscle in my body is straining towards orgasm.

Our bodies have picked up a frantic pace. Edward's thrusting has become frantic, and his hair is now damp with perspiration.

I thrash wildly beneath him, whimpering my need for release. "Edward…Oh God! Edward…please…please…"

Edward moves a hand between us as he continues to thrust, pinching my clit ever so slightly at the same moment his mouth sucks fervently at my breast.

I am hurled over the edge. My walls clamp and twitch around Edward as he still pumps in and out of me. Like a volcano I explode, clutching Edward to me, arching upward, high-pitched panting bouncing off the walls.

Edward moves at an impossible pace, suddenly bursting into me with series of long, low grunts.

I feel the warmth of his fluids fill me, and his face is relaxed, blissful.

The beauty and emotion of this night hits me, and I feel the tears burning hot on my cheeks.

In one swift movement, Edward pulls out of me and cradles me to his chest. "Shhh… Tell me what's wrong, Bella."

I sniffle a few times and place several kisses on his chest, trying to wrap my mind around the emotion that fills me.

"Nothing is wrong, Edward. I'm just…just happy."

Edward's lips meet the top of my head as he pulls me tighter against him, and I fall into the deepest, most blissful sleep of my life.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you for reading, please leave me your thoughts!**


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to my dear friend and beta, Justine...you are the bomb, baby! Thanks to 'the girls' for your amazing support and love!**

**~XXXX~  
**

**BPOV**

I'm not sure what wakes me up. Maybe it's because I need to go to the bathroom…maybe it's because I'm wrapped around the hottest man alive.

I move my head slowly from Edward's shoulder, trying not to wake him. I rake my eyes over his naked form.

I didn't take the time last night to really look at him. His perfect muscles ripple gently under his skin. I can't help myself, I run my fingers gently over his chest, pushing the soft hair back and forth. He sighs softly and moves his head on his pillow but remains asleep.

My fingers continue their exploration, moving across the lightly contoured muscles of his stomach.

He is so beautiful, it almost pains me… I continue to move my fingers down, tracing along his hip bone. God, every inch of him is just magnificent.

I look up at his face – so peaceful. He still hasn't stirred, so I take a chance and very gently lift the sheet that sits right at his hip.

_Wow!_ He is beautiful _everywhere_!

I have never checked out a man like this before – in such an intimate way.

James had never wanted me to sleep in the bed with him. I usually slept in the guest room, and every other guy had been a one-night-stand type of situation. Even with Jasper, we always met at a hotel.

I feel greedy as I my eyes pass over his flesh, drinking him in.

Warmth spreads through my body – not arousal, something different…something new.

In this moment I want nothing more than to do something for Edward.

I press my lips softly to the skin on his chest before sliding out of bed.

**EPOV**

Consciousness meets my awareness in a flood of hazy memories…Bella!

Her amazing body is all I can see in my mind. Her soft, supple skin is all I can feel in my hands. Her moans, her sighs fill my ears.

I reach for her, wanting to feel her pressed tightly to my chest.

"Bella?"

She's gone!

"Bella!"

My mind is frantic. I know her history with men, but I thought last night was different to her. I thought I was different to her.

I scan my room for my phone. Nothing. I must have left it in the kitchen.

I slide into a pair of lounge pants, not bothering with a shirt.

Opening the bedroom door, I'm slammed by the rich scents of coffee, bacon, and cinnamon.

"Bella?"

I follow the smells and my now growling stomach to the kitchen.

Bella is in my kitchen, standing at my counter, looking more beautiful than ever.

My breath actually catches just from the sight of her. Her warm brown hair is spilling all around her shoulders in messy waves, and, fuck me, she is wearing one of my t-shirts! I had no idea a plain white t-shirt could look so hot, but it does on her. And as if that isn't torture enough, I can see her panties playing peek-a-boo under my shirt, the word beautiful spelled out in sparkly letters, stretched across her gorgeously rounded ass.

A groan escapes my lips as I walk toward her. I'm hard again, wanting her hot little body pressed against me.

Bella spins to face me at the sound of my voice. Her whole face lights up with a smile, and I smirk as I watch her eyes take in my half-naked form, noting the hungry look in her eyes.

I slip my arms around her waist and down over her perfect ass and pull her tightly against me, bringing her lips to mine and sucking her warm bottom lip.

I give her a few more short kisses before pulling away. "Good morning, baby. What smells so good?"

Bella lowers her lips to my chest, trailing their softness across my skin. "I made you breakfast – French toast and bacon."

Her lips are like heaven against me… Even as good as the food smells all I want to do is sweep it all off the counter and fuck her senseless right here in my kitchen.

"Edward Cullen, are you growling?"

Am I?

I suppose I did, but seeing Bella like this is driving me mad with desire for her. So yeah, maybe I growled at her a little. No one should look this tempting first thing in the morning.

I give her a shrug because I really don't know what to say about my reaction.

To my surprise, Bella reaches behind me to pinch my ass. "Come on, cutie, lets eat."

I have never seen her playful like this, and I have to say I really like it.

I wolf down my breakfast, stuffing myself with Bella's delicious food.

"Baby, I'm going to go jump in the shower. I'll help you clean up when I get out."

Bella smiles widely at me. "Don't worry, I've got things here. Enjoy your shower."

Damn, I was hoping she would have wanted to join me in the shower. Ah well, maybe another time.

Closing my eyes, I relax in the water, letting my thoughts drift to Bella. Last night replays in my mind, lingering on details. Like the feel of her perfect hands on my body, the way she pressed them to my chest. I can almost feel them there now, the memory of their warmth still making itself known on my flesh.

My imagination is better than I thought as I feel the sensation of Bella's hand move down my chest, spreading flat across my stomach, continuing their path along my happy trail.

Uhhh… Look what this woman is doing to me. I'm losing my mind just imagining her hands on me.

My eyes fly open when I feel a warm hand grab my dick firmly.

Bella has slipped soundlessly into my shower and is standing naked before me, her hand sliding along my now throbbing erection. "You are just too tempting, Mr. Cullen. I assume you don't mind if I join you."

I can't even answer her, my entire brain is overcome with desire as I watch her tiny hand wrap around me, moving at an intoxicatingly slow pace.

I can't help the low groan that escapes my lips, nor the movement of my hips as I thrust forward into her hand.

Bella's lips curl in a smug grin at my reaction, and it's that grin that sets my desire loose. I crash my lips hard into hers, our tongues meeting in a dance of desperation. I waste no time in pulling Bella tightly against me, trapping her hand between our bodies.

Her lips move from mine and start working along my jaw, up toward my ear, and then her warm breath hits me as she speaks. "I want you, Edward."

Bella's words are my undoing, and I grab her ass tightly between my fingers, pulling her upward and pushing her eagerly against the wall.

Her sharp gasp of breath draws my attention and I let go of her immediately. "Shit, Bella, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!"

I move my eyes over Bella's body, trying to see where she's hurt, but she is hampering my efforts by pulling my arms back around her.

"I'm not hurt, Edward, the tiles are just cold."

Oh!

I move my lips back to her skin, sucking along her neck as I pull her back up again, slower this time, easing her against the wall of my shower. I plunge eagerly into her warm, wet depths and am greeted with a long, low groan from Bella. My mind can barely hold onto my thoughts. They are scattered, filled with need. I am hypnotized by Bella's breasts as they bounce and jiggle before me. I run my tongue between and over them, greedily lapping the water that is peppering her body, causing her to quiver. I wish I could drink all water – from now on – off her luscious skin. I push into her harder, faster, needing to be deeper inside her, thrilling at the tightening grip of her around me.

I plunge into her again and again, each thrust bringing me closer to the edge, "Bella, I need you to cum for me, baby."

I increase my pace within her, my fingers gripping her hips, her hard nipples rubbing against my chest as her body arches to meet mine. I feel her muscles tighten and spasm around me, pulling me further in.

My breath catches as I watch her unravel in front of me, her head thrown back, mouth hanging slightly open, ecstasy written on every feature.

"God, Bella, ughhhhh."

My entire body is overcome, and the waves of heat roll through me as I spill into her, thrusting a few more times. I start to feel the weakness in my legs as my body comes down from my orgasmic high.

Bella slides down my body easily, peppering me with kisses before resting her forehead against my chest.

I press my lips to the top of her head, kissing her soaking hair and holding her tightly to me.

This is, hands down, the best shower of my life!

**~xx~**

Two days…how can it only have been two days since I was with Bella? I've talked to her on the phone, but it has been two long days since I held her in my arms.

I am literally aching for her. I feel it in my entire body. I don't know how I'm going to make it through my next assignment. I just got off the phone with my editor. He told me I will be headed to Alaska for two weeks. I leave in four days.

I'm surprised Bella answers her door after the first knock. I wasn't even sure she would be home, but I just had to see her.

I need to tell her I'm leaving soon and, frankly, I just need her.

"Edward! I wasn't expecting you. Is everything alright? You look…stressed."

I scoop her into my arms before I even answer her, burying my face in her flowing hair and just breathing her in.

Her voice is muffled against my neck as she says, "Edward, are you sure you're alright?"

I feel a bit ridiculous now, having worried Bella. I just needed to see her, to feel her.

I give Bella one more squeeze before setting her down and casting my eyes downward to meet hers.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine. I just needed a hug."

Bella tightens her arms around me and places a soft kiss on my neck. "Come on, I'll make you some dinner."

I follow willingly as she pulls me into her kitchen. My eyes follow Bella's every movement as she busies herself, opening cupboards, pulling out ingredients. She is truly in her element in the kitchen.

"So… My editor called me. I have a new assignment."

Bella stopped for a moment and turned to look at me. "Where to?"

"Alaska for two weeks."

A brief flash of sadness crosses Bella's face before her expression turns neutral. "Oh…well I'm sure you will have fun."

I step slowly to Bella and run my fingers under her chin, forcing her eyes up to mine. "You know it's okay if you miss me."

Bella's smile is bright as her eyes meet mine. "I will miss you."

I brush my lips softly over hers. "I will miss you, too."

The steak and potatoes Bella made for dinner are, of course wonderful, but I feel a little guilty for intruding on Bella's evening.

Finishing up my second helping, I lay my fork down beside my plate. "I guess I'll go now, baby. Thanks for dinner. It was great."

Bella's movements are slow as she makes her way to my chair and takes my hands in hers.

Her voice is soft as she lowers herself to my lap and straddles my thighs.

"Edward, I would like you to stay." Her lips are soft against the stubble on my jaw, working their way up to my ear. "Take me to bed, Edward."

**~xx~**

I stare up at the dark ceiling, listening to Bella's soft breathing beside me, feeling her breasts press into my side with each breath.

She is such an amazing woman. And the way she makes me feel…I'm not sure I even have words to describe it.

I squeeze her tighter to me, placing a kiss on her forehead before I drift off to sleep, snuggled up with my girl.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read, please let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER**

**A/N: Thank you so much to my fabulous beta and friend, Justine...you are amazing! My girls, thank you for always being there for me!**

**~XXXX~  
**

**EmPOV**

I love Rose's ass. It's like the perfect ass. I wonder if she'll hit me if I bite it…just a little nibble.

"Ow! Fuck, Rose! What the hell was that for?" I rub my head where she hit me, wondering if I was talking out loud or something.

"You are such a jackass, Emmett. I have been talking to you and you aren't even pretending to listen."

I drag my eyes upward from her ass, trying to focus on her face as she looks at me over her shoulder "Sorry, babe, but you know it's hard for me to concentrate when you are laying here all naked. What were you saying?"

I can tell by the smug look on Rose's face I'm forgiven. She loves when I worship her body.

"I was talking about Bella."

I am definitely listening now.

"What about Bella?"

Rose narrows her eyes at me and I can tell she is thinking about whether or not to tell me what's on her mind.

"Come on, babe, you can talk to me."

I'm distracted for a minute as Rose turns over and I get a good view of her boobs. Mmmmm…boobs!

Crap! I better pay attention before Rose gets pissed at me again.

"I'm worried about her, Em."

What? Bella seems fine to me, better than I've ever seen her, actually.

"She seems fine to me."

"Emmett, she is lying to herself. She is not dealing with her issues. She's hiding."

Man… I don't want to argue with Rose, but I should say something.

"Rosie…I know you think you failed Bella, but give her a break, maybe she just needs to work this stuff out on her own."

I start stroking her thigh, hoping to comfort her and move things in a different direction. I really don't want to talk about Bella while I'm naked in bed with my woman.

"That is just it, Emmett. She can't do this on her own…she needs help."

"Well, babe, then we will help her all we can."

I'm more than ready for this discussion to be over. I can barely talk with Rose just lying here in front of me like some naughty buffet.

Haha…naughty buffet… I crack myself up. I am awesome!

**~xx~**

**BPOV**

I snake my arm through the crook of Felix's arm as we walk behind Demetri and Jane on a rare sunny day.

"So how are things, crazy bitch?"

I can't help but laugh. Felix always makes me laugh.

"How are things going with your man?"

My man? Hmm? Surprisingly, I really like the sound of that.

"We're really good, Felix. Thanks."

"You miss him don't you?"

God! I miss him so much it hurts – and it has only been a couple days. Gah! I am so utterly pathetic.

"Umm…yeah…I do miss him…a lot actually."

Felix stops me and looks down at me with a serious face. "Bella, you look worn out. Are you feeling okay?"

I honestly did try to sleep, but I was finding it hard to sleep without Edward. I missed his warmth and feeling his heart beat under my cheek as my head lay on his chest.

We had spent every night together from the first night we made love till he left.

"Oh…umm…I haven't really been sleeping well."

Felix's eyebrows furrow with deep concern at my words. "What is bothering you, Bella?"

Wow! Felix must be really concerned; he never calls me Bella. I feel bad for being so mopey. I can't believe Edward's absence is affecting me so much. Color floods my face as I start to think of some of the specifics of why I miss sleeping next to Edward.

Felix throws his head back and howls with laughter. "I know what your problem is, girl! You are missing your man's loving!"

"Don't say that!"

Felix eyes me, exasperation spreading across his face. "It's only an expression, Bella."

What a stupid expression! Edward can't love me…he just can't. I feel a little queasy. I'm just overreacting…right?

Yeah, that must be it. I just miss Edward, which is normal, right?

He is my boyfriend; it's okay to miss him, and he definitely doesn't love me. He just can't. I won't let him. I argue with myself while Felix watches on, impatience evident in his stance.

"Yeah, okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

Hesitation is written across his face. "Bella…," he pauses to look in my eyes. "I'm going to tell you something you may not want to hear. I don't know everything about your past, and I'm not asking you to tell me, but I do know you were hurt by people you loved and trusted. Bella, not everyone is like that. You know there are people that care about you."

Nodding my head, I drop my gaze and continue to follow Demetri and Jane, Felix falling into step beside me.

I hear his words, I even understand them, but that doesn't mean I believe them.

I just want to shrug this conversation off, pretend it never happened. I want to enjoy this rare sunny afternoon.

"Janie…come with Auntie Bella and I will push you in the swing."

I take the towheaded youngster into my arms and walk to the playground with her, leaving Demetri and Felix to sit and gossip.

I don't want to hear what they are saying…ignorance is bliss.

**~xx~**

"Come on, Emmett… What is bugging you?"

He shrugs his meaty shoulders, not meeting my eyes.

My punch lands square in his gut.

Wow! Something is really eating at him – I never get a hit this easily.

I immediately stop my circling and give Emmett a concerned look. "Is everything alright, Emmett?"

Emmett lets out a huge sigh. "Well, Bella…you are kinda the problem. Rose is really worried about you. She thinks she failed you."

I can feel the anger bubbling under my skin, coursing through me like fire, threatening to erupt like a volcano. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean!"

Emmett takes a step back and raises his hands in front of him. "Don't start this with me, Bella. You asked me what was wrong…so I told ya."

The volcano is erupting. I can't stop myself, even if I want to.

"I don't need Rose to save me, Emmett! I don't need anybody!

I can see the hurt and anger in Emmett's face, and I know I have gone too far, but I can't bring myself to apologize.

"I am so sick of this shit outta you. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you all the time! People care about you, Bella…whether you like it or not and you need to fucking figure that out before you drive away everyone in your life.

I can't move. I just watch Emmett in stunned silence as he throws his boxing gloves to the ground and stalks off to the locker room.

Not once in the time I have known him has he ever yelled at me.

I feel the familiar hurt start, it's a clawing ache in my chest.

This is it…this is the reason not to let people into your life…in the end they will all betray you.

Fine. If this is how he wants to be, you won't see me crawling back and begging him or Rose for their friendship.

**~xx~**

Tuesday just fucking sucks!

I drank so much last night I passed out on my kitchen floor.

The throbbing in my head is compounded by the shrill ringing of my phone – which I cannot find.

I stumble my way into my living room, fumbling through my purse as I search for my phone.

"Hello." My voice is scratchy and still a bit slurred.

"Bella? Is that you? Are you okay?"

Oh God…it's Edward.

I don't want him knowing that I practically drank myself into a coma. "Umm…yeah…hi. I'm just not feeling well."

"Go get some rest, baby. I'm sorry you're sick. Do you want me to call my mom, have her come check on you?"

I try and keep my voice calm; I don't want a witness to my drunken stupor. "Thanks, Edward, but I'm okay. It's just a headache. I'll be fine after I get some sleep."

"Ok, baby, if you're sure. I miss you… Call or text me when you get up."

I feel the concern in his voice, and I feel bad for making him worry, not to mention lying to him. The hate I feel for myself grows a little more.

"I will. Miss you, too. Bye."

I crawl gratefully into my bed, looking forward to sleep taking me, to forgetting everything that is weighing on my mind.

_"Mom…please! You have to help me."_

_I know James will be home any minute, and I know he'll be mad._

_He hates hot weather, not that it happens often in Seattle._

_"Please, Mom, please! I'm begging you."_

_"Isabella! Get a hold of yourself! You are overreacting. You're always so dramatic."_

_Why won't she listen to me? Why won't she help?_

_"But, Mom…he'll…he'll hit me."_

_My back still stings from the last time James got angry. God, of all the days for the air conditioner to stop working…it's the one hot day here._

_"Isabella, need I remind you that this family does not air its dirty laundry in public. You and James need to work out your problems in private."_

_I look at the clock in a panic…almost five-thirty…he'll be here any minute._

_"Please! Can't you just ask Dad to talk to him."_

_"No! I will not bother your father with your problems, and you will never speak of this to me again._

_The phone feels like a dead weight in my hand as the line clicks on the other end and goes dead._

_I'm alone._

_There is no one I can call._

_I have no friends, and I won't burden Renee and Charlie with this._

_I take the familiar walk to the liquor cabinet, grabbing the bottle of vodka._

_Not bothering with a glass, I just chug it directly from the bottle. I savor the burn of the clear liquid, knowing it won't take away the pain that is coming. But at least it will dull my mind, making it all seem less real._

_And then I hear it…the garage door opening._

_I sit on the couch, waiting. There is no point in hiding, it will just make him angrier._

_"Why the fuck is it so hot in this house? Isabella! Get your ass in the bedroom now!"_

My chest is heaving, and the sweat is poring off of me in buckets. My heart is beating so hard it feels like it is going to burst out of my chest.

It's been a while since I had a nightmare my parents were in.

I'm not even sure why this one is bothering me so much. Compared to the ones I usually have, this one is nothing.

I scrub my hands over my in effort to remove the images from my brain – as thought that will help.

My heart aches, and I can feel the tears threatening to pour from my eyes. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling weak.

Right now I wish, more than ever, that Edward was here with me. I miss him, and I want nothing more than to be able to bury my face against his chest and feel his arms around me.

I stumble my way to my kitchen, needing some coffee to clear the sleep and hangover and nightmare from my brain.

Opening the cupboard filled with spices, coffee, and filters, I'm surprised to see a small note taped to the edge of the shelf, just below my spice rack.

You spice up my life, is written in Edward's elegant script.

My heart squeezes in the most delightfully painful way.

What is this man doing to me?

I search for my phone – I need to say something to him.

Edward's phone rings and rings before finally going to voice mail.

"Hey, it's me. Thank you for the note you left me. It was just…just…perfect. Thank you. I'll call you later. Bye."

I miss him so much right now. The strength of the emotions welling inside me now are so confusing. I want him near me every second…but I am so afraid.

I fear the emotions I feel stirring. I fear I'm starting to really care for him, and that thought scares me more than anything.

Thoughts and feelings swirl around me like a vortex.

I need to clear my head and do some deep thinking.

I make my coffee and drink it slowly, picking through the thoughts in my mind.

I know what I should do. I should do the same thing I did with Jasper. I should let Edward go.

Just the thought of doing that sends a stab of pain right through me.

I'm in such unfamiliar territory. I feel like there are two sides of me at war with each other. There is the fearful side…the side that wants to run from Edward, to protect myself from the hurt that he could cause me. Then there is the side that wants to cling to Edward, that wants to care for him and let him care for me.

As much as I hate to admit it…I need someone to talk to about all this.

I flip open my phone and quickly find the only name I can think of.

**~xx~**

**RENEE POV**

"Bella! You sound awful, sweetie. Is everything alright?"

"Umm…is it…I mean do you…do you have time to talk with me?"

"Of course, honey. Talk away."

Poor girl sounds miserable. I hope it isn't anything serious.

"Actually, do you mind if I come to the house?"

"You are always welcome here, Bella. I'll see you in a bit."

I hang up the phone, wondering and worrying. Luckily I don't have to wait for too long before a knock sounds at the door.

"Come on in, Bella. I'm in the kitchen," I call.

Oh…that girl! I think frantically when she comes into view. My God, she looks even worse than she sounded. I really hope she hasn't broken up with Edward. That boy is good for her…whether she knows it or not.

"Hey, sweetie. Why don't you come sit down and tell me what's on your mind." I watch Bella as she moves gingerly to take a seat at the table across from me. I can tell by the way she's squinting her eyes she is hung over. "So what was it this time?"

Bella eyes meet mine and they are filled with confusion.

"Don't give me that look, Bella, like you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you. Now who or what made you so angry you drank yourself into a stupor?"

I watch Bella's face turn bright red. Well at least she is ashamed…I guess that's something.

"Ummm…Emmett said some things that pissed me off."

"Now was he being a jerk…or was he telling you the truth?"

The way Bella shifts her eyes to her lap tells me all I need to know. I love this girl to death, but she really frustrates me sometimes.

"Emmett isn't the reason I came to talk to you…I want to talk about Edward."

I can barely form words; I am so shocked. Not once in all the years that I have known Bella has she ever wanted to talk about a boy. I hope this is a good sign. I wait in silence for Bella to start talking.

"I'm…confused…about Edward."

"You are going to have to tell me a little more than that, Bella."

My heart goes out to Bella. I can see she is struggling with whatever is in her head.

I reach across the table and pat her hand lightly. "Just tell me the best you can, dear."

"I don't…know what to do. I'm scared."

"Of Edward?" Oh, God, what did he do to her?

Bella looks at me in confusion for a moment before her features turn to a look of shocked horror. "No! Nothing like that! I'm scared of how I feel for him."

Relief washes through me; the last thing Bella needs is more abuse. "I'm not sure I understand, Bella."

She twists her fingers in her lap. Wow…she is really bothered.

"I want to trust Edward…and I want to let him in…I…I just don't know if I can."

"Bella, when are you going to stop punishing yourself for everything that happened with James? He is a sadistic son-of-a-bitch. Nothing that happened was your fault."

Bella continues to twist her fingers in her lap, and her rejection of my words is written all over her face. She still believes she is partly to blame.

"Is Edward good to you, Bella?"

Bella's voice is sure and strong as she answers me, "Yes! He is wonderful, actually…like a dream."

"How do you feel when you are with him?"

I'm surprised to see tears fill Bella's eyes. "I feel happier than I ever have every time I'm near him."

"And how do you feel now…when he's gone?"

"I miss him…a lot. I feel anxious, and I wish he was back here."

I stand up and walk to Bella's side, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, pulling her tightly against me. "Bella, have you considered you might be falling for Edward?"

"I can't…that…no…no…I won't allow that to happen!"

Big tears roll down Bella's face.

I pull her even tighter to me. "You are a good person, Bella. You deserve someone good in your life."

I hope Bella is taking my words to heart, though I have a feeling she won't.

**~xx~**

**BPOV**

Wednesday dawns with the chilly gloom that is typical of Seattle.

I am totally not in the mood to see Alice, but I don't want to disappoint her, so I drag myself out of bed and head for the shower.

My phone is ringing by the time I step from the shower.

"Hello, Alice."

"You're late, Bella."

"I know. I'm sorry…I was having a hard time getting started this morning."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Swan. Are you dressed?"

"Umm, no. Why?"

"Well, don't. I'm on my way up. I'll pick out an outfit for you."

"Alice…"

"Not another word, Bella. I'm picking out your clothes, so just deal with it."

Ugh…Alice is in dress-up mode. Why can't she just get damn poodle or something? I hate being her fucking Barbie doll, but I'm in no mood to argue. I'll be good and wear whatever she picks out.

I swear it isn't five minutes before I hear frantic knocking heralding Alice's arrival.

I slip into my robe before twisting the deadbolt and am met by the tiny, whirling dervish that is Alice.

"Oh, good, you're not dressed. I'll pick out an outfit that will make you look fuck-hot!"

I roll my eyes at Alice. She is over-the-top insane.

I stand in my room, wrapped in my bathrobe, as Alice begins digging through my closet, throwing constant insults at my choices in clothing.

After much deliberation, Alice decides on a dark gray pair of pinstripe trousers and a pale lavender cashmere sweater. She tosses the clothes in my direction along with a heather gray push up bra and matching undies.

"Alice, what is the point of this outfit? Aren't we just going shopping or something?"

"We are going shopping and we're getting mani-pedi's, and I'm tired of being seen in public with Bella the Hobo. Now get dressed!"

I scowl at Alice, letting her know I am not happy about today's planned activities. She answers by poking her tongue in my direction as she spins on her heel and leaves me to dress.

**~xx~**

I relax into the feeling of pampering while Alice and I sit side by side, enjoying our pedicures.

"See, Bella. Now wasn't that fun?"

I pull my head off the back of my chair to shoot daggers at Alice.

"I don't know what planet you come from, Alice, but there is no way that spending hours at Nieman Marcus is fun."

"Whatever, Bella, you know you worship me, just admit it."

I laugh; I just can't be mad at Alice.

"How are things going with you and Jasper?"

Alice blushes slightly. That is unexpected. I didn't even think it was possible to embarrass Alice.

"Ummm…great! Everything is great."

I shoot Alice a quizzical look.

"Bella, you don't seriously want me to sit here and gush about Jasper, do you?"

"Alice, I don't mind if you talk about him…seriously. It doesn't bother me at all."

Alice's face goes from uncertainty to elation in a matter of seconds. "Oh, Bella, I can't thank you enough for setting us up! God, he's perfect! I mean, really…absolutely perfect! He's smart and funny and sensitive and, Bella, I think I love him already."

Shock is the only thing in my mind right now.

Love? How can she…I mean they just met! My thoughts are scrambled as I try to work this out.

"Aren't you scared, Alice?"

Alice looks at me with genuine confusion, and I know I need to explain myself.

"To…love someone – aren't you afraid?"

Alice's face eases into an indulgent smile and she shrugs. "Oh…I suppose there is always some apprehension with new relationships, but that feeling of wanting someone so much and needing them so much…it's just the best feeling in the world. For me it just drives any fear out the window."

I consider her words before I speak again. "Aren't you afraid he will betray you or stop loving you or something?"

Alice laughs at this point. "Bella, you are such a pessimist. If you never risk anything, then you will never gain anything."

When did Alice become so philosophical?

"How do you know, Alice?"

"Know what?"

"When you love someone."

Alice's face is aglow with an excited kind of wonderment.

"You just know, Bella. You can feel it…deep down inside you and all across your skin, and when you are with that person, everything in your whole world is right."

Alice has given me lots to consider. I lean my head back onto my chair and let my mind drift, tumbling over my jumbled thoughts.

**~xx~**

I settle back into my pillow with my phone pressed to my ear, waiting for Edward to pick up.

"Hey, baby! How are you?"

"Tired. Alice had me out shopping half the day."

"Did you buy anything sexy?"

"Hmmmm, maybe I did and maybe I didn't."

He groans into the phone, and, I swear, that may be the sexiest sound I have ever heard.

"What are you wearing, baby?"

"Who says I'm wearing anything at all?"

"Are you trying to kill me here, woman!"

I laugh out loud because I can practically feel his desire through the phone.

"I need to let you go now, Bella. I have to be back up in a couple hours, but I just had to hear your voice. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Edward."

"I'll call you tomorrow, Bella. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I miss his voice the second I pull the phone from my ear.

I snuggle down under my covers, closing my eyes and let my mind drift. It drifts to one place…Edward.

I think of the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the way he touches me.

I'm drifting off to dreamland, where there is only Edward and me.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading, please leave me your thoughts!**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thanks to my fabulous beta, Justine, you are the best EVER!**

**EPOV**

I look out the window of the plane for, what must be, the thousandth time. I don't know why, because we are still at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet and two hours out from Seattle, but I can't help it; I'm anxious to be back with my girl.

This has been the longest three weeks of my life. I hope I was able to get all the shots I needed. My brain was not in the game this trip. All I could think about every minute of every day was Bella… The way she looks, the way she smells, the sound of her voice calling my name in ecstasy, the feel of her bare skin against mine...

Crap! Now I'm getting hard. Not good, Cullen. Not good.

**~xx~**

I'm all but running through the airport once I get off the plane. Bella said she would wait for me near the baggage claim, and I am going out of my mind with anticipation to get to her.

I bump into several people as I weave through the crowds, barely watching where I walk as I scan the crowded baggage area for Bella, apologizing along the way.

My eyes rove over every brown-haired woman I see until I find my Bella.

There she is! She's leaning up against a pillar, scanning the throngs of people. She hasn't spotted me yet.

"Bella!"

Her head whips in my direction, her eyes light up when they meet mine, and I am moving toward her as fast as I can through the sea of people.

I'm magnetized, and Bella is metallic; we're drawn together by an invisible force, like a moth to a flame. Now she's here, right in front of me, and I feel whole.

Bella's smile brightens her whole face as I step to her and take her in my arms.

I do my best to suppress my desire to rip her clothes off here and now and take her on the floor. After all, I'm not into exhibition, and that can wait until we're alone. I just hope that doesn't take too long.

Relief washes through me as I press her to my chest, lifting her off her feet in my excitement. I want her as close to me as possible. I bury my face in her thick, flowing hair and just drink in her scent.

I have never missed anyone like this before. I'm amazed by how complete I feel having this woman in my arms.

"Bella, I really missed you." I can feel her smile against my neck and her warm lips press into my skin. "You better stop that, baby, or I may be forced to drag you into the bathroom and have my way with you." I attempt to growl at her, hoping it sounds sexy, but I'm afraid I only manage to sound goofy.

"Well, in that case, we better leave before we get arrested, because I am very disinclined to deny you right now."

I groan embarrassingly loud, and I know people must be staring at me. Frankly, I could care less.

"You are a minx, Miss Swan."

Bella grabs my hand and pulls me toward the baggage carousel. "Come on, let's get your stuff. Then you're coming to my place, and I'm making you dinner."

**~xx~**

Seeing Bella move around her kitchen is like watching a dance. She moves with such ease and skill; it's really quite breathtaking.

Bella turns quickly to grab something off the counter, but stops as soon as she catches my eyes on her.

Pushing myself from the wall I was leaning against, I walk slowly to Bella.

I see the longing in her eyes.

I reach my fingers out to her, grazing them across her cheek and down her neck. "Do you have any idea what seeing you look at me that way does to me?"

Her eyes are wide as she lifts them to gaze into mine – too open, too innocent. She knows exactly what she is doing.

I pull her tightly against me, my hips crushing her stomach, grinding slightly into her. "Now do you have an idea?"

A smirk plays on her lips as she moves her hand between us and rubs her palm over my straining hard-on, causing me to jerk my hips forward and moan low in my throat.

"Yes, I believe I have an idea now." Bella's voice is low and sultry, filled with a need that matches my own.

I crash my lips to hers, sucking her bottom lip deep into my mouth. I am frenzied in my need for her. I slide my hands down to Bella's ass, holding her tightly against me as our mouths consume each other.

It's all I can do to stumble along the hall to Bella's bedroom, our lips never breaking their contact.

We tug and pull at each other's clothes, and I can't get her stripped fast enough. I fall back onto Bella's bed, pulling her on top of me. She straddles me as she kisses my neck, sending shivers down my entire body, making me grow harder than I already am. I thrust my hips toward her as she presses her smoothly shaven bits against me.

Our bodies continue to rub against each other as I gently grab her face and pull her lips to mine. God, I want this woman.

Bella pushes up from my chest as she grinds against me. I want her so badly, to be inside her. My hands cup her breasts and then slowly run down her sides, around to her firm ass and then onto her hips. Bella slides further up my hips positioning herself over me perfectly as she leans back while I push my way inside her.

God!

She feels like heaven around me. I know I won't last long as I start driving into her, watching her breasts in their hypnotic dance over me.

Bella is gorgeous on top of me. Her milky skin is covered in a sheen of sweat; her hair is cascading wildly around her slim shoulders; her hips are gyrating under my hands as we move against each other, and even though I'm buried inside her, I still want more.

I move my hand up Bella's body, grazing her nipple, to rest on her cheek.

"Open your eyes, baby, look at me."

A mix of emotions flick through Bella's eyes as she looks down at me, and I swear one of them is fear. I don't want her to fear me. I want her to trust me, to be sure of me.

My release is quick and hard, ecstasy washing over me in waves. I feel Bella tighten around me moments after I come, collapsing onto my chest, both of us breathing rapidly.

After a moment, I slide her off of me and tuck my arm around her, holding her snugly to my side.

I move my fingers lazily up and down her spine; she is doing the same through my chest hair.

**~xx~**

"What are you thinking, Bella?"

She doesn't answer immediately, and if it wasn't for the constant motion of her fingers over my chest, I would think she was asleep. "I was thinking you should never leave for three weeks again."

I chuckle softly at Bella's words. I had been thinking the same thing. "You know, you would be welcome to come with me on my next assignment, if you want to."

Bella looks at me wide-eyed for a moment before she answers. "Really? Umm…maybe. We'll see."

I'll admit, I'm a bit disappointed at her words. I was hoping she would be more excited, but it seems like she has something on her mind. It's always so difficult getting her to talk. Maybe a little story will help. I figure it's worth a shot.

"Did I ever tell you about the day I ran away?"

Bella's eyes are like saucers as she shakes her head curiosity burning in their brown depths.

"My birth mother was on her shift at the strip club, and I was hiding in the closet, just like I always did. I always brought a flashlight and magazines with me."

"What kind of magazines?"

Her question takes me by surprise. "Umm…National Geographic mostly."

I feel Bella's laughter softly against my side. "That's kind of funny, ya know. Now you take pictures for them."

The irony isn't lost on me, and I smirk into her hair.

"I've always loved photos. There is so much ability to lose yourself in one. Anyway, as I was saying, I was in the dressing room closet, curled up on some old, dirty clothes, looking at my magazines.

I heard my mother come into the dressing area…with…a...umm...client. I remember the man asking her if she could go somewhere with him. She didn't hesitate; she didn't check on me. She just left. I waited for her awhile, but, Bella…I was a smart kid, not trying to brag, but I was. I knew she didn't really love me. She didn't hate me, she endured me, so I left. I picked up my flashlight and my magazines…and I just left."

I hear Bella gasp beside me, and glance down to see her looking up at me in horror.

"Bella?"

"Oh, Edward. How…how did you survive?"

I smile at her – her concern is touching.

"It wasn't very long before Emmett found me. I would ride public transportation all night, and I slept during the day in the library."

"How did you meet Emmett?"

I laugh out loud, thinking of the memory.

"I met him at an arcade. I went in to check the machines for spare change, and he saw me watching him. Well, Emmett was a pretty bright kid himself, and he could tell I was alone and hungry. He challenged me to play him at a video game. He said if I won, he would buy me lunch. I hadn't eaten in a day, so I said sure. I'm still convinced he let me win that game, though he denies it. After I won, I figured he would just get me something from the snack bar at the arcade. Instead, he took me back to his house…and to Esme."

Bella's eyes are soft as she looks at me, gently stroking my cheek. "Did she ever look for you?"

"You mean my birth mother? No."

Bella's face is thoughtful for a moment before she looks down, seeming to concentrate on swirling her fingers through my chest hair. "How do you do it, Edward?"

"Do what?"

"How do you stay so positive…so happy?"

"I have a wonderful family that I love dearly. I just choose to look at the blessings in my life and not focus on the bad. Besides, the bad part led to the good."

Bella says nothing, merely nods in acknowledgment.

"Bella, will you tell me about your childhood? About your parents?"

Silence meets my query, and I begin to wonder if Bella will answer me at all. I hold her tightly to me, stroking her shoulder and kissing her hair, trying to reassure her with my touch.

"Umm…well, what do you want to know?"

I want to know everything. I want to know every inch of this woman, inside and out.

"I don't know. Whatever you feel like sharing, I guess."

She sighs loudly before she continues speaking, and I swear it is the saddest sound I've ever heard.

"My earliest memories of my parents are watching them from the top of the stairs. We had a huge curving stair case in our house. I would always sit at the top when they would get ready for events, always hoping this time they would hug me goodbye or kiss my cheek. But they never did. Renee would sit next to me, just sit there and hold me. After they would leave, she would put me in bed before she went to her room."

"Renee lived with you?"

"Yes, both she and Charlie did, until I was ten. She did everything for me: fed me, played with me, took me to school."

I can tell it hurts Bella to think of these memories, so I stroke her cheek, trying to encourage her to go on. "You must love Renee and Charlie very much."

Bella looks at me with sadness heavy in her eyes. "I don't allow myself to love them."

"What? Why?"

Bella sighs again, and I think I see her eyes start to tear up before she lowers her gaze, shielding her eyes from me.

"'Cause what if they stop loving me, or change their mind…or what if they don't really love me at all."

It kills me to hear Bella torment herself like this. "Baby, I know Charlie and Renee love you. I could tell when I met them, and I'm sure your parents must care for you."

Bella's answering laugh is cold and bitter. "Well, since we're telling stories tonight, how about this one? Once upon a time there was a couple; this couple had one rule: protect their public image. So, this couple decided to have a child, because that would make them look good – it's what was expected of them. The couple had a daughter, and they named her Isabella. The couple hired all the right people to meet Isabella's needs; a nanny, tutors, cooks – all hired so they wouldn't have to do a thing for their daughter. Isabella was always quiet, always did what was expected of her, hoping to gain the love and approval of her parents.

"When Isabella grew up, she even married someone her parents wanted her to, someone who had a good public image. Isabella soon found how deceiving images can be. Her new husband beat her all the time, for no reason she could figure out. He would tell her how useless she was and how he only married her to further his career. Isabella reached out to her parents for help but they told her to be quiet, not to make waves, and keep everything hush-hush.

"Finally, one day, Isabella snapped, and when her husband came home, she was waiting for him with a pistol and she shot him. Unfortunately, she only hit him in the arm, so it didn't kill him. The police were never called, no incident reports were filed, everything was kept out of the public eye. Isabella agreed to go to a mental health facility under the guise of a mental breakdown. So how is that for story time, Edward? Is that the kind of stuff you wanted to know?"

I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to say to that. I'm in complete shock on so many levels. It hurts me to hear her talk about herself in the third person…like she is disconnected from herself, not putting any value in herself.

"Bella…I don't know what to say. Why didn't you tell me this before?

Bella glances at me for a moment before lowering her eyes again and shrugging. "Would you seriously have wanted to date me if you had known from the beginning?"

I lift Bella's chin so I can look her right in the eye. "Yes, I would have. Bella, why do your parents care so much about image any way?"

Bella's eyes are nervous as they dart back and forth. I can tell she wants to lower her gaze, but I keep my fingers firm under her chin. I want her to let me in.

"Umm…well, my parents are Peter and Charlotte Nomad."

"What? As in State Assemblyman Nomad?"

She nods her head, and words utterly fail me. I had no idea!

"So that's why! You were expected to be some fucking poster child to further his career!" I realize how my voice must sound, but I can't help the fury that I feel inside.

"Not exactly, Edward. I mean, my parents were in the spotlight before I was born. The expectation to keep up the facade of this perfect family life was always there, it was all I knew, but that doesn't mean I didn't want more from them."

Her statement doesn't mollify me. I still can't understand people like her parents.

"Bella, why did you agree to go to the mental health facility? Why not just expose this lie?"

I've never heard such a morose-sounding sigh in all my life. "So many reasons, Edward, so many. I knew James wouldn't want anything to do with me once I went in there, so divorcing him would be easy. It was also a way out with my parents. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't pretend anymore, so I struck a deal with them. I would go into the hospital under the pretense of a nervous breakdown in exchange for them giving me my inheritance and giving me a clean break."

I am so shocked I can hardly think. There is so much of herself she has kept hidden.

"How long were you there?"

"It was supposed to be a couple months, but in the end I was there almost a year."

"A year! Did something happen, Bella?"

Bella looks a little sheepish now. Gah! She is adorable!

"Well, when you go into a place like that, you have to see a shrink. I was very resistant to any counseling efforts. I spent quite a bit of time there in a rage. It was like once I finally let it out…I couldn't control it."

I'm just so shocked, I know I must just be gaping at her, but she doesn't seem to notice and keeps talking.

"That's how I met Rose. She was a part of my alternative therapy – a non-traditional counselor, part of a mentoring program for people with anger issues. They meet and speak with someone suffering with the same issues.

Bella lays her head back on my shoulder and once again starts running her fingers up and down my chest.

"Can I ask you something about your ex-husband, Bella?"

"Yes." Bella's voice is small and unsure as she answers me and I hope my question won't push her too much.

"Did you love him?"

I can feel Bella shrinking next to me, and I feel bad for asking this of her, but it's something I need to know.

"I thought I did…or I thought I should, anyway. For years, even when he beat me, I felt it was my duty to love him. That if I tried harder or was better maybe he and my parents would love me back. I have always been angry and disgusted with myself for never being good enough for them to love me."

Her words cut me to the bone. How could she think these horrible things about herself?

I wish I knew the right words to say to her. I want to be a balm for her wounded heart, but I can say nothing. Emotion is choking me.

All I'm able to manage is a simple kiss to her forehead as I pull her even closer and hold her tighter against me.

**~xx~**

Bella is asleep against me. I think our talk left her emotionally exhausted.

I feel exhausted myself, but sleep has yet to claim me.

I waited for Bella to fall asleep I did some serious thinking and came to some conclusions.

I love this woman!

I am head over heels, irrevocably in love with the woman in my arms, and she needs to know it.

I have also concluded that she needs to know how many people really do love her and hopefully someday she'll be able to love herself in return.

I slip out of Bella's grip and search for my pants that are somewhere on her floor.

Once I locate them and dig my phone from my pocket, I make the phone call that I pray Bella won't come to hate me for.

**~xx~**

"Emmett?"

"Edward? Why the fuck are you calling me so late?"

"Is Rose there?"

"Yeah…why?"

"May I talk to her, please?"

"Why? What's going on?"

I know it's late, but when did Emmett become such a pain in the ass? "For Christ's sake, Emmett, can you just put Rose on the damn phone?"

"Fine…here she is."

I can hear mumbling and shuffling, and I know I should feel bad about waking them, but I don't. This is for Bella.

"Hello, Edward."

"I'm really sorry to wake you, Rose, but I need your help…with Bella."

"Anything. Just tell me what you need."

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you all for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO THE REMARKABLE STEPHANIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to my super awesome beta…love ya! To my beautiful sisters Justine, Alice and Kathie … your support has been amazing and I don't know what I would do without you…love you so much!**

**To all my readers who have stayed with me and been patient, I wish I could thank you all by name, but know that I cherish you all!**

**~XXXX~**

**Esme POV**

"Rosalie, are you sure this is the best thing to do? I'm just really worried about what Bella will do"

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Esme, this is going to be hard, and there is a chance that Bella could be really angry with all of us, but what if it helps? What if this is what she needs?"

I'm still worried, but how can I say no?

When my boy called to tell me how much he loves Bella, and his thoughts for helping her, I could hear the pleading in his voice, begging me to help, to understand. I love both of my sons tremendously, and Lord knows there is no one that can make me laugh like Emmett, but Edward and I have always been close. He is my boy.

Rosalie puts her arm around my shoulder. "I really do think this could help Bella, and Doctor Garrett has had lots of success with these types of interventions."

I know Rosalie is right, but I'm still worried.

"How soon till they get here, Rose?"

"Edward just called, said they were walking out the door, so...fifteen minutes. Twenty tops."

**~xx~**

**BPOV**

"Edward, what is going on?"

I don't like this at all.

All Edward will tell me is that we are going over to his parents' house. I don't really like surprises, but it can't be bad. I mean, it's just Esme and Carlisle.

**~xx~**

I'm surprised by the number of cars in front of the Cullen's house when we pull into the drive. Is this a party? Should I have brought a gift?

"Edward, is this a party? I didn't bring anything."

Edward takes my hand as he helps me out of the car and pulls me to him. "It's not that kind of gathering, Bella."

"And I don't suppose I can get you to tell me what is going on." I press my lips to his neck, while I allow my hand to travel down the front of his pants, hoping to use my feminine wiles to my advantage.

Edward traps my hand against him with his own hand before I can start having fun. "Don't, Bella. People are expecting us. Let's go."

Edward pulls away from me and starts guiding me toward the front door, his arm firmly across my lower back. He doesn't pause to knock, but merely strides right in the front door. I hear murmurs coming from down the hall, from the family room. All goes quiet as Edward announces our arrival.

The silence is so loud it's almost deafening. Knots are beginning to twist themselves in my stomach. I don't like how things feel. What is going on?

"Edward?"

His lips meet my temple, and he pulls me into his body.

"Trust me, Bella."

I nod my head once and allow Edward to lead me further into the house.

We go down the hall, past the kitchen, past the dining room, and into the family room.

I stop short and press my face into Edward's side. The room is full of people.

**~xx~**

Turning my gaze back to the room, and the individuals surrounding me, I swallow a gulp of fear.

The eyes that look back at me are mostly filled with sympathy and concern. A few people look worried. Virtually everyone I know is sitting or standing in front of me. I turn my eyes to Edward and am surprised by what I see; he looks slightly guilty. What in the hell is going on?

Rosalie is approaching me now, followed by a tall, gangly man with kind, watery blue eyes.

"Bella, this is Doctor Garrett. He would like to speak with you."

I glare at Rose with suspicion.

Doctor Garrett pokes his long, thin hand in my direction. "Ms. Swan, I'm Doctor Garrett. I specialize in intervention mediation."

I push myself from Edward and turn to glare at him. "_You knew_!"

My vision blurs in my anger. How could Edward do this to me?

"Bella, please calm down."

I feel my rage building, ready to boil over. I can't control it. I want to hit Edward and scream at him. _Why_? Why would he do this to me!

I can feel the hot, angry tears burning in my eyes as I look to him, pushing hard against his chest. "_Tell me why_!"

I feel hands grabbing my arms, restraining me, pulling me back from Edward.

Emmett's voice is in my ear. "Calm down, Bella."

**~xx~**

I thrash and pull against Emmett and Felix, who are holding me tight.

Doctor Garrett approaches me and starts talking. "Ms. Swan, please get a hold of yourself."

Anger pulses from every pore of my being. I want to scream and rage at everyone in the room. I'm practically snarling in Doctor Garrett's face, rejecting his attempts to calm me. I pull and twist my body in Emmett and Felix's grip, but they hold me still. I'm no match for them.

To my great surprise, Doctor Garrett grabs my face between his hands and looks me right in the eye as he speaks. "Ms. Swan! Enough! Stop being so selfish. Look what you are doing to the people around you."

His words are sharp, stabbing me like a knife.

I lift my red-rimmed, anger-filled eyes and what I see before me takes my breath away.

Renee is crying softly, her face buried against Charlie's shoulder. Charlie's eyes are bloodshot. Esme's eyes are brimming with unshed tears while Carlisle's hand sits on her shoulder…comforting her. Esme's eyes aren't on me, though. I follow her gaze until my eyes land on Edward. What I see causes everything in my body to stop. I go limp in Emmett and Felix's grip.

Edward is standing right behind Doctor Garrett, agony written on every feature.

His eyes are wide, his brow furrowed; worry lines crease his forehead. One hand is tugging on the ends of his hair. I have hurt him. A new feeling is taking over the anger…sorrow…look what I have done.

"Ms. Swan, are you ready to listen to me now?"

I nod my head once. I feel weak, and my anger is spent. Doctor Garrett nods at Emmett and Felix, and they release me.

The room seems to collectively hold its breath. I take an unsteady step toward Edward, my hand reaching out to him.

His eyes are pained as he takes my hand and pulls me to the couch, sitting down next to me.

**~x~**

Doctor Garrett pulls a chair over to sit in front of us, his face serious as he looks at me.

"Ms. Swan, as I said, I am an intervention mediator. I'm not here to tell anybody what to do or say. I will merely be overseeing and directing flow and interceding if you can't control yourself. Do you understand?"

I nod once, unable to meet a single eye in the room.

"Every intervention is different. This is not a session to attack you, Ms. Swan. This was orchestrated so all the people in this room can express their love for you."

I raise my eyes and blink rapidly at Doctor Garrett.

All these people _love me_? How can this be?

I feel the tears building in my eyes.

"Felix, would you like to go first?"

Doctor Garrett moves from the chair and indicates that Felix should take the seat in front of me.

I watch as Felix settles his large frame into the chair in front of me, taking a deep breath before he starts speaking. "Bella, you know I'm not a serious person; I like to look at the lighter side of life, but this is a time for being serious. You are an excellent boss, a wonderful cook, and an amazing friend, and I love you."

I can feel the heat enter my face, and I motion for Felix to stop.

"Felix, please don't…"

"Bella it's important for you sit here and listen to what everyone has to say, without interruption."

I nod in Doctor Garrett's direction. I can't believe I have to just sit here and not respond to anyone.

Felix squeezes my hand before he gets up and crosses the room, heading to Demetri's side. Doctor Garrett now motions for Demetri to take the chair.

This is really embarrassing... I can't believe Edward knew about this intervention all along!

Demetri sits down in front of me. I focus my eyes on the floor. There is no way I will make it through all this if I look everyone in the eye.

"Bella, you know I look at you as part of my family, and I love you dearly, my sweet."

Demetri's words are so like him: quiet, simple, and classy.

I nod toward him to acknowledge his words.

**~x~**

Edward's hand rubs soothing patterns on my thigh as Esme takes the chair in front of me.

"Bella, I feel I have gotten to watch you grow before my eyes. When you first started at Elite, you were so shy and reserved we could hardly get through our weekly meetings. As we got to know each other better, you opened up a bit, and I could see what a lovely person you are. You are unfailingly fair and kind to our entire staff, and I count myself extremely lucky to have found such an excellent chef. I consider you my friend, Bella, but for all the wonderful things you do for the restaurant the thing that makes me love you is how happy you make my son. I've never seen Edward this happy before, and I know it's because of you."

Esme's words cause a lump to form in my throat, and my lips twitch as I try to swallow the emotions inside me. I feel Edward's lips on my temple, and I press myself to him, wanting to feel his comforting touch. I peek up at Esme and give her a small smile as she heads over to Carlisle to bury her face in his chest.

**~x~**

Doctor Garrett now motions Alice to take a seat across from me.

I briefly allow my gaze to move up to Alice's face and am surprised to see tears glistening in her eyes.

Alice reaches to me and takes my hand. "Bella, I love you. You are like a sister to me. You are special and beautiful. I hope someday you will see the amazing person you are."

Alice has never been one for deep sentiments, and her words hit me strongly, eliciting a flood of tears to run down my cheeks.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through this day. Is it their goal to break me?

Alice gives my hand a tiny squeeze before she leans in and pecks my cheek lightly before whispering again, "I love you, Bella."

My tears continue sliding down my face.

Edward pulls me tighter against his side, speaking words of comfort to me as his lips press to my forehead. "You're doing great, baby. It's gonna be alright."

I can feel the comfort of his words surround me and cradle me. I wish I could sink into his words and hide there and avoid all the raw emotion that is raking through me.

**~x~**

I turn my focus back to the room of people that surrounds me. Jasper is now turning away from a quick embrace with Alice and heading to the chair in front of me.

I am truly dreading this. What could he say to me?

Will he tell me he loves me again?

What will Alice think?

What will Edward think?

My mind is reeling with all the questions and giving me a headache.

Jasper lowers himself slowly and purposefully into the chair. I find myself watching him closely, hoping his body language will clue me into his thoughts.

"You're worried about what I'll say, aren't you?" I nod at Jasper, amazed at his ability to pick up on my feelings. "I told you before how I feel about you, and those feelings haven't changed. I still love you." My eyes dart to the ground as I feel Edward stiffen beside me. "Bella, I'm not _in_ love with you. Alice has shown me a different kind of love, one I would give anything for. I hope you have that kind of love someday, and when it happens, I hope you allow yourself to return it."

I am stunned; I had no idea Jasper had that in him.

He is always so quiet. I just assumed he had nothing to say.

I can only manage to mouth, "Thank you" as Jasper stands and returns to Alice's side.

I watch them for a moment, and I can see it – the way they look at each other; it's like they are speaking without words.

**~x~**

Edward pulls me even tighter against him. His actions more comforting than any words could be.

I wish this was over. I don't know how much more I can take. The emotions are overwhelming.

I look to Doctor Garrett, hoping he will see the pleading look on my face and will allow this to stop.

"Ms. Swan, I know this must be difficult for you, but it is important that you hear how much you mean to the people in your life. Miss Hale told me a bit of your history. Don't look so worried, Ms. Swan, we aren't going to discuss it now, but everyone here cares for you, and I can promise you one thing: you can't do this alone. You can't rebuild trust and love on your own. It's okay to lean on people, to need them. We all do that. I have been doing this for a lot of years now. Consider yourself very lucky, Ms. Swan. Most people don't have nearly the amount of support you do. Utilize them."

Guilt courses through me at Doctor Garrett's words, and the realization of the magnitude of this hits me. All these people are here for me. _Me_.

I wish I could just sit and process all this, but I see that isn't going to happen anytime soon.

I hear the chair creak in front of me as Emmett sits down and leans toward me. "Okay, Bella, you know I don't really do the whole _feelings_ things very well, but here goes. I love ya. I think you're awesome. I also think you're hot. Keep your hair on, Edward, I'm not hitting on your woman. Anyway…love ya!"

I feel Edward chuckle beside me, and I know that he didn't take Emmett seriously at all.

Emmett just has to be…well, Emmett, there's no way he can be serious.

I smile softly at Emmett. He's relieved a little of the emotionally charged atmosphere that is permeating the room. Emmett stands to fist bump Edward and then ruffles my hair. He is such a dork.

**~x~**

My tension level skyrockets watching Rose approach the chair.

I feel like I'm in for an earful now. I can only imagine what Rose will say, especially since I'm not supposed to talk back.

I can't bring myself to look her in the eye, so I stare intently at the floor.

"Bella, you must know I care for you, so much. I know I have pushed you at times, but I have done so out of love. Because I do love you, Bella. I want so many, many things for you. I want you to be happy and joyful and to live your life to the fullest. I'm not giving up on you, Bella, and I won't let you give up on yourself. Fight for happiness! You are owed that! Don't let those bastards steal more from you than they already have – fight for it!"

This is not what I expected from Rose. I thought she was going to nail me to the wall!

My tears stream unbidden down my face. Emotion literally choking me, I sputter and gasp as a small sob leaves my body.

I want to fight; I really do. I want happiness. I want trust. I just don't know how to do it.

Rose's arms are around me immediately, and I'm secured between her and Edward.

I can feel the rise and fall of Edward's chest against my cheek and feel the vibration of his voice as he speaks words of comfort to me.

I swipe my hand over my eyes, trying to brush away the tears, but to no avail. They continue to fall in a steady stream.

Rose pats my shoulder before she turns away, leaving me to cry softly into Edward's chest. His fingers move through my hair, brushing it from my face. His lips touch my forehead gently, moving down my cheek till they meet my own. I take comfort in his lips on mine, so soft and warm.

"Just a little longer, baby. You can do this. Okay?"

I nod against him, unable to speak around the lump in my throat.

**~x~**

I hear shuffling in front of me and turn to look into the watery eyes of Charlie.

His movements are slow as he takes a seat. His eyes shift back and forth between me and the floor.

"Bells…" Charlie's voice cracks, and I choke out a sob at his emotional tone. "I love you; you'll always be my little girl."

The dam breaks, and I'm unable to stop the flood pouring from my eyes as I launch myself off the couch.

The tears flow freely, and I make no attempt to ebb the flow. I just let them fall, soaking Charlie's shirt.

I hate to admit it, because that would make Rose right, but it feels kind of good to cry like this.

I feel another pair of arms wrap around my shoulder and I hear Renee's soft voice beside me. "Baby girl…I have loved you since your parents first brought you home."

I turn toward Renee and she crushes me to her as I cry.

Sobs are wracking my body now, the tears coming down my face in rivers.

"Shh…shhh, Bella, it's gonna be okay." I allow Renee to hold me, taking some comfort in her embrace. "Bella, you have been my heart all these years. I have worried for you, hoped for you, stood by and watched you grow, watched you hurt. You are a worthwhile young woman, and I love you so much!"

**~x~**

This is so much to take…to process. I feel like I will crumble to the ground.

The world begins to sway, and I feel the strength leave my body.

New arms are around me. I can feel their strength as I'm scooped off my feet, and I know that Edward is holding me.

His warm breath is on my cheek as my forehead rests against his.

"Bella." His voice is heavy with emotion and my tears continue their steady flow. His lips, soft and warm, kiss the rivers of salt water on my face. "Look at me, baby, please."

I open my eyes, feeling the air them, and what I see catches a sob in my throat: Edward's enchanting green eyes are red-rimmed and watery as tears streak down his beautiful face.

Seeing him like this is a dagger to my heart.

My fingers tremble as I bring them to his cheek and lightly trace the contour of his face. His hand is warm as it closes over mine, flattening my palm to his face. I feel the moisture from his eyes as it slides down over my skin.

"I love you, Bella Swan, so much. You awoke my heart, and you own it entirely. I know you probably aren't ready to trust me with your heart, but I will wait. As long as it takes…I will be here. I will prove to you that you can trust me."

Sobs rip from my body with an almost violent force, shaking me to my core.

Edward presses me tightly to his chest, his lips caressing mine, softly, tenderly.

"It's okay, baby. Just let it out…let it all out."

I bury my face in the crook of his neck, covering his shirt with my tears, my shoulders shaking with every sob.

I feel it all breaking; the anger, the fear, the mistrust, washing away in rivers of tears.

I feel raw and exposed, lain open for everyone to see.

I am unable to speak or move, I am drained of everything.

**~x~**

I am vaguely aware of a voice behind me. It sounds far off, distant.

"Ms. Swan, can you hear me?" My head feels like lead as I turn in the direction of Doctor Garrett's voice, nodding in acknowledgment of his words. "This was the first step, Ms. Swan: acceptance of love. I would like you to come into my office sometime in the next week, and we can start working on the next step of allowing yourself to love others."

I nod again at Doctor Garrett's words.

The entire room seems to come to life now.

Rosalie and Esme walk with Doctor Garrett from the room; I assume they are seeing him to the door.

Charlie, Renee, and Carlisle are sitting in the far corner of the room. Charlie is comforting Renee as she cries softly. Carlisle is speaking to them in a hushed voice.

Emmett is joking with Felix and Demetri, though all three keep throwing worried looks in my direction.

Jasper and Alice are in their own little bubble; no words are exchanged between them, only loving glances.

Edward is watching my every move, his eyes intent on me. "Come on, baby. Let's go up stairs where you can rest. You look exhausted."

Edward's strong arms lift me with little effort, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

Sympathetic eyes follow our movement from the room, but no one says a word. Edward takes me up the stairs and walks into a room as soon as we reach the top.

I peek at the room we are in; it is clearly a guest room. The green floral patterns and antique furnishings make me feel like I'm in an English bed and breakfast.

Edward lays me down on the bed and stretches out next to me.

I rest my cheek on his chest as his arm secures around my waist.

"Are you angry with me, Edward?"

I feel the pressure of his arm increase against me. "No, love. Why would you think that?"

I press myself closer to him, wanting to feel more of him. "Did you help plan all this?"

I feel Edward's hand cup my face, tilting my head so that our eyes meet. "I did. Not because I was mad, but because I love you. I want you to believe that you deserve to be loved. I called Rosalie to ask her for help and she recommended Doctor Garrett. Then we decided on my parent's house because it's neutral ground. No one wanted you to feel attacked, but you needed to know how we all feel about you."

I'm so overwhelmed. So many emotions and thoughts are going through me; I'm going to need time to process everything.

I press my lips to Edward's, allowing them to linger for a moment. "Thank you, Edward. Be patient with me please."

Edward tucks my head back against his chest, placing kisses on my hair. "Always, love, always. Sleep now. I love you."

I close my eyes, and, for the first time in years, I don't feel weighed down. I'm at peace.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: thank you for reading, please let me know what you think.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**A/N: Thanks to my fabulous beta and friend, Justine, you are the frosting on my cupcake!**

**~XXXX~**

**EPOV**

Oh, God! Bella is exquisite!

I will never get enough of her beautiful body.

Her petite frame is moving on top of me, her hips rolling gently under my fingers. Her tiny hands move along my chest as we rock together. I want to make her scream. I want her to scream my name till she has no strength left.

I pull her tighter against me, gripping her harder – thrusting deeper.

She's whimpering now; I want to whimper myself because she feels so damn good around me.

I feel her muscles begin to contract, and my dick jumps with every squeeze.

I run my hands up to Bella's breasts, enjoying the weight in my hands as they jiggle and bounce.

"Oh, God, Edward! Harder!" She's begging me, and I moan.

I didn't think anything could make her sexier; Lord, was I wrong!

I grip her tighter, pulling her even harder against me, causing her to moan louder and her fingers to dig into my chest.

"Edward! Yes! Oh, Edward! Yes! Yes!"

That's what I wanted to hear from my girl! Her, screaming my name in ecstasy.

My own release hits me like a freight train, and I hold tight to Bella as we ride out our orgasms.

I pull her to me, kissing every inch of her I can reach.

My fingers push through her thick, luscious hair, brushing it from her face. "I love you so much, Bella."

She smiles sweetly at me, but, God, I long to hear her say those three words back to me.

In just a matter of minutes, Bella is asleep next to me; her head on my shoulder, her hand on my chest.

I'm tired, but my brain is still wide awake, reflecting over the last month.

**~xx~**

The intervention was really a breaking point for Bella. Everything is so different now.

She is softer…her hard edges virtually gone.

It took Rosalie and me a lot of convincing, but we were able to get Bella to start regular therapy sessions.

I attended the first session with her, and her therapist said it was the most crucial time - she was pretty much an open wound , so great care and lots of TLC were required.

No problems with the TLC part. There is nothing I wouldn't do for Bella, and I think she is really starting to see that.

The therapy is hard on her; she is always tense after a session. I try to make sure I can always be available when she comes from one of her therapy sessions.

Most times I just hold her and tell her how proud I am of her and how much I love her.

There have been several times when I thought she would return my sentiment, but she always just smiles sweetly and kisses me.

Not that I'm complaining – Bella is a wonderful kisser. But someday, I hope she can let me into her heart.

**~xx~**

"Bella, can you please stop fidgeting, you're driving me nuts!"

I can't believe one woman can wiggle so much.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous." The slight tremor in her voice confirms her nerves.

I bring her hand to my lips, brushing light kisses across her fingers. "Don't worry, love, not too much longer till we land."

Bella's musical laughter fills the space around us. "I'm not afraid of flying, Edward. I'm nervous about the trip."

I cock an eyebrow at her, wondering what is going through that head of hers.

"This is the first time we'll be spending time together non-stop. Maybe I'll drive you crazy, and you won't want to be with me anymore."

It's so hard for me not to bust up laughing right now, but I know that will be really bad for her fragile self esteem.

I take hold of her chin and gently force her eyes to meet mine. "That will never happen, Bella."

I press my lips to hers, taking her perfect bottom lip between mine.

She relaxes noticeably into me, and I can't help but smile, knowing that I have this kind of effect on her.

"Aren't you excited to be spending two weeks with me?" I ask her.

I'm answered with a brilliant smile. "Of course. You won't have to work much, will you?"

That full bottom lip pokes out in a fake pout that goes straight to my dick. I stifle a groan. When does this plane land?

"No, baby, just the first couple days. We are meeting a friend of mine at a pub tonight, then two, three days at most, of taking photos around Edinburgh. After that, we'll fly up to Inverness; from there we'll drive to Loch Assynt. I've got us booked at a place called Ruddyglow Park Guest House. My parents stayed there a couple years ago for their anniversary, and they loved it."

Bella gives me an unsure look. "You didn't spend too much, did you?"

I lean in to kiss her again, hoping to distract her from this line of questioning. I don't want anything to spoil our trip.

I have spent quite a bit on the places we are staying, but I don't really want her knowing that.

It took so much convincing to get her on this trip; I just want us to have a fun time.

"No, love, I didn't spend too much. Now stop worrying, we're here to have fun."

I kiss her slow and deep, hoping that she can feel how much I love her.

**~xx~**

"Bella." I shake her gently, not wanting to startle her. "Bella, baby, wake up. We're landing."

She is so beautiful. Even now, when she is scrunching up her face at the idea of waking up, she is breathtaking.

I lean forward to press my lips to her throat, loving the feel of her warm skin against my mouth.

Her hands run into my hair, holding me to her. I make my way up to her jaw and finally to her lips. "Time to wake up, sleepy head."

Bella makes a low humming noise in her throat. I wonder if she knows the effect those sounds have on me.

Bella starts moving her hand up my knee, and as much as I want her to keep going, I need to remember we are still on the plane.

I laugh as Bella sighs loudly. "You better make it up to me later, Mr. Cullen."

There is no way I'm letting her get the last word in. I graze my lips up to her ear. "You have no idea all the things I want to do to you."

Bella is just gaping at me as I stand to remove our carry-on bags.

"You are so on, Edward!"

**~xx~**

I really love Edinburgh. It is such a beautiful city, embracing both the modern and historic attributes.

I point out buildings and landmarks to Bella as we drive through the city. I'm excited to see her taking a real interest in what I'm saying, I know she could really use some time to relax, and I hope this trip will be a step forward for us.

**~xx~**

Bella gasps beside me as we step into our suite at the Apex City Hotel in the Old Town area of Edinburgh.

"Edward! How much did you spend on this?"

I pull her against me, kissing her firmly on the lips. "Don't worry about it, love. Let's just have a nice time. Please don't think about the cost of everything."

She mumbles out, "Fine," around my lips as I continue to kiss her.

I flop down on the bed while Bella checks everything out.

"Oh, Edward, you can see Edinburgh Castle from our room."

I prop myself up on my elbows to see Bella excitedly pulling back the curtains to look out the window. "Why don't you come relax with me," I say as I extend my hand out to her.

Bella turns from the window and crawls across the bed to me.

She hovers over me, her beautiful hair falling all around me as she moves her lips to my neck. "This is beautiful, Edward, thank you."

"Anytime, love."

**~xx~**

"Come on, Bella, it will be fine. You promised your therapist to work on your phobia of eating out." Bella is stalling in the doorway of The Royal McGregor Pub, looking nervous. "Baby, I promise no one is going to do anything weird to your food. Will you at least try? Please…for me?"

Bella nods and allows me to lead her into the crowded pub. I spot my friend immediately and proudly pull Bella over to show her off.

"Alastair, this is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is Alastair. We go way back. He's actually the one who asked me to come here and take some pictures of the city for his magazine."

We all sit down and order a round of drinks as we glance over the menu. Bella keeps flipping hers back and forth, and I know she is trying to decide her safest option.

I squeeze her knee gently and give her a reassuring smile. She turns pink as she leans into me and whispers, "Sorry."

Dinner is going well; the three of us talk easily. Alastair is quite curious about Bella and how she managed to snag me, since he only knows me as a terminal bachelor.

I just smile and say, "I was waiting for someone special, and Bella more than fits the bill."

I'm pleased to see her blush at my compliment. I hope she knows how much she means to me.

She knows I love her, but does she realize how much she fills me up – makes me whole? I want her to know these things, but now is not the time.

I'm sure an opportunity to tell her will present itself.

**~xx~**

We're up bright and early the next morning, before the sun is up, in order to make it to Edinburgh Castle.

The view from Argyle Battery is spectacular, and I want to get some sunrise pictures of the city.

Bella is huddling next to me as I set up my camera by the battery wall. I take fifty shots of the city before I turn my lens to Bella.

"Stop, Edward. Don't take my picture."

Bella is stunning – the morning breeze is whipping her hair around her face and shoulders. And the way the early morning rays hit her skin, she almost appears to glow.

I manage to get a few shots of her, looking down or slightly away - even one of her shyly looking at me over her shoulder.

We spend the rest of the day walking the streets of the City Centre, and I take hundreds of photos of the Parliament Building, St. Giles Cathedral, and the Palace of Holyrood House.

Bella is like a different person: she is laughing and joking - snuggling up against me, giving me little feathery kisses.

It's so nice to be with her like this, just enjoying ourselves, nothing hanging over our heads.

We spend the evening in quiet conversation at the hotel restaurant and bar. Bella's feeling relaxed enough that she doesn't even worry about ordering off the menu.

The following day I send Bella to the spa while I head to Alastair's office to show him the shots I got.

Then I spend the rest of the day with Bella, looking at The Royal Museum of Scotland and doing a bit of shopping.

**BPOV**

I'm stunned by the beauty of the countryside as we zip along the road out from Inverness.

I want to press my face to the window so I can soak up as much of the landscape as possible.

Edward is practically bouncing in his seat as he drives, excitement rolling off him.

Truthfully, I'm a bit excited myself - I've never been on a romantic getaway, and the thought of being secluded in the countryside with Edward sends chills through my body.

This next week and a half promises to be some of the best days of my life.

The sight before me is positively idyllic. The stone cottage we pull up to sits amongst beautiful gardens that overlook Loch Assynt.

"Edward! This is magnificent! It's like a postcard!" I kiss him quickly on the lips before I hop out of the car to start exploring.

Everything is so quaint and typically cottage-like – I love it!

I make us a simple dinner in the evening; it's nice to be back in a kitchen. Edward has a few phone calls to make after dinner, so I take the opportunity to ready myself for bed.

Alice and I went on numerous shopping expeditions before this trip. She kept insisting I needed loads of new lingerie.

So tonight I select a lovely cream-colored silk night gown with spaghetti straps that falls past my knees.

The full moon is shining in the window, allowing me to look out onto the heather covered moors.

I am so lost in the vision before me I don't hear Edward behind me till his warm hands are on my shoulders and his lips are on my neck.

His hands are move down my arms, slowly…gently, causing me to tingle with pleasure.

He moves his hands down to mine, his fingers lacing with my own. "You are so beautiful in the moonlight, Bella."

One of his hands moves back to my shoulder, where his lips are still soft on my skin.

Edward is sliding the strap of my nightgown down my arm while he is pulling me into him and toward the bed.

His lips are trailing a warm, wet path from one shoulder to the other.

I can feel the desire in his lips building as his kisses become harder, more impatient.

I take advantage of his loosening grip and turn to face him.

My lips are like a magnet to his. Desire is boiling in my blood.

I effortlessly undo the buttons of his shirt, my hands eagerly pushing the fabric over his shoulders and down his arms.

Edward's hands guide the night gown down my back and over the swell of my ass, until it pools at my feet, leaving me completely bare.

Edward takes a step backward, his eyes roving over my exposed flesh.

"Perfect." His voice is low, heavy with lust.

He continues to move, pulling me down on top of him as he sits on the bed.

"Bella…" His voice cuts off as his lips caress my neck, and move down to my breasts.

His mouth hungrily sucks my nipple, and I arch my back, forcing more of my breast between his lips.

Edward's hands are clutching me tightly to him as we grind hard against each other.

I push myself back from him, enough to pop open the button of his pants.

My fingers pull back the material of his boxers to expose pre-cum glistening on his tip. I slide down to my knees, pulling his jeans with me, exposing his beautiful, full erection.

I'm nervous as I press my lips to his silky head, I've never done this for him before, but the hungry look in his eyes tells me how much he wants this.

I trace my tongue up one side of his shaft, around the head and down the other side.

I hear Edward moaning deep in his throat with my touch.

My lips move easily over him, taking more of his length in my mouth, pressing his firm head into my tongue.

Edward's moans fill my ears as my lips work up and down his length, sucking, caressing.

I'm surprised by how much I like seeing him like this - arms stretched out behind him, head thrown back, his muscled body laid out before me.

My hands slide up and down his abs before settling on his hip bones, my head continuing to bob over him.

"Bella…," Edward mumbles.

I increase my tempo, wanting him to come undone at my hands.

"Bella…please come to me."

"You don't want me to finish?" I'm a bit crestfallen; I thought he was enjoying himself.

Edward pushes himself till he is upright on the bed. His hand clasps mine, pulling me to him. "Bella, I want to bury myself in you. I want you writhing beneath me. I want you to feel how much you own me."

Edward's words burn inside me, making my heart clench.

I wish I could be more for him. He deserves to be adored, maybe in time I can give him that. I lay myself out before Edward, beckoning to him. His lean body moves over mine with slow, perfect grace, settling himself between my legs. He enters me slowly, but I can feel the strength his body holds, and it thrills me.

Our eyes never break contact as we move together; our bodies rejoice in the other's.

Emotion is breaking over me in waves, like I have never felt before – aching and pulsing in my heart.

What is this man doing to me?

I can feel my defenses breaking with each push of him inside me – dissolving, leaving me open…exposed.

Strangely, I don't feel alone with this revelation, because I know Edward is here to catch me…to hold me up.

Pleasure courses through my body, not only from the beautiful man whose body fills mine, but from his tender heart he has so willingly given me.

Edward's name falls softly from my lips as I reach my climax, feeling his warmth flood into me as he reaches his own.

**~xx~**

Our next days pass blissfully. We spend them hiking and exploring the tiny surrounding villages. We spend our evenings and nights worshiping each others bodies…making love well into the night. On our last full day here, Edward suggests a picnic in the garden.

We spread a blanket underneath a tree in the garden where we have an excellent view of the Loch. There is just comfortable silence between us as we munch the goodies I made.

Edward leans back against the tree after we have both had our fill of food. I tuck my knees under the tartan skirt that Edward insisted on buying for me and I lean against him, enjoying his warmth.

We sit in silence for a while before Edward's voice breaks the silence, "I wish we could just stay here forever."

I smile, pressing my face into his chest and sigh lightly. "This has been wonderful, Edward. Thank you so much for bringing me here."

"You have been happier here; it's been nice." Edward's voice is a little wistful, and I feel bad for not always being this lighthearted.

"I have loved spending this time with you, too. I feel happy…happier than I have ever felt actually," I say.

Edward's face lights with a breathtaking smile. His hand reaches to cup my cheek as his lips touch mine lightly. "Bella Swan, do you have any idea how much I love you?"

His eyes are sweet and earnest, but with a sadness in their depths. I know it hurts him that I haven't told him I love him, but I'm just not ready. I'm still scared.

"I'm sorry, Edward…"

His lips touch mine again. "It's ok. You don't have to say it back."

I can hear the pain in his voice and I hate myself for not being able to say it. "Why do you love me, Edward?"

I focus my eyes on the tartan pattern that spreads across my legs, afraid to meet Edward's eyes. I'm afraid he will say, I don't know.

His fingers are soft on my face as they trace my jaw-line, gently lifting my face to meet his gaze.

"Bella…" His voice is quiet, choked with emotion. "You are everything to me. I love every single thing about you."

I open my mouth to protest his claim, but am stopped by Edward's fingers on my lips.

"I do love everything about you, Bella. I love the little wrinkle between your eyes when you concentrate, the way you bite your lip when you're worried. I love how you put your whole being into the food you cook, and the way you trip over your feet. I adore the way you alphabetize your books and the spices in your cupboard, but most of all I love the way you completely own me." He pauses. "I am whole with you, Bella."

My tears are hot on my face. What did I ever do to deserve someone like this?

He gives me so much – so much more then I can ever give him.

His eyes hold nothing but understanding, even in my silence.

Our lips meet, and emotion is thick in the air around us. Edward is watching me, want clear on his face. "I love you, Bella," and his lips crash into mine with passion.

Edward pulls me to his lap and my body molds itself to his.

His hands are gentle as they move from my waist to my hips, pressing me tighter to his ever growing arousal. My groans fill his mouth at the contact.

My fingers fumble to find the button of his jeans, releasing him from the denim prison.

His hands grip my thighs tightly as they make their way up my skirt. I have never been so happy to be in a skirt.

With unexpected skill, Edward manages to get me out of my underwear without me moving off his lap.

His hands palm my ass eagerly, pulling me forward, entering me with a gloriously hungry force.

I rock myself into him, needing to feel him more, deeper.

I allow my head to fall back, closing my eyes, trying to feel each individual sensation.

Edward fills all my senses; his pants and moans are all I hear.

His clean masculine scent is all I smell.

The rippling of his muscles beneath his shirt and the power of his thighs beneath mine are all I feel.

I move my lips back to his, tasting him on my tongue. He is heaven, sweet with just a hint of saltiness.

The sight of him is perfection. He's coming undone beneath me, my name falling from his lips.

We are all there is.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading!  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thank you to my fabulous beta, Justine...you are the butter on my toast!**

**EPOV**

I'm staring at my laptop, hoping words will enter my brain. I want to put something on my Live Journal about the Scotland trip, but no words are coming – not a thing.

A smile crosses my face as my mind drifts, well actually lots of words come to mind, but none appropriate for public blogging.

Just thinking about our time in Scotland...all the lovemaking...

Great, now I'm rock hard.

I need to see my Bella...touch her...kiss her.

This woman is my drug, and I just can't get enough.

I'm going to go surprise her, be waiting in the bar when she gets off work.

**~xx~**

It doesn't take long for me to reach downtown. I'm going to stop and get her flowers or something, just because I can.

I manage to find a flower shop that is still open, and park my car across the street from the shop. I hop out of my car, excited that I will soon be surprising my girl. The night air holds a chill as I jog easily across the street. Shit...left my wallet in the car. I turn in the middle of the road to head back to my car, anxious to get to Bella.

**Charlie POV**

I love being a cop, except for days like today. I hate getting these calls - hit and run down town. It takes me less than five minutes to make it to the accident scene.

It's the typical sight when I get there - traffic backed up down the street, lights flashing from the tops of emergency vehicles, a crowd of people gathered around the paramedics as they work on the person on the ground.

I make my way over to the crowd surrounding the accident scene. Several of the bystanders witnessed the hit and run and are able to give me a description of the vehicle and a partial license plate number. I call in an APB to be on the lookout for the vehicle before turning my attention to the paramedics.

There are four paramedics working over the victim, I can tell from the size of the person it's a man.

"Hey, boys, do you have a name for our vic?"

One of the paramedics turns and flips me a wallet and then turns his attention back to the man on the ground.

For the first time on the job, tears fill my eyes as I look at the driver's license in my hand: Edward A. Cullen.

**Carlisle POV**

"Doctor Cullen, paging Doctor Cullen. Please report to the E.R."

I sigh in exasperation. What now! I have already worked an hour past my shift; I had been hoping to catch a late dinner with Esme. I make my way down to the E.R. and head to the nurses' station. I'm rather surprised when I approach the nurses' desk; several of them are whispering together and wiping tears from their eyes.

"Mrs. Cope, what's going on?"

The nurse I addressed didn't speak, just motioned toward the uniformed officer with his back to me. As I approach the officer, I can see that it's Charlie Swan.

"Charlie, how are you? Is everything alright?" The look on his face when he turns toward me tells everything is not alright. "Is it Bella? Is she…?"

Charlie raises his hand and cuts me off. "It's not Bella. I just came in with the ambulance…it's Edward."

My mind goes blank as my feet take me quickly through the E.R. doors. Tightness constricts my chest as soon as my eyes land on my son's form.

He is strapped to a backboard, bruises, and blood covering his body. I feel like I have left my body and am watching myself from afar. The familiar activity bustles around me, yet this time I'm not apart of it. I am now like all the families I have seen for years, standing helpless to save the one I love. All my years of training go right out of my head; all I can do is stand and stare as others try and save my son's life.

**~xx~**

"Esme, are you in your office?" My voice is low, and I know Esme will detect the distress in my tone.

"Yes. Carlisle, what is going on?"

I sigh deeply, not sure how to break the news to my wife. "You need to come into the hospital. Edward has been in an accident."

I hear the breath leave my wife's body in a whoosh. "Carlisle…is he…he…still alive?"

It kills me to hear the desperation in her voice, the sorrow.

"He is, but he is very banged up and in immense pain. He has a broken leg, several broken ribs, and one of his lungs is punctured. He has lots of cuts and bruises. He is lucky, Esme. Very lucky."

I can hear the heaving sobs of my wife through the phone, and I long to hold her. "Is he conscious?"

"No, he is heavily medicated and will be out for a while."

Esme sighs deeply. I can hear the emotion in each ragged breath. "I'll be to the hospital shortly – as soon as I tell Emmett and Bella."

"Esme, it might not be wise to tell Bella yet. Edward is in the ICU, and only family will be allowed in."

"Carlisle Cullen, you will find a way for Bella to be in there. Our son is in love with her, and she has as much right to be there as we do. You find a way to make it happen. The three of us will be there shortly."

**BPOV**

"Bella, my mom wants to see us in her office."

"Emmett, I really don't have time right now. Can't it wait a couple hours till we close?"

I'm rushing around my kitchen, grabbing ingredients as I talk - Emmett trailing behind me.

"She said now, Bella, and she sounded pretty upset."

I sigh loudly. "Alright. Angela, can you take over here?"

She nods her head and takes over the artichokes I was sautéing.

I follow Emmett through the kitchen and down a side hall toward Esme's office. Emmett doesn't even bother to knock, just walks right in the door. Esme is sitting at her large desk, her head in her hands. Emmett walks to her side, putting his arm over her shoulder as I stand awkwardly in the door way, feeling like a total intruder.

"Bella, please come in, dear. I need to talk to both of you." I step inside completely, still feeling awkward. "Carlisle just called me from the hospital." She sighs heavily. "Edward has been in an accident…"

I know Esme is still talking, but I hear none of her words – they all dissolve into meaningless droning in the background.

Edward is hurt.

Emotion breaks over me with a crushing force.

I love him.

There is no doubt in my mind: I love him with my entire being. What if I never get the chance to tell him? What if he…he dies or something and I never get the chance to tell him?

I feel the bile begin to churn in my stomach, threatening to explode out of me…then, blackness.

**~xx~**

"Bella! Bella can you hear me?"

My head feels groggy and is throbbing a bit. What the hell happened?

"Bella! Answer me." Emmett's voice is like a gong in my head - loud and annoying.

"What…what happened?" I try to sit up from where I am on the floor, feeling a bit dizzy.

"You kind of zoned on us there, Bella, and then you collapsed on the floor."

Emmett's eyes are full of concern, and I feel like a jackass for having clearly passed out on the floor. I feel the nausea hit me again as I think of Edward being hurt. Esme is kneeling next to me with a glass of water, worry etched on her every feature.

"Are you okay, dear?"

How do I even answer that! I'm anything but fine. Edward is hurt, I feel like every ounce of strength has been zapped from my body.

"I'm fine." My voice sounds small and lost, even to my own ears.

Emmett helps me to my feet and I gladly accept the water Esme is offering me. "I'm heading to the hospital now, are you both coming?" Esme glances quickly at Emmett before turning her gaze to me.

I nod my head. I have to see Edward. I need to see with my own eyes how he is.

**~xx~**

My stomach is in knots as we wait for the elevator doors to open up on the ICU floor. The sound of beeping machines and the smell of antiseptic hit me as I step through the elevator doors. Carlisle is waiting for us as soon as we step through the door. Esme walks hurriedly into his waiting arms, seeking comfort. They whisper a few words to each other before turning their attention to Emmett and me.

"Only one person can go into the ICU at a time. I've already seen him. Esme is going in now."

Carlisle gives Esme a quick peck on the lips before she hurries down the hall to the doors that separate the waiting room from the patient rooms. Emmett and Carlisle slip into quiet conversation while I pace nervously back and forth, twisting my fingers together as I walk.

"How bad is he, Dad?"

Emmett's question brings my pacing to a halt. I try to casually lean against the wall, though my insides are squirming and I want run up to Carlisle and shake him and yell at him to answer faster.

Carlisle sighs deeply before answering, "It could have been a lot worse; he's very lucky. The car struck him on his left side and broke his leg. Four of his ribs broke when he went up over the windshield and his right lung is punctured. He has a lot of cuts and most of his body is covered in bruises. He is on a lot of medication, so he is out right now." Carlisle's eyes shift to me as he continues to speak, "It will be a shock to see him. He has a chest tube in to re-inflate his lung and he's on a ventilator right now to help him breath easier."

Just hearing about all his injuries makes the queasy feeling hit me again. I don't know how I'll handle seeing him, but I know I have to…I need to.

**~xx~**

It's a while before Esme comes back to the waiting room. I didn't sit the entire time. My body is fluttering with nervous energy, fearing what she will say about his condition. Esme's red rimmed eyes are the first thing I notice as she approaches us; it's clear she has been crying a lot. Carlisle and Emmett wrap her in their arms, encompassing her in love. I feel like an intruder in their family time, so I turn to look out the window, giving them their privacy.

I ache to see Edward, to touch him, to tell him I love him.

A light touch on my shoulder alerts me to Emmett's presence. "Bella, why don't you go ahead in. I'll wait."

I want to throw my arms around Emmett and give him the biggest kiss. I don't how I would have fared if I had been forced to wait even longer. I settle for a quick peck on the cheek before I head down the hall. It is eerily quiet but for the beeping of machines as I enter the ICU. I realize I forgot to ask Esme which room is Edward's. I make my way to the nurses station and clear my throat to get the attention of the black-haired nurse.

"How can I help you, dear?"

"I'm looking for Edward Cullen's room." I pray she won't ask me if I'm a relative, because I am a terrible liar.

"He's down the hall, second door on the left. Irina is his nurse."

Each step I take toward his room seems to be in slow motion, I anticipate and dread seeing him all at the same time. His door looms in front of me, my fingers trembling as I reach for the door knob.

"Just close the blind if want some privacy, honey."

The nurse sitting in front of the window to Edward's room gives me a sympathetic smile. I'm sure she has seen this scene many times before.

As soon as I push the door open my breath leaves my body in a rush. This can't be Edward! He is so broken. Every bit of skin I can see is either bruised or covered in scrapes. One leg is covered in a large cast and being held up by what looks to be a pulley system. My eyes move up his torso, a vision that normally causes me to become overwhelmingly turned on, but now tears flood my eyes and spill down my cheeks. He is bare from his hips up and covered in angry purple-black bruises. His beautiful chest I love to run my hands over, now has a tube protruding from it. The lips that so often worship my skin are now taped to a ventilation tube, causing the gentle rise and fall of his chest. His face, that has always taken my breath away, is now covered with cuts and is swollen to the point that his features are almost unrecognizable.

I feel as though a sledge hammer has been taken to my heart and the pieces from the blow are slicing their way through my body.

He is so still. The only movement is caused by the ventilator moving air in and out of his body.

I manage to will my feet to move to the chair beside his bed, sliding onto the vinyl seat and carefully taking his bruised and scraped hand in mine. I simply hold his hand for a few moments, feeling the reassurance of his strong, steady pulse against my finger tips. I have never been a religious person. Only during the worst beatings from James did I ever plead with any higher being to save me.

As I sit here with Edward's hand held in mine, I beseech any and all powers out there greater than myself to bring this man back to me. Don't let this be our goodbye. I have heard that even in deep comas people can hear you, and I hope with all my soul that is true. I rise and gently move my fingers to run through his hair, leaning close to his face.

With great care, I press my lips to his cheek. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

**~xx~**

The touch on my leg jars me from my fitful sleep. I groan, my body stiff from sleeping in a chair. The sunshine pouring in the waiting room windows stings my already swollen eyes.

Alice is sitting in the chair next to me, handing me a cup of coffee. "How are you holding up, sweetie?"

I smile weakly at Alice's question, grateful for her concern and the coffee. "I'm okay, thanks."

"Bella, let me drive you home. You look like crap and there is no way you could have gotten sleep in that chair."

I shake my head at Alice; there is no way I'm leaving. "No, Alice. I want to be here when he wakes up."

"I understand that, but you are no good to him if you are dead tired."

I know Alice is right. I just don't want her to be. "Esme is with him now, and Emmett and Carlisle left to get some sleep. Come on, Bella, you don't want Edward worrying about you when he wakes up."

I hate that Alice is right, but I acknowledge she is and reluctantly get up to leave.

**~xx~**

I only allow myself four hours of sleep before I am back at the hospital.

I head immediately for Edward's room and am surprised to find Esme still here and that they are allowing us both to be in his room. I don't feel that I should be intruding on Esme's time, so I start back out the door.

Esme pats the chair next to her, but she never takes her eyes off Edward. "Come sit with me, dear."

I press my lips to Edward's temple, whispering, "I love you," in his ear before sliding into the chair next to Esme.

We sit in silence for several minutes before Esme starts talking…ramble, really, musing.

"I remember the day Emmett brought Edward home, he was the littlest thing. I never would have thought such a little boy would grow to be such a tall, strong man. He was so timid. I could hardly get him to eat, even though he had to be starving. Carlisle and I spent months trying to find his mother. We put ads in the paper, but she never came for him. It was like she vanished. I can't imagine how anyone could not want him; he was always the sweetest boy, never gave me one bit of trouble. It breaks my heart to see him like this, 'cause you know, I don't see a grown man in this bed…I see my sweet little boy."

Esme takes my hand in hers, squeezing it gently before placing it on Edward's hand. "Take care of my boy, Bella."

With a quick kiss to the top of my head, Esme walks quietly from the room.

**~xx~**

It's been two days since the accident, and Alice has talked me into going home again for a short while.

I'm trying to rest a little before I head back to the hospital, looking through our trip pictures. There are only a few pictures of Edward, as he was usually the one snapping them, though I did manage to sneak in a few of him.

I look at his face in the photo, running my fingers over the glossy surface, wishing already I was with him again.

The ringing of my phone pulls me from my thoughts.

"Bella, it's Carlisle. Edward is awake. He is still in a lot of pain, but he is sitting up and writing a few simple notes. He's asking for you."

My heart leaps into my throat. His first thoughts were of me!

"Thank you. I'm on my way."

I know I was hurried and normally I would have felt bad, but right now my only focus is getting to Edward as fast as I can.

I make it there in record time and thank my lucky stars Seattle's finest aren't out in force today. I feel like my legs can't possibly move fast enough as I make my way to his room. I nod and smile to Irina, who is wearing a knowing grin, as I step into Edward's room. Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle are all standing next to his bed when I enter.

Everything feels like it is happening in slow motion.

Edward's family starts to shuffle past me, and I vaguely hear their words, something about giving us privacy. My entire focus is on Edward. He looks no better then the last time I saw him, still covered in bruises, tubes, and bandages, but now his eyes are open and focused intently on me.

Tears are streaming, heavy and hot, down my face as I step to his side.

Even though his lips are still taped to the ventilator tube, I can tell he is smiling – it shines in his eyes.

I sit carefully on the edge of his bed, trying not to jostle him. His hand goes straight to my cheek, cupping it, caressing it. I shift my weight toward him and run my fingers into his hair, brushing stray locks from his eyes.

I press my lips softly to his cheek while keeping my eyes focused on his. "I love you, Edward."

I'm surprised to see his eyes fill with tears. I brush the drops from his face with the pads of my thumbs – gently, so I don't hurt his bruised face. I press my lips to his face again and again, reaffirming my love for him. His hand is trembling against my cheek, but I can feel his thumb moving in a distinct pattern over my skin.

I close my eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his fingers.

Emotion wells in my heart, almost choking me as I figure out the pattern he is tracing on my cheek.

He is tracing the letter I, a heart shape, and the letter U – I love you.

Even with the state he's in, Edward is still concerned for my feelings.

I am the luckiest woman alive.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading, leave me your thoughts!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta, Justine.**

**EPOV**

Every inch of my body hurts, even Bella's lightest touch causes me pain - though I would never ask her to stop.

It's been a week since the accident. I hate being in the hospital, but at least I'm out of the ICU.

Charlie has been to see me several times. They found the driver of the car that hit me – some twenty year old kid was texting while driving. Charlie took my statement, not that I had much to say. I didn't see the driver at all. I had turned in the street and then I saw head lights. I don't remember anything until I woke up to a nurse adjusting my catheter.

Bella has been here every day. She is my only source of comfort from the pain wracking my body. My heart is the only part of me that doesn't hurt. I feel like it will explode out of my chest with happiness - she loves me!

When she first said those words to me, I thought I was dreaming or hallucinating, but she keeps telling me again and again; I will never tire of those words.

Everything feels so different between Bella and me. Even the air around us feels different. There are no walls left; she has let me in, and it has changed everything. Bella is so calm and peaceful, like a whole new person. I couldn't be more proud of her.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?" Bella's soft voice brings me from my thoughts.

Her beautiful face smiles down at me as her hand touches my arm gently. "I was just thinking about you, baby." Her skin glows with a pink blush. I love that I can still do that to her.

"You had better been thinking something good," she says before brushing her lips lightly over mine. I long to be able to pull her into my arms and kiss her passionately, but for now her gentle kisses will have to do until I'm out of this damn hospital.

"My thoughts of you are always good, Bella. I'm just thinking about all the things I want to do to you when I get out of here." I chuckle when her blush deepens at my words. Her lips meet mine again, with more purpose this time, letting me know she is looking forward to me being out of here as well.

**~xx~**

"Edward?" My mother's voice breaks me from my thoughts, and I turn from the window I had been staring out to greet my mom.

"Hi, Mom, how are you doing?"

She waves off my question as she takes a seat in the chair beside my bed. "I'm fine, dear. How are you doing?" she asks, concern barely concealed in her voice.

"I'm good, considering everything." My mother is watching me with hawk's eyes. As though she can discern some detail she may have initially missed.

"What's going on with you, mister? You're different. I can't put my finger on it, but you just look different," she says, eyeing me with suspicion.

"Yeah, I'm covered in bandages and cuts." I'm rewarded with the stink eye for my comments, and I laugh softly at my mother.

She sighs in exasperation. "I meant your eyes are different. There's something in them…joy?"

I can feel my skin heat with a blush – it's embarrassing that my mom can read me so well.

"Well…Bella told me she loves me." I stare at my lap as I speak, feeling a little silly. My mom and I have always been close, but this is new territory for both of us. After a few moments of silence, I turn my eyes toward my mother and am surprised to find her eyes full of tears. I reach out to take her hand. "Are you okay, Mom?"

Both of her hands grip mine, and a look of contentment settles on her face before she speaks. "Edward, I'm so happy for you – both of you. I can see how much you love her every time you look at her!"

My mother's words touch me deeply. "She's my life now, Mom."

I don't know what the future will hold for Bella and me; I just know I want her in my life – always. I start really thinking about a future with Bella and what that entails. Would she ever consider moving in with me? Marrying me? Having children with me? These are things I need to discuss with Bella…in time. For now, I just want to focus on the fact that she loves me.

**~2 weeks later~**

**BPOV**

"Edward, will you please just sit in the wheel chair and let Emmett help you in?" My voice is whiny, but I don't care. I'm worried that Edward will fall if he tries to make it into his house alone.

Edward rolls his eyes at me. "Bella, I'm perfectly capable of getting myself into the house."

I step in front of Edward, taking his face in my hands, and kiss him gently. "Will you please let Emmett help you?"

Edward wraps his arms around my hips and pulls me tightly against him. "You are such a cheater, Bella. You know I can't tell you no when you say please."

I press my lips along his jaw line, darting my tongue out to taste him, hoping a little teasing will persuade him further.

Edward growls low in his throat, leaning into my lips. "Fine. You win. I'll let Emmett help."

**~xx~**

I'm glad Edward's family went home, even though it was nice to have dinner with his parents and Emmett and Rosalie. I'm looking forward to some time alone with Edward.

"Bella, do you mind coming here?" I can hear Edward moving around upstairs as he calls to me. I set down the pan I had been washing, dry my hands and hurry up to his bedroom to see what he needs.

"What do you need, babe?" I ask.

Edward gives the most winning smile and pats the bed beside him. "I need you to come sit with me."

I roll my eyes at him as I lower myself to his side. His arms immediately pull me tight against him and I snuggle into his body. I sigh contentedly as I allow one hand to roam over his chest; it feels so good to be with him like this again.

"I've missed this," I tell him, pressing my lips to his neck. He groans deep in his chest, his feelings reflecting my own. It's been far too long.

Edward's fingers trace along the edge of my breast and, as much as I would like him to continue, I know he needs to rest. I pull back from him slightly, placing one last kiss on his neck. "Remember what your doctor said: nothing strenuous for a week, including sex."

Edward sighs deeply, his head falling back against the headboard. "I just miss you, baby."

"I know, but I'm here, and I'm gonna take care of you. I'll start with cleaning up the kitchen," I tell him. "I'll be back up in a few minutes and we can watch a movie."

I kiss him once more before heading back downstairs.

By the time I get back up stairs, Edward is asleep. I'm not surprised since he's on some strong medication. I take a moment to just stand there and look at him; he still takes my breath away. I lower myself very carefully to the bed, trying not to wake him. My eyes roam his peaceful features; his extra long eyelashes resting against his high cheekbones, his slightly parted lips, the faint flush to his cheeks. It's easy to picture him as the little boy Esme described. I bet he was a beautiful child. For the first time in my life, my mind drifts to thoughts of a child of my own, perhaps one with my brown hair and Edward's green eyes and long eyelashes. Maybe someday… I just know I want my future to be with Edward. He has given me so much - he has given me hope.

**~xx~**

"Bella, I can manage myself." Edward is exasperated with me again; he really is a terrible patient.

"Will you please just let me help you," I implore him.

"I'm perfectly capable of washing my own hair." I can tell by his tone he is starting to get irritated.

I run my fingers through his "bed head" hair and try one more time to convince him. "Let me do this for you, let me care for you." I feel a little bad using this tactic against him, but I'm planning on making it up to him.

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose briefly before sighing deeply and giving me an exasperated, "Fine."

I follow him as he hobbles awkwardly into the bathroom. "Where do you want me?" he asks, and I try and hide my smile as I think, everywhere.

"Oh, the edge of the bathtub will be fine. It will be easier for me to reach you that way." I help him lower himself to the tub and grab a couple towels to cover his cast.

I can't help but laugh at Edward as he sits on the edge of the tub with a dejected air, looking up at me through his lashes. How can anyone be so cute while sulking?

I step between his legs, taking his face between my hands and kiss him firmly on the lips. He groans when my lips touch his and he pulls me tight against him.

I pull away after a moment and reach behind him to grab the removable shower head.

"Shirt off, mister," I tell him as I turn on the water and adjust the temperature. I sigh as he pulls his shirt over his head - he has such a heavenly body. There is still the sickly yellow of old bruises in a few spots, and I notice him wince slightly at his movements, but mostly he is healed and for that I am so thankful.

"Tilt your head back," I whisper as I bring the warm spray up to his hair. I push my fingers through his hair, making sure it all gets wet. I feel his hands move up to rest on my hips, holding me against his body. I reach for his shampoo, squeezing a small amount directly on to his hair. Working my fingers through his hair, I begin massaging his scalp. I watch as his eyes close and his Adam's apple bobs with a low groan. I brush my lips softly over each of his eyelids, continuing to work the lather in his hair.

"Bella…" His voice is thick, laden with need. His fingers dig into my hips, pulling me to him even tighter, pressing my breasts to the base of his throat.

I bring the spray back to his hair, rinsing thoroughly. I reach around Edward's body once again, grabbing his loofah and loading it with body wash. I stretch my arms around him, scrubbing over the skin of this back. He leans forward, resting his face on my breasts and I can feel his smile through my shirt. I keep moving the poof, bringing it over his shoulders, lathering each of his arms with soap. I drag the ball of suds down his chest, marveling again at his muscled perfection. I continue my downward motions until I brush the top of his shorts. I step back from him just enough so he can slide out of his shorts and then I'm back in front of him. I sink slowly to my knees before him, causing him to draw in a ragged breath. I work my way up his leg till I reach his quickly growing erection.

I rise slowly to my feet, soaping up my hands before dropping the loofah into the tub.

My hands glide back down Edward's chest, running through the soapy hair. His hands find my face and drag my lips down to meet his. Our tongues meet with hungry passion as I rub my palm over the tip of his erection. Edward groans into my mouth, his body thrusting into my palm. I wrap my fingers firmly around the head of his erection and squeeze, pushing my fist down his length.

"God damn, Bella!" Edward's voice is gravely as he speaks around my lips. He is holding me tight against him, pulling at my clothes and pushing himself harder into my hand.

"Edward, you have to calm down. Don't use your leg, baby." I'm breathing hard as I tell him this, I want him so badly, but this is about him now - I want to do this for him.

Our mouths are hot on each other again as I continue the movement of my hand. I twist my hand on the upstroke, feeling Edward twitch against my palm.

Edward begins fumbling with the button of my pants, I push myself from him. "Edward, you can't…your leg."

Edward growls in frustration. "I just miss you, baby. I want you so damn bad it's driving me insane!"

I remove my hand from Edward and grab another towel, soaking it completely and then wringing it out. I run the moistened towel over Edward's body, removing all of the soap.

Once again I slide down to my knees, scooting closer to Edward. I lower my mouth over his erection, taking him in fully. He groans loudly and I delight in the vibrations it sends through his body. I slide my mouth almost completely off him, flicking my tongue back and forth across his head before plunging back down. His fingers run into my hair and his hand cups the back of my head.

"Bella…please." Edward's voice is laced with desperation. Oh my! Edward is begging me for release…I could get used to this.

I want to drive Edward crazy; I want him calling out my name. I slide him out of my mouth and move my hand back to his erection, stroking up and down. I trace my tongue down the underside of his shaft until I reach his balls and suck one into my mouth. Edward's hand moves from my head and grips the bath tub, thrusting himself hard into my hand.

"God, Bella! Fuck!" I have never heard Edward like this before, his voice sounds wild with lust. I continue to suck gently, my hand moving up and down hard and fast. I feel him harden further in my hand and I know he is close. I move my mouth back to his erection, sucking him in hard till he hits the back of my throat. I swallow with him still in my mouth, gripping him tightly.

"Bella!" His length jumps in my mouth and I feel the pulses of warm liquid slide down my throat. I suck him a few more times causing him to reach up to my shoulder, restraining me. "Mercy!" His breathy voice is such a turn-on.

I slide him out of my mouth, placing a single kiss as his now softening tip before rising to my feet and stepping to the sink.

I swish a small amount of mouthwash around my mouth before I turn back to Edward.

He is slumped forward, his elbows resting on his knees, head down. I step back to him, running my fingers through his wet hair. Edward wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close, placing kisses on my stomach.

I grab one of the towels off Edward's cast and begin to dry him. Once I've soaked up most of the water, I help him make his way back to his bed and get him settled. I turn to go clean up the bathroom but Edward grabs my hand, pulling me onto the bed next to him.

"Hey, stay here with me." How can I possibly resist such a request? I lower myself to the bed, snuggling up against Edward's side. His lips press against my forehead softly. "You're amazing, Bella."

I rise up on my elbow, looking into his eyes. "I love you, Edward."

A lazy smile spreads across his face before his lips touch mine.

"Bella, I love you so very much. Thank you for being here."

I run my fingers through his still damp hair, combing it back from his face. "I'm just glad I didn't lose you. I don't know what I would do without you."

Edward pulls me even tighter to him, nestling my head against his chest. "You never have to find out, baby."

I'm not sure how long we lay there, but soon I hear Edward's even breathing, telling me he's asleep. Lying by his side, feeling my eyes begin to droop, my heart and mind are filled with Edward.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All thing Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thank you so my beta, Justine and my banner maker Mkystich for the fabulous work!**

**~XXXX~**

**BPOV**

"Bella!"

My head snaps up from my work station where I have been julienning zucchini.

I've had a difficult time getting my head back in the game since Edward's accident. I just want to be with him every minute.

"Bella!" Emmett's voice sounds more urgent now.

"What is it, Emmett? I'm kind of busy right now."

I'm also a little pissed. Emmett knows how much I hate to be bothered when I'm working.

"There is some lady at the bar asking for you. She says it's important." Emmett has a look of concern on his face.

"What is anyone doing here? We aren't even open yet." I'm trying my hardest not to be annoyed with Emmett.

"I don't know. Felix let her in." Emmett shrugs and turns to leave.

I sigh loudly and set down my knife, wiping my hands across my apron. I follow Emmett out of the kitchen, toward the bar. Once we get there I look around, seeing no one.

"Where is she?" I ask, turning an eye on Emmett.

"I asked her to wait in the private dining room. Thought you might want some privacy."

I eye Emmett with curiosity, wondering why it would matter. I push the door to the private dining area open to see a red haired woman sitting in a chair, staring at the floor.

"Hello?" I call.

The woman lifts her head, her eyes still downcast, and my breath catches in my throat. Her right eye is black and blue and so swollen there is no way she can see out of it. Her lip has a big cut on it and there is some bruising on her cheek.

My mind is still in shock, but my feet manage to propel me forward. "Are you okay? Can I get you something? A drink?" I try to keep my voice calm and steady.

She finally raises her eyes to mine and I can see a pain there that is all too familiar.

"No, thank you. I'm fine." Her voice is soft and trembles slightly, and my heart goes out to her.

"What can I do for you?" I ask as I take a seat next to her.

Her fingers twist nervously in her lap. "I need your help," she pleads.

I look at her kindly. "What can I do?"

"Help me get away from James." Those words seem to make everything stand still.

This woman is with James? I just sit, staring at her for a few moments, trying to come up with the right words.

"How long has he…?" My words hang in the air, heavy with their implication.

The woman's face flushes with shame and she lowers her gaze again.

"A year." Her voice is so soft I have to strain to hear her.

Silence surrounds us, both lost in our own thoughts.

"What's your name?" I finally ask her.

"Victoria." She has gone back to twisting her hands in her lap.

I contemplate my next words very carefully. "I'm not sure what you want from me, Victoria."

Confusion clouds her features as she returns her gaze to mine. "You are Isabella Swan, right?"

"Yes, I am. I just don't understand what exactly you want from me."

Victoria's eyes glaze over with unshed tears. "He beat you too, didn't he?"

I can feel the old familiar anger burn through me.

I close my eyes, fists clenching and unclenching at my side. I focus my mind, concentrating on something calming, like my new therapist wants me to. My mind fills with visions of Edward.

When I feel calm again, I open my eyes and take a deep breath before answering her question. "Yes."

"How did you do it? How did you find the strength to leave?" Her voice holds a note of awe, something I find completely baffling.

"I didn't. I got desperate and used any means I could think of to escape." I can see the curiosity burning in her eyes. I save her the trouble of asking and answer her question, "I shot him."

Her eyes widen, understanding written on every feature.

"You were the one who shot him? He told me it happened when he tried to stop a robbery."

I laugh out loud, I can't help myself. "Of course he did. James's number one priority is his image. He will lie to anyone, say anything to protect that image."

Victoria looks up at me again, tears falling down her cheeks.

We sit in silence for a few moments before I break the silence. "I can't believe he got your face…"

Victoria looks up at me, confusion in her eyes.

"James doesn't usually hit where it can be seen," I say, remembering all too well.

A new round of tears fill Victoria's eyes and her fingers pick furiously at her skirt covered lap. I slowly move to her side and hesitantly lay my hand on her shoulder. She looks up at me, attempting a weak smile.

"I…I'm pregnant." She chokes on her words as they tumble from her lips.

All I can do is blink at her. What?

James was always so vigilant about me taking birth control, he hates children. "How?" is all I can manage to say.

"I don't know," she whispers. "I'm always so careful. I've never missed a pill."

Neither of us says a word for a few minutes, both lost in our own thoughts.

I finally manage to gather my scattered thoughts and murmur, "Tell me what happened."

Victoria trembles slightly, taking several deep breaths before she begins speaking. "James came home at his usual time. I…I had his dinner waiting for him like always. I waited till after dinner to say anything to him. He didn't yell, he just got up from his chair, walked to my side, and backhanded me."

I can see the embarrassment color her face and I understand. It's easier to lie to yourself and others when the wounds aren't staring you in the face.

I squeeze her shoulder gently. "What happened next, Victoria?"

She swallows heavily, her whole body trembling.

Watching her fills me with pity and a strange sense of déjà vu.

I used to be this woman.

I used to have a hard time meeting people's eye.

I used to be filled with constant fear.

I want to help this woman.

I need to help this woman.

"He was calm…didn't yell, just straightened his tie and sat back down." Victoria's voice cracks at this point, staccato sobs shaking her body.

I squeeze her shoulder again, trying to tell her to go on when she is ready. No words seem fitting for this situation.

"He…he told me to get rid of it. Like it's trash…like it's nothing to him." It breaks my heart to see the look of anguish that crosses her face as she recounts James's cruel words to her.

"I told him I couldn't do that." Her face is deathly pale under the bruising as she relives her story. "He never hit me in the face before. It felt like my head would explode. He told me if I didn't get it taken care of myself, then he would beat it out of me." Victoria breaks down with these words, sobs shaking her frame.

I put my arm around her shoulder and she melts into me, holding onto me like I'm her life line.

"Victoria…" I wait till she looks up at me. "May I ask you something personal?" Her watery eyes lock on mine and she nods. "Do you want to keep this baby?"

Victoria straightens, pulling free from my embrace. "I know what you must think of me, but I love this baby, and I'm going to keep it."

This poor girl thinks I judge her.

"Victoria, what you are doing takes a lot of guts. I know some people that can help you. How far are you willing to take this?"

She doesn't even consider my words for a second. "As far as I have to." Her voice is quiet but sure. "I will keep my baby safe."

It seems as though she means what she says. Conviction rings in her voice. That's a good sign.

**~xx~**

After hurriedly settling things with Angela and Esme, Victoria and I are speeding down the road toward the hospital. After some talking, I persuaded her to let me take her to the hospital to see Carlisle.

We meet Carlisle in his office. I can sense Victoria's hesitance.

"Victoria, this is Doctor Cullen. He is a good man. He won't judge you. Can you tell him what happened?"

Victoria's eyes show her fear as she gazes at me. I know how hard this is for her, and I'm sure she feels like she is being pushed, but it is so crucial for her to act now while she has the courage to seek help.

I sit in silence as Victoria recounts her story to Carlisle, stopping frequently to cry.

"I would like to examine you, Victoria, if you are comfortable with that." Carlisle is using his most soothing voice.

I'll admit to being surprised when Victoria gives her consent, but Carlisle does invoke a sense of calm.

"Victoria, would you like me to stay for the exam?"

I'm surprised when Carlisle interjects before Victoria speaks. "Bella, I think it would be best if you waited outside. Victoria, if you're uncomfortable being alone with me, don't worry, a female nurse will be present."

Victoria's face goes from horror to relief in the span of Carlisle's words. She is clearly nervous, so I give her my most encouraging smile before I head to the waiting room.

**~xx~**

"Are you sure you're ready for this? Once we go in, there is no turning back." I speak as frankly as I can to Victoria. I have to make sure she understands how serious this is.

"I'm ready," Victoria says and strides through the double doors of the Seattle Police Headquarters.

It's a strange feeling to be sitting here in the police station, listening to a stranger describe the horrifying details of a life with James.

To Charlie's credit, he remains calm as Victoria explains the depth of James's cruelty. More than once, I see anger flash through his eyes followed by sadness as his gaze settles on me.

After hours of statements, Victoria is finally finished.

"Do you have any where you can go?" I ask as we settle into my car.

Victoria shakes her head, eyes downcast.

I figured as much.

"Don't worry, I know a place."

**~xx~**

The building we pull up to is plain and unassuming, having the appearance of an average apartment building.

Victoria gives me a quizzical look and I rush to explain. "This is a battered woman's shelter."

I move to get out of the car, but Victoria touches my shoulder, stopping me.

"Why are you helping me?" she asks.

I knew this would come up sooner or later.

"I don't know you, Victoria, but I know James. No one should have to live that kind of life. I'm in awe of your bravery…to leave him; it's a hard thing to do. I don't want you to struggle with this alone. I did…not because I had to - I chose to. I played his little game, kept his dirty secret. Even after I left, I still played along, stayed silent. You are willing to fight back in the only way James will ever understand…threatening his reputation. It may sound strange to you, but part of me needs to do this…to redeem myself. If I had been as brave as you years ago, you wouldn't be here now."

We gaze at each other with damp eyes, an understanding passes between us.

**~xx~**

My apartment feels so empty. I don't want to be here. I glance at the clock — it's three in the morning. I should just get into bed and go to sleep, but I just can't. I need Edward.

**~xx~**

I slip my key into the lock as quietly as I can and manage to make it inside without a sound. I move slowly up the stairs toward Edward's bedroom, careful not to step on the creaky stair.

I slide off my clothes and quickly climb under the covers. Edward stirs as my cool hands wrap around his warm body.

"Bella?" His sleepy, confused voice brings a smile to my face.

I press myself to him, taking comfort from his naked flesh against mine.

He wraps his arms around me, pressing kisses to my forehead.

"Are you alright, love?" His voice is muffled against my hair.

I sigh heavily. "It's just been a long night."

"You want to talk about it?" I can feel him start to pull himself up and I hold him tighter, not wanting to lose even the smallest amount of contact.

"Not tonight…tomorrow. I'm really tired. I just need you." I can feel his smile against me and I know my words have made him blissfully happy.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward." And with these words, I fall asleep, perfectly content in Edward's arms.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N : Thank so much for reading!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to my beta, Justine and my banner maker, Mkystich, you are both super fab!**

**~XXXX~**

**EPOV**

It's been awhile since I've been this nervous, and frankly, it's pissing me off. I'm supposed to be being strong for Bella, not freaking out because I'm in an elevator.

"Edward, are you okay?" Bella's voice is laced with concern.

Nice, Cullen, like she needs more to worry about right now.

"Yeah, baby...I'm fine," I reassure her, while gripping the handrail to the point of pain.

As soon as the elevator doors open, I am out in the hall. We are taking the stairs down when we leave. I don't care if we are on the twentieth floor.

"I don't know if I can do this." Bella's voice is strained, her small body tense.

I pull her to me, looking down into her worried, fearful eyes.

"You'll nail this. I'll be waiting right out here if you need me." I rub my hand up and down her back, hoping to bring her some comfort.

"I'm so proud of you, babe. I know you're nervous, but you should get in there, everyone will be waiting for you." I kiss her forehead gently, trying to will some comfort into her.

My attention is drawn to a slight commotion behind Bella.

There is a man walking toward us, buttoning up his three piece suit, and shoving a file folder roughly into the chest of the small, nervous man following him.

"You better fucking fix this, Jenks! I don't have time for this bullshit!"

An unbelievable change comes over Bella. The strong, tough woman I know melts away and is replaced by a woman who is trembling violently against me, her fingers digging into my shirt, her face pressed tightly to my chest.

"Bella…Bella! Are you alright?" I try pushing her back so I can see her face, but she has a death grip on me, and even as small as she is, I can't move her, not without hurting her.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders, holding her against me. I feel powerless to help her since I have no idea what's wrong.

The two men are advancing on us; the one in the three piece suit is staring intently at us – hatred written on every feature.

I don't know what this guy's problem is, but he is starting to piss me off.

I pull Bella out of the path of the two men, hearing a low, cynical laugh as they pass by.

"What the hell is your problem, buddy?" I snap at them.

They don't even acknowledge my words, but I'm pretty sure I hear one of them mumble, "Crazy bitch."

Lucky for that guy I don't have time to beat his face in. Bella is clinging to me tighter than ever and shaking so severely I'm beginning to wonder if she is having a seizure.

I hate feeling helpless. I haven't felt so useless since Bella had that run-in with her ex.

All the pieces suddenly fall into place. Bella is here for a meeting with a lawyer who is building a case against her ex-husband. He would need to be interviewed by the opposing counsel.

It all fits. That had to be him, lawyer in tow. It's the only explanation for Bella acting like this.

I turn to look at the two men, glimpsing the leering face of Bella's ex-husband as the elevator door closes.

I'm not usually one to succumb to anger, but at this moment I'm having a difficult time reining in the white hot fury shooting through my body.

A choked sob from Bella focuses my mind back on her, taking me away from fantasies of beating the living hell out of her ex.

"Bella…baby, he's gone. Look at me, please." I try to keep my voice as soft and calm as possible.

She raises her face, allowing me a glimpse of her puffy, red-rimmed eyes.

"Great…now I look like crap." Her voice cracks as she begins swiping her hand beneath her eyes.

I guide Bella toward the restrooms, ignoring convention and walking right into the ladies room with my girl.

"Edward! What are you doing?" The look on Bella's face and the tone of her voice tell me she thinks I have lost my mind.

I reach for the paper towel, wetting it, and bring the cool, wet paper to Bella's face.

"I'm taking care of my girl." Even with her eyes all red and her mascara starting to run, she is, hands down, the most beautiful woman on the planet.

I dab the paper towel at her eyes, wiping away all signs of distress. "There you go, no one will ever know." Leaning forward, I kiss her forehead, wrapping her in my arms again.

Her fingers press tightly to my back for a moment before she lets out a big sigh. "I guess I better get a move on, huh?"

"Only if you're ready, babe." I can't even tell her how proud I am of her, so I give her one more kiss, hoping that says it better than any words can.

Bella hesitates outside the office door. "I don't know how long I'll be, are you sure you want to wait?"

I smile at her, reluctantly letting her hand go. "I'll be right here when you are finished."

I settle myself on a nearby bench and daydream about all the ways I would like to torture her ex-husband.

**~xx~**

Bella looks like she is in complete shock as she walks out the door, and I jump up from my seat, rushing to her side.

"Is something wrong? Are you okay?" My hands and eyes start roaming over her body, trying to figure out why she looks this way.

Bella is just blinking at me, a look of surprise on her face.

"Bella, what is going on? Please say something." I bring my hands to caress her face, hoping I can get her to talk.

"They…got him." Her voice sounds stunned; I don't understand and it's starting to worry me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"James...Tanya, the lawyer...she has a strong case against him." I can barely make sense of Bella's words.

I guide her to the bench, easing her down to the seat. "Babe, you aren't making any sense. Can you explain things?"

"Miss Denali, Tanya, doesn't have enough to make a battery case. However, she has been able to go through some of his old cases and has found some things she can use to prosecute." Bella is still talking in a slightly dazed voice.

"Babe, what are you talking about? What cases?" I know we have not talked about this before.

"James is an assistant district attorney; he helps decide which cases go to trial. Tanya said there are inconsistencies in some of his old cases she thinks will give us a chance to nail him."

I'm still not quite understanding why this is such a big deal.

"Sounds like the lawyer is really enthusiastic."

Bella's eyes seem to focus on me for the first time since she left the office – she's really seeing me now.

"She's on a mission to get James. They went to law school together, and she said she always knew he was into some questionable dealings, but never had proof. With Victoria bringing formal charges against him, it's allowing Tanya greater access to his case records."

This makes everything so much clearer.

"Were you able to give her some useful information?" I ask.

"Yeah. Tanya was very interested in some of the people James knew when we were married," she tells me.

**~xx~**

Bella and I sit at a small, quiet table in the far corner of a coffee shop, lost in our own thoughts. She has told me about everyone who had already been interviewed by the lawyer, including my dad and Charlie.

My dear, sweet girl still seems dazed by the fact that the man who put her through years of hell might now be facing the possibility of future jail time.

Bella is mindlessly stirring her coffee while I stroke the back of her hand with my fingertips.

"What are you thinking about, love?"

Bella looks up at me, smiling warmly. "I was thinking about you, actually."

"What about me?" I ask, enjoying the kind of smile I can bring to her face.

"Just thinking about how much I love being with you and how much I miss you when we're apart. I hate going back to my apartment now; it's so lonely there."

I grasp Bella's hand, lacing our fingers together.

"You could always move in with me."

My heart sinks a little when I don't see immediate enthusiasm cross her face.

"Edward…I don't know if I'm ready for that step," she whispers.

I try to keep the disappointment from showing on my face and simply bring her hand to my lips.

"It's okay, Bella. I understand. It's too soon for you."

Bella moves her other hand to cover mine. "I'm not saying no, I just need some time to think it over. Just give me a little while. I have a lot on my plate right now."

I feel like a heel. I'm supposed to be taking stress from her, not adding to it.

"Hey, how about you come over tonight? I'll cook you dinner and give you a massage…help take your mind off things. Sound good?"

Bella's smile lights her face again. "That sounds perfect. I can't wait."

My heart soars with the idea of her trusting me enough to cook for her, because she doesn't bestow that privilege on just anyone.

**~xx~**

Noodles boiling…check. Sauce simmering…check. Wine chilling…check. Candles lit…check. Now all I need is my girl and everything will be perfect.

Mere moments pass and I hear a soft tap, followed by the sound of my front door opening and closing. I'm glad Bella is finally feeling comfortable enough to just walk in, no longer worrying I'll be upset.

I jog into the living room and scoop Bella into my arms, kissing her enthusiastically.

"What is all of this for?" she asks, giggling while I pepper her with kisses.

"I'm not allowed to miss my girl?" I nibble along her neck, loving how I can make laughter bubble out of her.

"You are. It smells wonderful in here. What did you make?"

I guide Bella to the kitchen, showing her the noodles and Alfredo I made.

She sits down and allows me to serve dinner to her – which pleases me greatly.

We don't talk much through dinner, small comments here and there, nothing serious.

Once we have both finished, I grab Bella's hand, pulling her behind me as I ascend the stairs.

I allow Bella to step ahead of me into my bedroom, watching her face glow in anticipation as she surveys the scented oils and lotions I have on display next to my bed.

I run my index finger down her neck, feeling her shiver. I marvel at her sensitivity to my touch. My finger runs the length of her spine till I reach the hem of her shirt and, slowly, I tug it upwards.

I lower my mouth to taste her luscious skin as soon as it is exposed to me, hearing the sharp in take of breath as my tongue glides over the planes of her chest. I tug at the offending article that is her bra. If it was my choice, she would never wear a bra in my presence; her breasts are too heavenly to be covered.

My hands are drawn to the warm, round flesh of her mounds. I rub and squeeze them gently, watching the tips pucker in arousal.

"Go hop on the bed, babe." I can hear the desire in my voice, feel it coursing through my body. I want to do something for her, though.

Bella stretches out on my bed, her half naked body laid out before me.

She watches me over her shoulder, a slightly wary look on her face. I know how hard this must be for her, to lay herself out in front of me, completely vulnerable. I know she trusts me, but I make a point of staying visible to her as I approach the bed.

I crawl across the bed to her, positioning myself over her thighs. I squeeze a small amount of massage oil into my palm, rubbing my hands together to warm the oil before I touch her skin. With great care, I press my hands gently to her back.

Emotion unexpectedly courses through me as my fingers run over the ridges of her scarred back. Grief swells within me, and I wish I had the power to erase all of her hurt and pain.

I splay my hands across her skin, rubbing small, gentle circles into her muscles. The tension melts from her body as my hands move up to her shoulders. Even with the scars that crisscross her skin, she is beautiful. Leaning forward, I brush my lips softy over her, eliciting a deep moan from her lips. Encouraged by her sounds, I move my mouth across her skin, down to the small of her back.

These jeans must go.

Sliding my hands under her hips, I pop the button on her jeans and remove them easily.

Uh!

The sight of Bella's perfectly round ass, highlighted by her black thong, sends desire coursing through my body.

I slide my hands over the soft fullness of her backside, massaging her cheeks. Another groan of pleasure issues from Bella and I increase the pressure of my hands. I pause long enough to remove my own shirt and jeans, settling back over Bella in just my boxers.

I continue rubbing her back with long, deep strokes. Next, I move to her arms, paying attention to each one. I bring my hands to her legs now...rubbing from ankle to thigh, brushing my thumbs across the tiny triangle of fabric that passes for underwear.

Bella's moans fill the room as I continue rubbing against the apex of her thighs.

I make one more pass, inching my hands up her legs till I am able to curl my fingers around the waistband of her thong.

I love Bella naked – I love her however she is, but naked Bella is definitely my favorite.

I scoot down her legs until my mouth is level with her behind, pressing my lips to her warm backside, and I drag them up her glorious body.

"Edward..." The desperate sound of her voice is fuel to my fire.

I slip quickly from my boxers, slide back over Bella, and kiss my way up her back.

My chest presses to her spine as I move my hands up her arms till our fingers intertwine.

I'm in awe of this woman. Of how much trust she has in me. Of how vulnerable she's made herself to me.

We both moan our pleasure as my body enters hers.

This position allows me to hit her so deeply I feel we have reached a new level of intimacy.

I rock on top of hers, never losing even the smallest amount of contact with her skin.

We move as one. She pushes back as I push forward.

Bella completely owns me. My every move, my very thrust, is all for her.

Tension builds within me, forcing my body to move faster – harder.

I kiss the delicate flesh behind her ear before whispering words I know will send her over the edge.

"I love you, Bella."

Her response is immediate.

She writhes beneath me, my name tumbling from her lips in high pitched cries and rhythmic panting. Her ecstasy becomes mine as she pulls me further inside her, sending me into a swirling vortex of pleasure.

I rest my head on Bella's shoulder for a moment before rolling off her and pulling her to my chest.

Fatigue washes over me. I kiss the top of my girl's head and drift to sleep with the words I love you, Edward lingering in my ears.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading!  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to my beta, Justine and my banner maker, Mkystich, you are both super fab!**

** ~XXXX~**

**James POV**

Around...over...through.

Fuck!

This tie still doesn't look right. I'm not used to doing this shit myself. Fucking forget it. I'll have my secretary fix it when I get to the office.

**~xx~**

"Hurry up, Jessica! I don't have all fucking day!"

This broad gives the worst fucking head ever, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

She finally sucks me to release, and I hurriedly zip my fly while Jessica scoots out from under my desk.

She sashays her way over to me, fixing my tie quickly before sliding her fingers up across my cheek.

"Dammit, woman! I've told you time and time again not to fucking touch me. Mouth on dick is the only touching you are permitted." I close my fingers tightly around her wrist, pulling her hand from my face.

My other hand goes to her throat, sinking into her neck, squeezing hard enough to make my point.

Her eyes glisten with tears and fear is present in her every feature.

I love to see the fear – to feel the rush of power. The first time is always the best. To see the realization dawn on my victim that I have all the power. That they are at my mercy.

It's been months since I've seen this kind of fear. Ever since Victoria left…

I close my fingers tighter around her throat, hearing the satisfying gasp as her breathing is impeded.

I'm reminded of the first time I saw this kind of fear from Bella and Victoria.

Bella was my first. The way her face would redden as she gasped for air... The power I felt...so addictive... I always wanted more.

Victoria was different, but no less enticing. She would go completely limp any time I felt the need to exert my will on her.

A soft mewling, like that of a distressed kitten draws my attention back to Jessica. She is trying to wriggle herself from my grip.

I loosen my fingers quickly, pulling Jessica against me. "Look what you made me do...let me make it up to you, how does that sound?"

Jessica looks up at me, a hopeful smile on her face.

Oh, the things I would do to her if I had more time. Lucky for her I don't.

I have every confidence I'll be back in my office by this afternoon, and then perhaps I'll see if Miss Stanley will accompany me to dinner – suck her in with the old charm.

Yes, I think Jessica will do nicely. I could probably have her living with me within the month. Eating out gets old, and I can't cook at all. I much prefer having someone cook for me at home.

"We'll finish this later," I purr at her, turning the charm on full blast. Yes...she will do nicely!

**~xx~**

My leg bounces in frustration and I slide the pen back and forth in front of me.

I can't believe this whole thing went to trial. Ethics violations... What a crock of shit.

Fucking Jenks. I should fire his ass.

He was supposed to find some sort of leverage against that bitch, Tanya. He claims he found nothing, so either she is squeaky clean, or she fucked him to shut him up. My money is on the latter. No attorney is squeaky clean.

My gaze wanders around the courtroom, taking in the people filling the seats.

Ms. Denali sits across the room from me, looking all high and mighty in her tailored suit. That woman needs to be taken down a peg or two. She thinks too much of herself, and I can certainly think of a thing or two I would like to do to her.

Victoria sits directly behind Ms. Denali, eyes on her lap. She knows I'm watching her.

She was always so good. So easy to control until that fucking baby came along.

I never expected something like this from Victoria; she was never a fighter.

I was shocked when she left, and even more shocked that she was the one behind the battery charges filed against me. Lucky for me, Ms. Denali wasn't able to make the charges stick. Though it gave her access to some of my cases I would rather she hadn't nosed around in.

If I was allowed to speak to Victoria alone, I could make her see reason, but it's too late now. She made her bed and she can lie in it, but she'd better not ask me for a fucking dime for that baby.

A movement behind Victoria draws my attention. It's Bella. She's leaning forward to squeeze Victoria's shoulder and whisper in her ear.

I should have known Bella was the one behind all this, she was always trouble.

Bella looks different than when we were together. She is sitting straight and rigid in her seat next to the same man I saw her with weeks ago.

She is leaning into him, looking tranquil and dignified.

Bitch! You didn't look so haughty crying and bleeding on our bedroom floor.

The memory of Bella trembling and vulnerable gives me a powerful feeling – a high.

I look forward to continuing things with Jessica. She will be my new conquest.

I turn my attention back to the front of the court room and, to my great surprise, I see Ms. Denali has called Aro Volturi to the stand and, for the first time, I'm nervous.

I was the lead defense on Aro's racketeering case several years ago. I got his case dismissed by looking the other way when key people were paid off. I had been rewarded handsomely for my efforts, but to see Mr. Volturi sitting here talking about his case... It makes me very nervous.

"Mr. Volturi, how do you know the defendant?" Ms. Denali asks.

"He was my attorney." Aro looks directly at me while he speaks.

Ms. Denali continues her questioning. "Mr. Volturi, will you please tell the court the reason you required a lawyer?"

Aro's eyes never leave mine, arrogance written all over his face. "I hired Mr. Hunter to represent me in the states racketeering case against me."

"And what was the outcome of that case?" Ms. Denali prompts.

"The case was dropped due to lack of evidence."

My blood runs cold as the worry, absent for the entirety of this fiasco, sets in.

Ms. Denali asks, "Can you please elaborate?"

"Witnesses were bribed not to testify."

I relax slightly. So far Aro has given nothing away.

"Did you bribe those witnesses, Mr. Volturi?"

"Yes."

"And was Mr. Hunter aware of these actions?"

"Objection!" Jenks shouts. "The witness can't possibly know what my client was aware of."

Ms. Denali is quick with her reply, holding up a file folder for the courtroom to see. "Your honor, I have evidence that will show Mr. Hunter received financial compensation for his silence."

The judge motions to the bailiff, and he steps forward, taking the file from the attorney. The click of his shoes is loud in the silent courtroom as he hands the folder to the judge, who immediately peruses its contents.

The judge comes to a quick decision. "Overruled. The witness will answer the question."

I cringe inwardly, knowing what's coming as soon as the words leave the judge's mouth.

Ms. Denali asks her question again.

Aro looks right at me and says the words that will end my career. "Yes. Mr. Hunter was fully aware that he was being paid to look the other way when it came to paying off the jury."

I can't believe this. After everything I let Aro get away with, the motherfucker turns on me.

I'm at the top of my career – one of the youngest assistant district attorneys ever poised to become the next district attorney in the next several years.

I never thought Aro would be one to rat someone out. That Denali bitch must have something big on him. I'm going to have Jenks's heart on a platter for not preventing this.

The trial continues, and all I can do is watch in horror as the career I've built falls to shambles. One by one, I watch as people I thought had my back reveal how I have lied, cheated, and bribed my way to the top.

Before I know it, the judge is calling for a two-hour recess while he deliberates the facts of the case.

**~xx~**

"All rise." The bailiff's words ring through the court room, followed by the general shuffling noise of people standing.

"Mr. Hunter, as a public servant, your actions violate the state code of ethics. You are charged with a class D felony for receiving monetary benefit greater than five thousand dollars and you are sentenced to three years in jail. Bailiff, please take Mr. Hunter into custody." The smack of the judge's gavel echoes through my brain.

Jail? How can this be happening? I see Bella, Victoria, and Tanya hugging each other and smiling.

Looking at their relieved faces, I want to beat each one until they're unrecognizable. Choke the life out of them. I want to kill every single one of them.

**Charlie POV**

I have always been a law-abiding man. Spent my life up holding and defending the law.

Seeing James hauled out does little to bring me a sense of justice. I'm pleased to see him being locked up, but my faith in the justice system is shaken. This man should be treated like the monster he is for the brutality he inflicted on Bella and Victoria.

I have seen firsthand how little the laws of this country protect women exposed to constant physical threat.

As much as I want to jump out of my seat and pistol whip this son of a bitch, I remain in my seat, a plan forming in my mind.

I may not be able to lay a hand on James, but I can ensure that he suffers in prison.

The officer in charge of cell assignments happens to be a friend of mine, and he owes me a favor. I believe it's time for James to know what it is to be someone's punching bag.

**Random prisoner POV**

I sit up on my bunk, eyeing the new guy as he is led toward Biggy's cell.

It's been a couple months since Biggy had a cellmate - he is one bad motherfucker.

The man they are leading in is on the small side and doesn't look like he is used to fighting. I give it a week before Biggy makes the new guy his bitch.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thanks for reading!  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: All things twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thank you to my wonderful beta and friend, Justine for all the hard work she has done on this story!**

**~XXXX~**

**BPOV**

"Please be careful and call me when you land," I say. I'm a bit shocked by the knowledge that I will really miss Victoria. We've grown quite close during James's trial. "Make sure you let me know when that little one is born and send pictures."

Victoria is moving back to live near her parents in New Hampshire. It will be the best thing for her and her baby; she will have the support she needs.

I watch Victoria board the plane, tears stinging my eyes. I hope she'll be happy. She deserves to find some peace after everything that's happened.

**~xx~**

My life is much the same as it was months ago. I still like to have my routines, but inside, I feel like an entirely different person.

Monday is still my boxing day with Emmett. I love the camaraderie we share; in so many ways Emmett is the big brother I never had.

The physical exertion of boxing is still exhilarating, but I no longer use boxing as a means to release my anger. I'm working with Doctor Garrett weekly on relaxation techniques, and so far they are working great!

Tuesday remains my day with Rosalie. Our relationship has changed greatly since the intervention. There is no more professional side to our relationship, only friendship. We usually meet for a drink to discuss our jobs…or our guys.

Alice fills my Wednesdays with laughter and whatever girly pursuits she can concoct.

Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, I cook like mad at the restaurant...loving every minute of it.

Sunday is my day of rest with Felix, Demetri, and Jane. Edward joins us most of the time – as long as he's in town.

Edward is the biggest change in my life. Not only do I see him almost every day, but he has changed my heart more than I ever believed possible.

It's hard for me to even imagine my life without him now.

**~xx~**

I look back and forth between Edward and the blindfold. "Are you serious?"

"Come on, love. I want you to be surprised."

Edward's mischievous grin melts my resolve and I allow him to secure the blindfold over my eyes.

He gently takes my hand and helps me into his car.

Sitting here, completely blind, having no idea what's going on, is a testament to how much I trust Edward.

"Can I have a little hint?" I ask.

"Not a chance. You'll have to wait and see." I can hear the mischievous delight in Edward's voice. It makes me smile.

I can tell by the feel of the car we're driving fast, most likely on the highway, but I have no idea which highway or which direction. This does little to clue me into where we might be headed.

When Edward finally slows and cuts the engine, butterflies begin to flutter in my stomach – soon I will know what he has up his sleeve.

He guides me slowly from the car and we begin to walk. Edward keeps a hand on my lower back, while the other gently grips my fingers.

I step slowly, unsure of what to expect.

I hear movement around me, though nothing loud – we must not be in a crowded place.

Edward stops me suddenly, pulling the blindfold from my eyes in a swift movement.

The onslaught of light causes me to squint and shade my eyes.

A thunderous boom of sound hits my ears, loud cries of, "Suprise!" echoing all around me.

As my eyes adjust, I'm shocked to see that I'm standing in Esme and Carlisle's backyard. All of my friends are gathered around, a large banner hangs on the gazebo reading, Happy Birthday, Bella!

I turn toward Edward, who is grinning from ear to ear.

"My birthday isn't for another week!"

Edward pulls me against him, placing gentle kisses to my hair.

"I know, love. If I had waited till next week, you would have been suspicious and I never would have gotten you here."

I smile…knowing his words are true.

Renee is the first to surge forward, Charlie in tow.

Edward releases me from his embrace right as Renee pulls me into hers.

"Did we get you?" Alice chirps as I move back to Edward's arms after a quick hug from Charlie.

I nod and smile at Alice. I am most certainly surprised.

Picnic tables are spread across the backyard, laden with food and decorations.

Green and yellow paper lanterns hang from the trees and small white lights are strung everywhere. I'm sure Alice, Esme, and Renee must have worked together to put up all of this.

Edward guides me to one of the tables, and I dig into the food enthusiastically.

Everything tastes wonderful. They have gone to the trouble to make sure all my favorite dishes are here. A year ago, you couldn't pay me to eat something I hadn't personally prepared. This is something else I can attribute to Edward's presence in my life.

After everyone has eaten their fill, Alice wheels out a big cake – ridiculously big, really.

The three-tiered cake is covered in yellow and green striped fondant, silver letters spell out Bella on the top. It's one of the loveliest cakes I have ever seen.

To my utter embarrassment, everyone has gifts for me.

Each gift is special and meaningful to me, but none more than Edward's.

Like the first gift he gave, Edward has made me another book.

This one features pictures of the two of us in Scotland. I had no idea anyone was taking pictures of us. Sneaky boy…

Edward has chosen black and white photos of us kissing or holding hands with the words my love, my heart, or my world printed under each picture.

I can't help the tears pouring down my cheeks at his beautiful and thoughtful gift.

**~xx~**

The afternoon slips into evening, and I make my way to the gazebo in the middle of the yard. I look at the people scattered around.

Esme, Alice, and Felix are discussing pattern ideas for seat cushions. Rose, Renee, and Demetri are cooing over baby Jane. Charlie and Emmett are playing armchair quarterback and discussing the best strategies for the Seahawks offense. Jasper and Carlisle have set up a chessboard on one of the picnic tables and are both deep in thought over their next move.

I lean against the rail of the gazebo, happiness filling my soul.

I feel Edward's soft touch on my hip and his nose running up the side of my neck.

"What are you thinking?" His warm breath sends shivers dancing across my skin.

"Just thinking about our patchwork family here."

He pulls me into his arms, setting his chin on my shoulder. "They are quite the bunch aren't they?"

I can hear the smile in his voice and I nod in agreement of his words.

"Bella?" Edward's voice is soft...emotion filled.

I turn in his embrace, placing a kiss to his Adam's apple.

He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Move in with me." His voice holds so much feeling it causes me to gasp slightly, my breath catching in my throat.

"I know you aren't ready for marriage or chi—" I cut him off with a kiss.

"Yes," I murmur around his lips.

Edward pulls back, his face shining with excitement.

"You will? You'll move in with me?" His mood is infectious and I smile widely at him.

"Yes to all of it. I want a life with you, Edward. I want your name. I want your babies. I want it all."

Tears are running down my face as I speak. Edward's thumbs brush the tears from my cheeks; moisture glistens in his eyes as well.

His lips meet mine in a slow, sensuous kiss.

The world melts away and there is just us, a young couple very much in love.

**~The End~**

**A/N: Thank you all for reading!  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with this story! Hugs to all!**

**~XXXX~**

**Jane POV**

"Bella, you're beautiful!"

Bella bends down to talk to me; her face looks like a star - shiny and pretty.

"You're beautiful too, Janie-bug. Auntie Alice did a lovely job on your hair."

I touch the curls on my head. They are fun and bouncy.

"Alright, people, everyone in their place!" Daddy is shouting; he's loud when he's excited.

"Relax, Demetri, we're all right here." Bella gives my daddy a big hug.

"Are you the lovely lady I get to escort?" Mr. Charlie asks me. He's silly.

"No! You're supposed to walk with Auntie Bella!"

"Wait, you mean you're not the one getting married today?"

"No! I'm only four!"

Mr. Charlie's mustache wiggles when he laughs.

It makes me laugh.

"Come on, Dad, I'm ready." Auntie Bella is smiling.

It's my turn now. I get to throw flowers in the grass for Auntie Bella to walk on.

**EPOV**

I've been waiting for this day for so long. Today Bella will really be mine.

It's been a long road to get here. Bella has worked through so many of her demons. It hasn't always been easy - a lot of baby steps - but she keeps moving forward, and I couldn't be more proud of her.

Since Bella moved in with me three years ago, life has been a whirlwind. That was a huge step for her, and though she had told me she was ready for marriage, I knew she didn't mean immediately. She meant she was ready to consider it.

I remember the day she said yes. It was the best day of my life. Well, until today.

I had the whole proposal planned. I made a photo book, similar to the one I gave her right after we met, only this time the photos spelled _Marry me_ rather than _Sorry_. I was going to make her a fancy dinner, and have our place lit up with candles and filled with flowers…but I never made it that far. I ended up proposing to her right in our bed. I had woken up early and just lay there watching her sleep. She looked so beautiful, and I couldn't hold myself back. As soon as she woke up I gave her the book and presented her with a ring. She said yes immediately.

A sharp jab to my ribs brings my attention to Emmett. I whisper to him, "What the fuck, man?"

He doesn't say a word, but simply motions toward the house with his head.

There she is.

My bride, stepping through the French doors of my parents' house on Charlie's arm.

She's perfect.

Her dress hugs her frame deliciously, and though I know her body well after all this time, I'm already throbbing with desire to peel that dress off her.

I know Bella and Alice had a hard time finding a dress that would cover her back. Bella has come along way in accepting her scars; she has no more qualms about me touching them or having them exposed when we are alone. She isn't to the point where she's comfortable with other people seeing them, so I know she wanted a dress that would cover them but wasn't too conservative. They did a hell of a job. She looks amazing.

**~xx~**

Our ceremony is a simple one with only friends, family, and timeless promises.

When the minister pronounces us Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, it's the sweetest sound I've ever heard. _Mrs. Cullen_…I will never get tired of hearing that.

The reception is perfect. Angela and the crew from the restaurant have outdone themselves. The food and the cake are delicious, though completely upstaged by the bride.

**~xx~**

Our honeymoon is everything I hoped it would be and so much more. Bella is absolutely in love with our hotel. It's a private bungalow on Vonu Point in Fiji. This is my gift to her: a beautiful island honeymoon in a place she can be comfortable wearing a bikini. And wear one she has, almost every minute of the day, or at least all the minutes I'm not taking her out of it.

**~xx~**

It's been a while since all our friends and family were gathered together. Everything has changed so much in the last seven years since our wedding.

The large house and backyard that served my parents so well for years has been turned over to Bella and me, and our two children.

Bella and I discussed having children of our own, but we opted for adoption instead, seeing as there are so many children in need of a good home. Martin and Marie are the highlights of our lives. Martin was six months old when we adopted him, and he's now an adventurous four-year-old. Our latest addition, Marie, is nearly two years old. She's been with us since she was three weeks old.

Today we are all gathered for a barbecue in honor of my birthday. Bella has meticulously planned this day, making all my favorite dishes and inviting our friends and family to join the celebration.

It brings a smile to my face to see the changes the years have brought to our friends and family.

Emmett guides Rosalie to a chair, her belly gently rounded with their first child.

It's great to see Alice and Jasper here. We don't see them as often as we would like since they opened their nightclub in downtown Seattle.

Jane is now a lovely girl of twelve and, even though both Felix and Demetri dote on her, she isn't the least bit spoiled. I've never met a more respectful and polite child.

Of course Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, and Renee are here. All four are absolutely thrilled to be grandparents. To see them interact with the children is a real joy for Bella and me.

"What are you thinking about over here by yourself?" Bella's arms slip around my waist, her head ducking under my arm so she is tucked into my side.

"Just thinking about how much things have changed since the last time we were all together."

Bella looks out over the crowd gathered in our backyard, listening to the happy chatter filling the air. "Yeah, there's been a lot of change, but all for the better. Some days I feel like I'm in a fairytale. I never expected a happily ever after."

Her words bring a smile to my lips as my arms close around her shoulders. "Does that make me Prince Charming?"

Bella laughs, laying her head against my chest. "Something like that."

Kissing the top of Bella's head, I sigh in satisfaction. I couldn't ask for a better life than the one I have, and I look forward to a future full of happiness with my beautiful wife by my side.

**~XXXX~**

**A/N: Thank you all so much!**


End file.
